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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Tuned Quotes
Funny Quotes about Tuned

Let these funny Tuned Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Nurturing is not complex.
It's simply being tuned in to the thing or person before you
and offering small gestures toward what it needs at that time.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves.
But deep down below the surface of the average conscience
a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.
- Carl Jung

Oh my luve is like a red, red rose,
That's newly sprung in June:
Oh my luve is like the melodie,
That's sweetly play'd in tune.
- Robert Burns

I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station,
through which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in.
- George Washington Carver


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Abundance is not something we acquire.
It is something we tune into.
- Wayne Dyer

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing.
The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain


 

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I'm saving that rocker for the day
when I feel as old as I really am.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems,
in my opinion, to characterize our age.
- Albert Einstein

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
- H. L. Mencken

In every country and every age,
the priest had been hostile to Liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
- Albert Einstein

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

Self-respect is not a function of size, age, or wealth.
Breathe deep, sing loud and sweet,
"I am me, I am unique, I am magnificent."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Youth, large, lusty, loving -
Youth, full of grace, force, fascination.
Do you know that Old Age may come after you
with equal grace, force, fascination?
- Walt Whitman

Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty, never grows old.
- Franz Kafka

And in the end, it's not
the years in your life that count,
it's the life in your years.
- Abraham Lincoln

None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm.
- Henry David Thoreau

He who would pass his declining years with honor and comfort,
should, when young, consider that he may one day become old,
and remember when he is old, that he has once been young.
- Joseph Addison

The youth gets together his materials
to build a bridge to the moon,
or, perchance, a palace or temple on the earth,
and, at length, the middle-aged man
concludes to build a woodshed with them.
- Henry David Thoreau

It is never too late to become what you might have been.
- George Eliot

Every formula of every religion has, in this age of reason,
to submit to the acid test of reason and universal assent.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Dreams are renewable no matter what our age.
- Dale Turner

Keep courage. Whatever you do,
do not feel sorry for yourself.
You will win in a great age of opportunity.
- Richard L. Evans

The golden age is before us, not behind us.
- William Shakespeare

The heresy of one age becomes the orthodoxy of the next.
Mere tolerance has given place to a sentiment of brotherhood
between sincere men of all denominations.
- Helen Keller

We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason
if we dig deep in our history and remember
that we are not descended from fearful men,
not from men who feared to write, to speak,
to associate and to defend causes
which were for the moment unpopular.
- Edward R. Murrow

Reading, after a certain age,
diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits.
Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little
falls into lazy habits of thinking.
- Albert Einstein

Habits age men before their time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Age does not protect you from love.
But love, to some extent, protects you from age.
- Anais Nin

It is utterly false and cruelly arbitrary
to put all the play and learning into childhood,
all the work into middle age,
and all the regrets into old age.
- Margaret Mead

The heresy of one age becomes the orthodoxy of the next.
- Helen Keller

Life is to be taken lightly
by those who wish to be happy
and by those who wish to age gracefully.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We prefer world law in the age of self-determination
to world war in the age of mass extermination.
- John F. Kennedy

At twenty years of age the will reigns;
at thirty, the wit;
and at forty, the judgment.
- Benjamin Franklin

Instead of being presented with stereotypes
by age, sex, color, class, or religion,
children must have the opportunity
to learn that within each range,
some people are loathsome and some are delightful.
- Margaret Mead

Naturally, every age thinks that all ages before it were prejudiced,
and today we think this more than ever, and are just as wrong
as all previous ages that thought so.
How often have we not seen the truth condemned!
It is sad but unfortunately true that man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

Each age, it is found, must write its own books;
or rather, each generation for the next succeeding.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every great architect is - necessarily - a great poet.
He must be a great original interpreter
of his time, his day, his age.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

One of the greatest titles we can have is "old friend."
We never appreciate how important old friends are until we are older.
The problem is we need to start our old friendships when we are young.
We then have to nurture and grow those friendships over our middle age
when a busy life and changing geographies
can cause us to neglect those friends.
Today is the day to invest in those people
we hope will call us "old friend" in the years to come.
- Grant Fairley

Probably the happiest period in life
most frequently is in middle age,
when the eager passions of youth are cooled,
and the infirmities of age not yet begun;
as we see that the shadows,
which are at morning and evening so large,
almost entirely disappear at midday.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

Always forgive your enemies -
nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
- Albert Einstein

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes
in the hope of pulling out an eel.
- Leonardo da Vinci

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

Fasten your safety belts, clench your buttocks!
It's going be a bumpy ride!
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

Crazy is walking down the street
with half a cantaloupe on your head,
muttering; "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."
- the movie Spy Hard (1996)

Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Life's a bitch... and then you change your attitude.
- Jennifer Unlimited


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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