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Funny Troubles Quotes
Funny Quotes about Troubles

Let these funny Troubles Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The cleansing fire of Spirit
consumes the troubles of this world.
Feed your concerns to the fire.
Breathe deeply and rejoice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have often wanted to drown my troubles,
but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Anonymous

The Ought-To Need-To Tango:
I am racked with the guilt and the pain of I should,
and I ought, and I can't, but I must.
I can't rest; I can't sleep; I'm just not understood,
and I hate that the world is unjust.
I have work; I have woes; I have troubles for life;
but I don't have a ME that I trust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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Like a bird in flight, your life can soar
above the troubles of the world.
Breathe deep, choose, and break the shackles of your past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Know the power of ritual.
Release your troubles to the cleansing fire of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Like an Eagle, May You Always Soar
High Above the Troubles of the World.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

Smiling away your troubles requires
a clear conscience that harbors no insincerity.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

Today, I Release All My Troubles To The Cleansing Fire.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today I Release All My Troubles And Grief.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Count your blessings - not your troubles.
- Dale Carnegie

I Feed All My Troubles To The Cleansing Fire.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Like an Eagle, I Soar High Above the Troubles of the World.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Move to your heart, Breathe.
Close your eyes and breathe deeply - slowly -
fill your lungs with love and gratitude -
exhale each and every trouble -
again and again - gratitude in, troubles out.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Release your burdens - your fears, regrets,
guilts, shames, embarrassments, angers.
One by one, pick up each memory or fear that troubles you,
hold it close, and release it to the Universe.
Release each incident from your past that still bothers you.
Release each fear - your fears about your health,
your family, your job, and every other fear.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you have never experienced the practice
of daily journaling, give it a try. I highly recommend it.
When I say "journaling," I am not referring to a diary
in which to record the events of your life,
I am talking about a place to record your feelings -
a friend with whom to share your troubles, fears, hopes, and dreams.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Perspective:
Do you always look at life from the same point-of-view?
Consider viewing a situation as another might view it.
Look from behind, underneath, from the distant heavens.
View the situation as someone of a different religion,
race, or nationality might view it.
Pretend you are an alien from a distant galaxy -
that should be good for a laugh.
Troubles only appear troubling to those close to them.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

Every religion is true one way or another.
It is true when understood metaphorically.
But when it gets stuck in its own metaphors,
interpreting them as facts, then you are in trouble.
- Joseph Campbell

Nobody, as long as he moves about
among the chaotic currents of life,
is without trouble.
- Carl Jung

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

The trouble is,
if you don't risk anything,
you risk even more.
- Erica Jong

Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone;
For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

A quotation is a handy thing to have about,
saving one the trouble of thinking for oneself.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Do not anticipate trouble,
or worry about what may never happen.
Keep in the sunlight.
- Benjamin Franklin

Do not trouble yourself much
to get new things, whether clothes or friends...
Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.
- Henry David Thoreau

Friends are angels who lift us to our feet
when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.
- Anonymous

When trouble arises and things look bad,
there is always one individual who perceives a solution
and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.
- Dave Barry

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction
is better and greater than a "Yes" merely uttered to please,
or what is worse, to avoid trouble.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Worry is the interest paid by those who borrow trouble.
- George Washington

From behind the Iron Curtain, there are signs that tyranny
is in trouble and reminders that its structure
is as brittle as its surface is hard.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

When I look back on all these worries,
I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed
that he had had a lot of trouble in his life,
most of which had never happened.
- Winston Churchill

I love those who can smile in trouble,
who can gather strength from distress,
and grow brave by reflection.
- Leonardo da Vinci

My God, this is a hell of a job. I have no trouble with my enemies.
I can take care of my enemies all right.
But my damn friends, my goddamn friends.
They're the ones that keep me walking the floor at night.
- Warren G. Harding

Unless we form the habit of going to the Bible
in bright moments as well as in trouble,
we cannot fully respond to its consolations
because we lack equilibrium between light and darkness.
- Helen Keller

There is a secret wisdom-of-the-ages
that holds the key to breaking our
cycle of self-imposed suffering.
The secret wisdom is, "Life is not supposed to be fair."
This is not sad news. This is GLORIOUS news!
Life is not broken. Nothing is wrong.
God has not failed, died, or gone on vacation.
The world is working perfectly. We just misunderstood.
Somewhere along the way, someone got the idea that
life was "supposed" to be "fair,"
and all the trouble started -
expectation, disappointment, resentment, anger -
a whole cycle of suffering that began
with the belief that life is "supposed" to be "fair."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Cry for the souls of the angry,
for they sleep the troubled sleep of the damned.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The self-assured believer is a greater sinner
in the eyes of God than the troubled disbeliever
- Soren Kierkegaard

A mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled.
- Emily Dickinson

Happiness is not being pained in body, or troubled in mind.
- Thomas Jefferson

It cannot be wisdom to assert the truth of one faith over another.
In our troubled world so full of contradictions,
the wise person makes justice his guide and learns from all.
- Akbar the Great (1542-1605)

For me, the most powerful expressions of true Christianity
in this material world are an unconditional love of all humans,
and an uncompromising commitment to caring for all
who are sick, infirm, or troubled -
as expressed in the biblical story of the Good Samaritan.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Those who don't know how to weep with their whole heart,
don't know how to laugh either
- Golda Meir

Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth -
look at the dying man's struggle at his last extremity,
and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus
could be intended for enjoyment.
- Soren Kierkegaard

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.
- Leslie Gore

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
- Anonymous

There is a time to cry for those we have lost,
and there is a time to wipe the tears and smile again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When a father gives to his son, both laugh;
when a son gives to his father, both cry.
- William Shakespeare

Be avid.
Create apart from perfection.
Risk failure.
Cover your words with sweat.
Run a little
Touch excruciatingly.
Laugh until you cry.
Dance with your eyes closed.
Care.
Understand you die a little in every moment.
Be Enlivened
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life,
your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.
- Rabindranath Tagore

A loving relationship is one in which
the loved one is free to be himself -
to laugh with me, but never at me;
to cry with me, but never because of me;
to love life, to love himself,
to love being loved.
Such a relationship is based upon freedom
and can never grow in a jealous heart.
- Leo F. Buscaglia

In most communities it is illegal
to cry "fire" in a crowded assembly.
Should it not be considered serious international misconduct
to manufacture a general war scare
in an effort to achieve local political aims?
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

You always feel better when you sing.
Music touches people's hearts.
You know, it doesn't go through your mental capacity,
it just moves you and it will let you cry.
It's worth it doing a show
and when you touch a crowd
and move yourself at the same
- Jewel

When you cry and weep,
when you are miserable,
you are alone.
When you celebrate,
the whole existence participates with you.
Only in celebration
do we meet the ultimate, the eternal.
Only in celebration
do we go beyond the circle of birth and death.
- Osho

If you do not breathe through writing,
if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing,
then don't write, because our culture has no use for it.
- Anais Nin

I Did Not Die
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain,
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
- Anonymous

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

Those who have free seats at a play hiss first.
- Chinese Proverb

In those days he was wiser than he is now;
he used to frequently take my advice.
- Winston Churchill

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

Beauty is an outward gift,
which is seldom despised,
except by those to whom it has been refused.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
- Terry Pratchett

Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek

It ain't those parts of the Bible
that I can't understand that bother me,
it is the parts that I do understand.
- Mark Twain

The future belongs to those
who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Advice is seldom welcome,
and those who need it the most, like it the least.
- Lord Chesterfield

Things may come to those who wait,
but only the things left by those who hustle.
- Abraham Lincoln


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.