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Let these funny Touched Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Look at this butterfly, so beautiful, so delicate.
I can enjoy this butterfly from a distance,
but if I touched her, she would die.
While not quite as delicate as butterflies,
people also need private space and private time
away from the demands of the world -
even away from the attentions of those
with whom they are most bonded.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The most beautiful things in the world
cannot be seen or even touched,
they must be felt with the heart.
- Helen Keller
The best and most beautiful things in the world
cannot be seen or even touched.
They must be felt with the heart.
- Helen Keller
One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers,
but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings.
The curriculum is so much necessary raw material,
but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant
and for the soul of the child.
- Carl Jung
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By giving us the opinions of the uneducated,
journalism keeps us in touch
with the ignorance of the community.
- Oscar Wilde
Powerful Dreams Inspire Powerful Action.
When you can taste, smell, and touch your dreams,
you can enroll the world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I seldom think about my limitations,
and they never make me sad.
Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times;
but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
- Helen Keller
May your life always be Counterpoint to the Clamor of the World.
May you delight in Dancing Lightly With Life.
May you soar on eagle wings, high above the madness of the world.
May you always sing Melody in the Symphony of Your Life.
May you taste, smell, and touch your dreams of a beautiful tomorrow.
May your sun always shine, and your sky be forever blue.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Touch me in the morning
Then just walk away
We don't have tomorrow
But we had yesterday
- Ron Miller/Michael Masser
When you lose touch with yourself,
you lose yourself in the world.
- Eckhart Tolle
Let us touch the dying, the poor,
the lonely and the unwanted
according to the graces we have received
and let us not be ashamed
or slow to do the humble work.
- Mother Teresa
May you taste, smell, and touch
your dreams of a beautiful tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Friends share our pain and touch our wounds
with a gentle and tender hand.
- Henri Nouwen
Ambition has one heel nailed in well,
though she stretch her fingers to touch the heavens.
- Lao Tzu
If humanity does not opt for integrity we are through completely.
It is absolutely touch and go.
Each one of us could make the difference.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Love is like a beautiful flower
which I may not touch,
but whose fragrance makes the garden
a place of delight just the same.
- Helen Keller
What is our family?
We touch our full hearts and see ourselves
reflected whole in each other's eyes.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Only from the heart can you touch the sky.
- Rumi
Most people give up just when
they're about to achieve success.
They quit on the one yard line.
They give up at the last minute of the game,
one foot from a winning touch down.
- Ross Perot
If we spend the time we waste in sighing
for the perfect golden fruit
in fulfilling the conditions of its growth,
happiness will come, must come.
It is guaranteed in the very laws of the universe.
If it involves some chastening and renunciation, well,
the fruit will be all the sweeter for this touch of holiness.
- Helen Keller
In rivers, the water that you touch
is the last of what has passed
and the first of that which comes;
so with present time.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Our "Rainbows and Butterflies" are the small miracles of our life -
the little things that are so easy to overlook,
yet so awe inspiring when we take a moment
to notice and to pay attention.
Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh,
for the touch of a hand and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I try to give to the poor people for love
what the rich could get for money.
No, I wouldn't touch a leper for a thousand pounds;
yet I willingly cure him for the love of God.
- Mother Teresa
One touch of nature makes the whole world kin.
- William Shakespeare
Be avid.
Create apart from perfection.
Risk failure.
Cover your words with sweat.
Run a little
Touch excruciatingly.
Laugh until you cry.
Dance with your eyes closed.
Care.
Understand you die a little in every moment.
Be Enlivened
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex...
It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage
to move in the opposite direction.
- Albert Einstein
Why live?
Adding one to my count of days, or postponing
a feared death by another day do not inspire me.
I live to experience something new each day -
to learn something new, meet a new friend,
bring joy into someone's life,
feel the wind newly on my skin,
touch a new fear, a new anger,
and with focused intent and good fortune,
find an ample measure of my own joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself,
and know that everything in life has purpose.
There are no mistakes, no coincidences,
all events are blessings given to us to learn from.
- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
We need to find God, and he cannot
be found in noise and restlessness.
God is the friend of silence.
See how nature - trees, flowers, grass-
grows in silence; see the stars,
the moon and the sun, how they move in silence...
We need silence to be able to touch souls.
- Mother Teresa
You always feel better when you sing.
Music touches people's hearts.
You know, it doesn't go through your mental capacity,
it just moves you and it will let you cry.
It's worth it doing a show
and when you touch a crowd
and move yourself at the same
- Jewel
I live to experience something new each day -
to learn something new,
meet a new friend,
bring joy into someone's life,
feel the wind newly on my skin,
touch a new fear, a new anger,
and with focused intent and good fortune,
find an ample measure of my own joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch,
a smile, a kind word, a listening ear,
an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring,
all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
- Leo Buscaglia
There is no doubt that life can be a bumpy ride.
But so were those roller coasters you loved as a kid.
Savor the adventure.
Find excitement in the uncertainty and the constant change.
Even let a touch of fear add spice to your life -
as you did on that roller coaster.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I will dance a little.
I will move with the wind.
I will give my body to my love and celebrate
that we have substance beyond the idea of ourselves.
We can move. We can touch. This is my physical exclamation point.
This is how I can awaken my mind to the possibilities in the day.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
When you are eating, eat totally -
chew totally, taste totally, smell totally.
Touch your bread, feel the texture.
Smell the bread, smell the flavor.
Chew it, let it dissolve into your being,
and remain conscious - and you are meditating.
And then meditation is not separate from life.
- Osho
Do the small things of life with a relaxed awareness.
When you are eating, eat totally -
chew totally, taste totally, smell totally.
Touch your bread, feel the texture.
Smell the bread, smell the flavor.
Chew it, let it dissolve into your being.
- Osho
Each of us is of infinite value,
and each of us has the ability to make
a profound difference in the lives we touch.
We leave our most profoundly positive impact
on those around us by the nature of our lives
and the example we set -
not by how busy we are,
or how important we believe we are.
Setting an example of being loving, relaxed and joyful,
regardless of external circumstances,
is a great legacy for our family and for the world.
Self importance - ego - is not a path to happiness.
Focusing one's whole life on responsibilities,
without taking time for self-renewal and play,
abandons the joy and the true value of life.
I want my tombstone to read, "Inspired others,"
rather than, "Never missed a day at the office."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The holiday season promotes
a heightened sense of community.
It draws our chins up and
helps us look above and over
the limiting fence of our own events,
activities and preoccupations.
The opportunity for a heroic gesture
can tap you quietly on the shoulder
in the midst of a holiday bustle.
If you are attentive,
you will notice the gentle touch
and will be able to respond. Remember...
There are no small acts of kindness.
Every compassionate act makes large the world.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Each man's life touches so many other lives.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
The finest workers in stone are not copper or steel tools,
but the gentle touches of air and water
working at their leisure with a liberal allowance of time.
- Henry David Thoreau
The Master teaches that the way of qigong cannot be hurried.
Wuji refers to the time before the creation -
when everything was formless.
Standing in the wuji position, my feet are parallel
to each other, shoulder-width apart.
My knees are slightly bent,
and the tip of my tongue touches the roof of my mouth.
My arms are held in front of me with my elbows bent
and my palms parallel to each other - about four inches apart.
At first I focus on my breathing, and only my breathing.
Later, I visualize the energy or "Qi" between my palms.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When you are tempted to judge,
may you be reminded that we are ALL ONE,
and that every thought you think reverberates
across the universe touching everyone and everything.
- from the Simple Truths movie May You Be Blessed
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)
When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin
He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.