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Funny Thank God Quotes
Funny Quotes about Thank God

Let these funny Thank God Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau

Not for nothing is their motto TGIF -
'Thank God It's Friday.' They live for the weekends,
when they can go do what they really want to do.
- Richard Nelson Bolles

It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died.
Rather we should thank God that such men lived.
- George S. Patton

Thank you, God, for this good life
and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
- Garrison Keillor


 

I thank you God for this most amazing day,
for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and for the blue dream of sky
and for everything which is natural,
which is infinite, which is yes.
- e. e. cummings

All pro sports, as well as the NCAA,
should thank God every day we have sports betting here...
We have the only agency in the world that regulates the honesty of games.
- Meyer Lansky

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past.
Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.
- Brooks Atkinson


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I just thank God I can make a living doing something
I enjoy as much as I do playing music.
- Charlie Daniels

The folks in Mississippi are saying,
'Thank God for Texas.'
- Kinky Friedman

Thank God we're not like America: everyone wants to look like they're 20.
In Europe we admire grown-up women.
I think men revere older women.
- Francesca Annis

Sometimes I thank God...
for cheeseburgers.
- Garth Brooks

Whenever I see his finger nails, I thank God I don't
have to look at his feet.
- Athene Seyler

Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said,
'Thank God, I'm still alive.' But, of course,
those who died, their lives will never be the same again.
- Barbara Boxer

I can say, Christ has been my only object;
thank God,
my righteousness too...
Hold fast to Christ.
- John Nelson Darby

I am as bad as the worst, but, thank God,
I am as good as the best.
- Walt Whitman

Thank God for the theater.
- Raul Julia

We don't thrive on military acts.
We do them because we have to, and thank God we are efficient.
- Golda Meir

I thank God for my handicaps, for through them,
I have found myself, my work and my God.
- Helen Keller

God gives us our relatives, thank God we can choose our friends.
- Ethel Watts Mumford

I thank God, Jesus, and my Grandmother for being able
to support myself and my family.
- Steven Adler

Thank God I never got in a fight.
All of the jock dudes hated me, but all of their girlfriends
thought I was nice so they wouldn't touch me.
It was infuriating to them.
- Mark Hoppus

Now I can do no more.
We must trust to the Great Disposer of all events and
the justice of our cause.
I thank God for this opportunity of doing my duty.
- Horatio Nelson

Thank god, and now all I have are, twenty one years together,
in January and, you know, I, you know I forgot this all about things.
And anyway the first place is good thing.
- Olga Korbut

Then hast our the Red Stone perfect with less labour,
expense of time and costs, for the which ever thank God.
- George Ripley

You know, you have to put bread on the table.
So you thank God you got the job.
- Gavin MacLeod

God gives us relatives; thank God, we can choose our friends.
- Addison Mizner

Thank God I had all these family values or who knows where I'd be now.
- Patricia Velasquez

Thank God every morning when you get up that you have
something to do that day,
which must be done, whether you like it or not.
- James Russell Lowell

Thank God for beautiful songs about feeling despair
when you yourself are in despair.
They really get us through.
- Susannah McCorkle

God bless America.
God save the Queen.
God defend New Zealand and thank Christ for Australia.
- Russell Crowe

Like other revolutionaries I can thank God for the reactionaries.
They clarify the issue.
- Robin G. Collingwood

I wouldn't have dared ask God for all that He's given me.
I couldn't have done it on my own.
I thank God every day for what I have.
- Loretta Lynn

I thank God for making me a man.
- Little Richard

There are people who are uncanny, who are finished products at a young age.
I wasn't, thank God.
- Itzhak Perlman

We ought to thank God for that.
Yes, the man who tills the land is more worthy of respect than any.
- Nikolai Gogol

I will thank God for the day and the moment I have.
- Jim Valvano

I have enough love to last me a lifetime!
Thank God I'll never lose my imagination and my passion.
That's really what it is.
I'm still passionate about what I do.
- Teena Marie

To race Formula three is very high risk and I am not going to take a chance.
Thank god I am not doing it!
- Emerson Fittipaldi

Thank God for the journey.
- James Brown

Thank God for your mother.
- David O. Selznick

The room where I am lodging is stupendous.
Thank God I am as fit as a fiddle.
- Pietro Mascagni

You know what, I'm probably one of the most blessed
people there's ever been,
and I thank God for it.
- Smokey Robinson

My family was loving...
they were very supportive and very affectionate,
and basically I could do what I wanted,
and basically it wasn't anything dangerous,
thank God.
- Bob Balaban

I thank my God for graciously granting me the opportunity
of learning that death is the key which unlocks the
door to our true happiness.
- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

I hit rock bottom, but thank God my bottom wasn't death.
- Stevie Ray Vaughan

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today.
Have you used one to say "thank you?"
- William Arthur Ward

I'm actually an evil bastard in real life.
Fark allows me to vent weirdness.
Thank god for that, too.
- Drew Curtis

The Poles do not know how to hate, thank God.
- Stefan Wyszynski

Thank God, it is over, that I have seen it and am able to tell it to the world.
- George Catlin

First, I have to thank God for giving me the gift that
he did as well as a second chance for a better life.
- Oksana Baiul

My best efforts were some modern things that looked
like very lousy Matisses.
Thank God I had the sense to realize they were lousy,
and leave Paris.
- Norman Rockwell

God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends.
- Ethel Watts Mumford

Film is a lark to me - thank God I don't have to make a living from it.
- Huey Lewis

Humans love truth and justice, and rejoice in ceremonies
that honor those qualities.
For that sentiment we should indeed thank God.
- Alfred Day Hershey

Thank God for little miracles, right?
- Michael Bergin

The sheik is, thank God, still alive and this hurts
Bush who promised to his people to kill Osama.
- Mohammed Omar

I have lived to thank God that all my prayers have not been answered.
- Jean Ingelow

Today we thank God for all the blessings He has bestowed
upon this great Country and ask Him to continue to
heal our land and meet our needs -
and we do so through the power of prayer.
- Nick Rahall

I'm officially middle-aged.
I don't need drugs anymore, thank God.
I can get the same effect just by standing up real fast.
- Jonathan Katz

Let your children be as so many flowers,
borrowed from God.
If the flowers die or wither, thank God for a summer loan of them.
- Samuel Rutherford

Now I meet people with full-color Wolverine tattoos on their backs.
Thank God I did okay, because I think if I hadn't,
they'd spit on me in the street.
- Hugh Jackman

Clothes, thank God I can get them from designers.
- Patricia Velasquez

Beethoven can write music, thank God,
but he can do nothing else on earth.
- Ludwig van Beethoven

I haven't had that many weird encounters with fans,
thank God.
- Vin Diesel

In closing, let me just thank God, on the floor of the House,
for not turning away from us even though we seem to
be turning away from Him.
- Zach Wamp

When you solve a problem, you ought to thank God and go on to the next one.
- David Dean Rusk

Thank God I'm an atheist.
- Luis Bunuel

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.
- John Waters

Thank God we're going to try to continue and effectively
defend our frontiers with the Border Patrol,
with the Customs Department, with the Coast Guard,
with the Armed Forces.
- Barry McCaffrey

I thank God tonight for freedom - those who bought
and paid for it with their lives in the past -
those who will protect it in the present and defend it in the future.
- Jim Gibbons

Every morning I wake up and thank God.
- Aaron Neville


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