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Let these funny Tragedy Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks
Life is not a tragedy, it is a comedy.
To be alive means to have a sense of humor.
- Osho
In human intercourse the tragedy begins,
not when there is misunderstanding about words,
but when silence is not understood.
- Henry David Thoreau
The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon,
but that we wait so long to begin it.
- Anonymous
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The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives.
- Albert Schweitzer
There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child.
Things never get back to the way they were.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression
and cruelty by the bad people
but the silence over that by the good people.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The courage of life is often a less dramatic spectacle
than the courage of a final moment;
but it is no less a magnificent mixture of triumph and tragedy.
- John F. Kennedy
History will have to record that the greatest tragedy
of this period of social transition
was not the strident clamor of the bad people,
but the appalling silence of the good people.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
You have a choice about the perspective you take on life.
See tragedy, and the world is tragic -
see beauty, and the world is beautiful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal.
The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.
- Benjamin E. Mays
The effort to understand the universe is one
of the very few things that lifts human life
a little above the level of farce,
and gives it some of the grace of tragedy.
- Steven Weinberg
The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation
Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom.
- Rabindranath Tagore
We must be free not because we claim freedom,
but because we practice it.
- William Faulkner
I claim that human mind or human society
is not divided into watertight compartments
called social, political and religious.
All act and react upon one another.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I claim to be a simple individual liable
to err like any other fellow mortal.
I own, however, that I have humility enough
to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
We are born at a given moment, in a given place and,
like vintage years of wine, we have the qualities of the year
and of the season of which we are born.
Astrology does not lay claim to anything more.
- Carl Jung
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard
Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West
True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings
I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner
Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous
Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Know the power and the peace of saying,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- Anonymous
A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
Love Without Limits.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Beauty is the bait which with delight
allures man to enlarge his kind.
- Socrates
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.