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Funny Thanksgiving Quotes
Funny Quotes about Thanksgiving

Let these funny Thanksgiving Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our opportunity is to Soar our Spirit.
To see Light and Joy in everything.
To spread our wings and fly boldly.
To give thanks for rainbows and butterflies -
our symbols of renewal and rebirth.
To offer daily Thanksgiving - for ourselves, our family,
our friends, our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

For food that stays our hunger,
For rest that brings us ease,
For homes where memories linger,
We give our thanks for these.
- Anonymous


 

I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving
for my friends, the old and the new.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.
- Irv Kupcinet

As we join hands in fellowship
around this bountiful table,
we give thanks for the blessings of this food
and the love of these friends
as a symbol of our gratitude
for all the manifold blessings of this life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Let Today be a Thanksgiving.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare.
They are consumed in twelve minutes.
Half-times take twelve minutes.
This is not coincidence.
- Erma Bombeck

Honor True Self
Forgive with Compassion
Receive ALL of life with Thanksgiving
CHOOSE with Thoughtful Consideration
Dream with Powerful Vision
Act with Bold Courage
Dance with a Light Heart
Relax in the Arms of Spirit
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

For me, one of the greatest things about living in the United States
is that we have a national holiday - Thanksgiving Day -
dedicated to honoring gratitude.
Having gratitude is one of the keys to a happy life.
Let every day be a day of profound thanksgiving.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My favorite meal is turkey and mashed potatoes.
I love Thanksgiving, it's just my favorite.
I can have Thanksgiving all year round.
- Cindy Margolis

Thanksgiving is nothing but a toast to genocide.
- Stephen Evans

There is one day that is ours.
Thanksgiving Day is the one day that is purely American.
- O. Henry

Thanksgiving is a season that is very much in accord
with the themes and teachings of Jesus Christ.
- John Clayton

Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received.
Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling.
Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.
- Henry Van Dyke

Thanksgiving, man.
Not a good day to be my pants.
- Kevin James

Best of all is it to preserve everything in a pure,
still heart, and let there be for every pulse a thanksgiving,
and for every breath a song.
- Konrad von Gesner

Christmas is the antithesis of Thanksgiving.
Christmas is pretty much a man-made holiday.
- John Clayton

My whole problem is that all of my favorite things
at Thanksgiving are the starches,
and everyone is trying to go low-carb this year,
even a green vegetable has carbs in it.
- Ted Allen

It is now common knowledge that the average American
gains 7 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day.
- Marilu Henner

If you think Independence Day is America's defining holiday,
think again.
Thanksgiving deserves that title, hands-down.
- Tony Snow

I love chicken.
I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable.
- Todd Barry

The act is unjustifiable that either begs for a blessing,
or, having succeeded gives no thanksgiving.
- Merle Shain

Even though we're a week and a half away from Thanksgiving,
it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
- Richard Roeper

On this day, as on every day,
we Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving.
We have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring us to this moment.
We give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of our courage
and the cold sweat of our fear.
We accept gratefully the entirety
of our past and our present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was
to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
- Phyllis Diller

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way.
I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house,
we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
- Jon Stewart

Dear Lord; we beg but one boon more:
Peace in the hearts of all men living,
peace in the whole world this Thanksgiving.
- Joseph Auslander

Christians were instructed to serve others,
and the thanksgiving was for the grace of God and the
fact that God offered a way for man to return to a
positive relationship with Him.
- John Clayton

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early -
is it just me,
or does it not really feel like Ramadan?
- David Letterman

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not
carving the turkey in the kitchen.
- Kin Hubbard

The truth is the Super Bowl long ago became more than just a football game.
It's part of our culture like turkey at Thanksgiving and lights at Christmas,
and like those holidays beyond their meaning,
a factor in our economy.
- Bob Schieffer

Pride slays thanksgiving, but an humble mind is the
soil out of which thanks naturally grow.
A proud man is seldom a grateful man,
for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves.
- Henry Ward Beecher

There is no racial or ethnic involvement in Thanksgiving,
and people who may be very distant from the Christian
system can see the beauty and the positive spirit that comes from the holiday.
- John Clayton

Thanksgiving is a time when the world gets to see just
how blessed and how workable the Christian system is.
The emphasis is not on giving or buying,
but on being thankful and expressing that appreciation
to God and to one another.
- John Clayton

It's like being at the kids' table at Thanksgiving -
you can put your elbows on it,
you don't have to talk politics...
no matter how old I get, there's always a part of me that's sitting there.
- John Hughes

Always expect the unexpected.
Right around Thanksgiving, when the new Alex Cross will be out.
It's called Four Blind Mice and it's a pretty amazing
story about several murders inside the military.
- James Patterson

From too much love of living, From hope and fear set free,
We thank with brief thanksgiving Whatever gods may
be That no life lives for ever;
That dead men rise up never; That even the weariest
river Winds somewhere safe to sea.
- Algernon Charles Swinburne

On Thanksgiving I will stop to give thanks that my
family is safe and healthy,
especially because I realize that, following the tragedies of this year,
it is all too real a possibility that they might not have been.
- Bobby Jindal

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde

All gods are homemade, and it is we who pull their strings,
and so, give them the power to pull ours.
- Aldous Huxley

Give me the luxuries of life
and I will willingly do without the necessities.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

He who can take advice is sometimes superior
to him who can give it.
- Erica Jong

Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

It is more agreeable to have the power to give than to receive.
- Winston Churchill

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Anonymous

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every spirit makes its house,
and we can give a shrewd guess
from the house to the inhabitant.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill

Give me your tired, your poor,
your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.
- written on the Statue of Liberty in New York harbor

Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Poets have said that the reason to have children is
to give yourself immortality.
Immortality? Now that I have five children,
my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.
- Bill Cosby

Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln

Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
- Dale Carnegie

Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde

One can not reflect in streaming water.
Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.
- Lao Tzu

Give thanks for the rain in your life
which waters the flowers of your soul.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break

I give thanks for both my bloom and my thorns.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We all have our thorns. We, and Life, have our moments.
Life occurs before our morning coffee.
Life occurs in our bathrobe with our hair uncombed.
Bless and give thanks for All of Life - the bloom and the thorns.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I won't give up 'til goats sing and walruses fly.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.