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Funny Unbearable Quotes
Funny Quotes about Unbearable

Let these funny Unbearable Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition.
The immature mind often mistakes one for the other,
or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy -
in fact, they're almost incompatible;
one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.
Both at once can produce unbearable turmoil.
- Robert Heinlein

Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong

A competent and self-confident person is
incapable of jealousy in anything.
Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Keep your attention focused entirely
on what is truly your own concern,
and be clear that what belongs to others
is their business and none of yours.
- Epictetus


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The jealous are troublesome to others,
but a torment to themselves.
- William Penn

True love is a process of co-creation
in which neither feels ownership or superiority.
Jealousy is a highly destructive force
for love and relationships.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Jealousy is a child of selfishness and distrust.
- Mourning Dove


 

Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Wisdom I know is social.
She seeks her fellows.
But Beauty is jealous,
and illy bears the presence of a rival.
- Thomas Jefferson

Jealousy is that pain which a man feels
from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved
by the person whom he entirely loves.
- Joseph Addison

Jealousy is the result of one's lack
of self-confidence, self-worth, and self-acceptance.
- Sasha Azevedo

To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is,
a dissatisfaction with self.
- Joan Didion

Love without jealousy. Love without need.
Let love be an unconditional gift.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

O! beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-eyed monster which
doth mock the meat it feeds on.
- William Shakespeare

I am the master of my emotions -
I transform fear to love, anger to compassion,
pain to comfort, scarcity to abundance,
expectation to gratitude, and jealousy to generosity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You shall not covet your neighbor's house;
you shall not covet your neighbor's wife,
nor his male servant, nor his female servant,
nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.
- Exodus 20:17

If you have an emotional reaction in the presence of someone,
your heart is telling you that you have
not resolved your issues with them.
In other words, you have not truly forgiven that person.
All of this begs the question, how do we forgive?
First, cease lying to yourself and stop telling yourself stories
about why you behave the way you do.
Stop blaming your behavior on other people
and take responsibility for your emotional reactions.
If you could forgive all the people in your life
who have hurt or wounded you
it would be possible to be in control of your behavior
instead of being in reaction to other people all of the time.
Imagine living life without experiencing
a constant emotional roller-coaster of pain, anger, and jealousy!
That would be bliss!
- Sheri Rosenthal

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.
- Katharine Hepburn

Procrastination is like a credit card:
it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
- Christopher Parker

It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words
but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

It's work only if I say it's work,
but it's play if I say it's fun.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If we like what we do, if we always do our best,
then we are really enjoying life.
We are having fun, we don't get bored,
we don't have frustrations.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Life is a game - a game you can never win.
You already know the final score: Life 1, You 0.
Doesn't mean you can't have fun playing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We see Life through the fun-house mirrors of our point-of-view.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Become more and more innocent,
less knowledgeable and more childlike.
Take life as fun -
because that's precisely what it is!
- Osho

To love what you do and feel that it matters,
how on earth could anything be more fun.
- Katherine Graham

I want to have fun, and I want to change the world.
I have a chance to do both.
- Bono

As a rock star, I have two instincts,
I want to have fun, and I want to change the world.
I have a chance to do both.
- Bono

It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
- Walt Disney

People rarely succeed unless they
have fun in what they are doing.
- Dale Carnegie

Love bravely, live bravely, be courageous;
there's really nothing to lose.
There's no wrong you can't make right again,
so be kinder to yourself;
have fun, take chances. There are no bounds.
- Jewel

Remember that "concern" is about the time, energy, and emotion
that we direct toward worrying about something or someone -
not whether we are for that something or against it.
However, nothing that we do for fun is ever a "concern."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am the Wizard. This world is mine.
I speak. It's done. My realm is fine.
My wand, my tongue. My sword, my voice.
It's good. It's bad. I speak my choice.
I say happy, or I say mad.
I say angry, or I say glad.
I name that drawing on the wall.
It's not graffiti after all.
The past has been broken. The prison's not real.
My word holds the magic - the power to heal.
Intent is my weapon - a sword from above.
Cruel hate, fear, and anger transmute into love.
This world's my joy. This mouth's my toy.
Reborn -I'm a brand new girl or boy.
I choose. I speak. My will is done.
Come join. Come play. This can be fun.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Flying might not be all plain sailing,
but the fun of it is worth the price.
- Amelia Earhart

The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
- Emo Phillips

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson

A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus

The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

Our chief want is someone who will inspire us
to be what we know we could be.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which
it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters.
- Thomas Jefferson

The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous

The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau

The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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