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Let these funny Tones Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The best of a book is not the thought which it contains,
but the thought which it suggests;
just as the charm of music dwells not in the tones
but in the echoes of our hearts.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes
"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone,
"it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
- Lewis Carroll
My definition of success is to live your life in a way
that causes you to feel a ton of pleasure and very little pain -
and because of your lifestyle, have the people around you feel
a lot more pleasure than they do pain.
- Tony Robbins
An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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We can change our lives.
We can do, have, and be exactly what we wish.
- Tony Robbins
Successful people ask better questions,
and as a result, they get better answers.
- Tony Robbins
Once you have mastered time,
you will understand how true it is that
most people overestimate what
they can accomplish in a year -
and underestimate what
they can achieve in a decade!
- Tony Robbins
I challenge you to make your life a masterpiece.
I challenge you to join the ranks of those people
who live what they teach, who walk their talk.
- Tony Robbins
Stay committed to your decisions,
but stay flexible in your approach.
- Tony Robbins
If you ask a stupid question, you may feel stupid;
if you don't ask a stupid question, you remain stupid.
- Tony Rothman
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you've always gotten.
- Tony Robbins (quoting Mark Twain)
The path to success is to take massive, determined action.
- Tony Robbins
It is not what we get.
But who we become, what we contribute...
that gives meaning to our lives.
- Tony Robbins
People are not lazy.
They simply have impotent goals -
that is, goals that do not inspire them.
- Tony Robbins
To succeed, you need to find
something to hold on to,
something to motivate you,
something to inspire you.
- Tony Dorsett
Sometimes it is better to lose
and do the right thing
than to win and do the wrong thing.
- Tony Blair
Only those who have learned the power
of sincere and selfless contribution
experience life's deepest joy: true fulfillment.
- Tony Robbins
Whatever happens, take responsibility.
- Tony Robbins
An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
- Benjamin Franklin
An ounce of conscious choice is worth a pound of good fortune.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Prevention is better than cure.
- Desiderius Erasmus
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II
For my part, I consider that it will be found much better
by all parties to leave the past to history,
especially as I propose to write that history myself.
- Winston Churchill
Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill
Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool,
than to speak and remove all doubt.
- sometimes attributed to Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln, or Samuel Johnson
Which form of proverb do you prefer
Better late than never, or Better never than late?
- Lewis Carroll
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan
It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington
It's better to burn out, than to fade away.
- Neil Young
Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
As a cure for worrying,
work is better than whiskey.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I always avoid prophesying beforehand,
because it is a much better policy to prophesy
after the event has already taken place.
- Winston Churchill
People living their lives for you on TV;
They say they're better than you, and you agree.
- Jewel
Anger? perhaps there is a better way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
Our faith gives us knowledge of something better.
- E. F. Schumacher
It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
- Chinese proverb often quoted by Eleanor Roosevelt
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
- Alfred Lord Tennyson
How could youths better learn to live
than by at once trying the experiment of living?
- Henry David Thoreau
At the end of a matter ask,
"What will I learn from this to make me better?"
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The River of Life has no meaning,
no good, no bad, no better, no worse,
no love, no hate, no fear, no anger, no joy.
The River of Life has no judgment, no expectation.
The River of Life just IS.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children,
to leave the world a better place,
to know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived,
this is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Discretion is the better part of valor.
(originally "The better part of valor is discretion")
- William Shakespeare
Sometimes, indeed, there is such a discrepancy
between the genius and his human qualities
that one has to ask oneself whether
a little less talent might not have been better.
- Carl Jung
Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch
Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel
A bad peace is better than a good war.
- Yiddish Proverb
Why, I'd like nothing better than to achieve
some bold adventure, worthy of our trip.
- Aristophanes
I don't like that man.
I must get to know him better.
- Abraham Lincoln
Better learn balance. Balance is key.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
Sometimes good things fall apart
so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
Build a better mousetrap
and the world will beat a path to your door.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is better to learn late than never.
- Publilius Syrus
Better keep yourself clean and bright;
you are the window through which
you must see the world.
- George Bernard Shaw
It is better to have your head in the clouds,
and know where you are...
than to breathe the clearer atmosphere below them,
and think that you are in paradise.
- Henry David Thoreau
Every creature is better alive than dead,
men and moose and pine trees,
and he who understands it aright
will rather preserve its life than destroy it.
- Henry David Thoreau
Don't bother just to be better than
your contemporaries or predecessors.
Try to be better than yourself.
- William Faulkner
Be careful to leave your sons well instructed rather than rich,
for the hopes of the instructed
are better than the wealth of the ignorant.
- Epictetus
I like the silent church before the service begins,
better than any preaching.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army.
- Edward Everett
The "stories" we choose to tell about our past
are never what a video camera would have recorded.
We can tell a sad story or a happy story,
and neither story is either
more accurate or "better" than the other story.
The difference is that one story causes us to suffer,
while the other brings us joy. I choose joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Patience, persistence, and perseverance.
A little more each day, a little better each day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
With realization of one's own potential and
self-confidence in one's ability,
one can build a better world.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.