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Funny Truths Quotes
Funny Quotes about Truths

Let these funny Truths Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Advertisements contain the only truths
to be relied on in a newspaper.
- Thomas Jefferson

Most truths are so naked
that people feel sorry for them
and cover them up,
at least a little bit.
- Edward R. Murrow

Our compassion and acts of selflessness
take us to the deeper truths.
- Amma

There are trivial truths and there are great truths.
The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
- Niels Bohr


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All great truths begin as blasphemies.
- George Bernard Shaw

The personal life deeply lived
always expands into truths beyond itself.
- Anais Nin

All truths are easy to understand
once they are discovered;
the point is to discover them.
- Galileo Galilei


 

Truths and roses have thorns about them.
- Henry David Thoreau

Quotations help us remember the simple yet profound truths
that give life perspective and meaning.
- Criswell Freeman

We hold these truths to be self-evident:
that all men are created equal;
that they are endowed by their Creator
with certain unalienable rights;
that among these are life, liberty,
and the pursuit of happiness.
- Thomas Jefferson

I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions,
but laws and institutions must go hand in hand
with the progress of the human mind.
As that becomes more developed, more enlightened,
as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered
and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances,
institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times.
- Thomas Jefferson [inscribed in the Jefferson Memorial]

When you are tempted to judge,
may you be reminded that we are ALL ONE,
and that every thought you think reverberates
across the universe touching everyone and everything.
- from the Simple Truths movie May You Be Blessed

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

Truth is stranger than fiction,
but that is because Fiction is obliged
to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
- Mark Twain

Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
- Mark Twain

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
- Will Rogers

The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau

If you're going to tell people the truth,
be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder

The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- Oscar Wilde

Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.
- Stephanie Klein

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks

Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

The rarest quality in an epitaph is truth.
- Henry David Thoreau

If you are out to describe the truth,
leave elegance to the tailor.
- Albert Einstein

Truth is a tendency.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

My way of joking is telling the truth;
that is the funniest joke in the world.
- George Bernard Shaw

Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz

The words of truth are always paradoxical.
- Lao Tzu

Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer

The water in a vessel is sparkling;
the water in the sea is dark.
The small truth has words which are clear;
the great truth has great silence.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde

The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing,
and should be treated with caution.
- J. K. Rowling

When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw

Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am sorry to think that you do not get a man's
most effective criticism until you provoke him.
Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness.
- Henry David Thoreau

Every mind must make its choice
between truth and repose.
It cannot have both.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Intense feeling too often obscures the truth.
- Harry S. Truman

Truth is absolute, but only to one person.
My truth is absolute to me, and your truth is absolute to you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A man must be both stupid and uncharitable
who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side.
- Joseph Addison

The goal of education is the advancement of knowledge
and the dissemination of truth.
- John F. Kennedy

When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth
you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
- Khalil Gibran

We are not afraid to follow truth
wherever it may lead,
nor to tolerate any error
so long as reason is left free to combat it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Our actions are constrained by fear of reprisal,
but our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We take refuge in pride,
because we are afraid to tell the truth to ourselves.
- Kakuzo Okakura

Above all, don't lie to yourself.
The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie
comes to a point that he cannot
distinguish the truth within him, or around him,
and so loses all respect for himself and for others.
- Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Truth is handsomer than the affectation of love.
Your goodness must have some edge to it, else it is none.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

There's a world of difference between truth and facts.
Facts can obscure truth.
- Maya Angelou

Even if you are a minority of one,
the truth is the truth.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I believe in the fundamental truth
of all great religions of the world.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A day spent without the sight or sound of beauty,
the contemplation of mystery,
or the search of truth or perfection
is a poverty-stricken day; and a succession
of such days is fatal to human life.
- Lewis Mumford

Bigotry tries to keep truth safe in its hand
with a grip that kills it.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Beyond a doubt, truth bears the same relation
to falsehood as light to darkness.
- Leonardo da Vinci

We should not pretend to understand the world
only by the intellect.
The judgment of the intellect
is only part of the truth.
- Carl Jung

This is my wish for you:
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Hugs when spirits sag,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Faith so that you can believe,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life.
- Anonymous

It is error alone which needs the support of government.
Truth can stand by itself.
- Thomas Jefferson

Ignorance is preferable to error,
and he is less remote from the truth who believes nothing
than he who believes what is wrong.
- Thomas Jefferson

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement.
But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr

The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz

What people believe prevails over the truth.
- Sophocles

In matters of truth and justice,
there is no difference between large and small problems,
for issues concerning the treatment of people are all the same.
- Albert Einstein

'Tis strange - but true;
for truth is always strange;
Stranger than fiction.
- Lord Byron

Truth is by nature self-evident.
As soon as you remove the cobwebs of ignorance
that surround it, it shines clear.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

In a controversy, the instant we feel anger
we have already ceased striving for the truth,
and have begun striving for ourselves.
- The Buddha

The search for truth is more precious than its possession.
- Albert Einstein

He who knows nothing is closer to the truth
than he whose mind is filled with falsehoods and errors.
- Thomas Jefferson


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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