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Let these funny Television Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
If everyone demanded peace
instead of another television set,
then there'd be peace.
- John Lennon
Television is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Woody Allen
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Martyrs cannot be silenced.
- the television show Star Trek: The Next Generation
Is it bigger than breadbox?
- the early television show Twenty Questions
In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek
Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek
The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation
Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series
I was so jazzed about sobering up
and starting a new life;
I had to stop at a bar
to get a drink just to calm down.
- the television series Glee
Thanks to television, for the first time
the young are seeing history made
before it is censored by their elders.
- Margaret Mead
I can think of nothing more boring for the American people
than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour
looking at my face on their television screens.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Where there is no emotion,
there is no motive for violence.
- the character Spock in the Star Trek television series
Humans do have an amazing capacity
for believing what they choose,
and excluding that which is painful.
- Spock (character in Star Trek television series)
To deny the facts would be illogical.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek
You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)
Everyone is a genius at least once a year;
a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
- Georg Lichtenberg
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love.
The real miracle is the love that inspires them.
In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
- A Course in Miracles
FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real.
- Neale Donald Walsch
Real excellence and humility are
not incompatible one with the other,
on the contrary they are twin sisters.
- Jean Baptiste Lacordaire
FEAR is an acronym in the English language
for "False Evidence Appearing Real."
- Neale Donald Walsch
The only real valuable thing is intuition.
- Albert Einstein
The Book of Life is a Book of Riddles,
with its Real Lessons Writ Small in the Margins.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When our thoughts - which bring actions -
are filled with hate against anyone, Negro or white,
we are in a living hell.
That is as real as hell will ever be.
- George Washington Carver
Each one has to find his peace from within.
And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Where ignorance is our master,
there is no possibility of real peace.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
A real friend is one who walks in
when the rest of the world walks out.
- Walter Winchell
Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
- Confucius
If we are to teach real peace in this world,
and if we are to carry on a real war against war,
we shall have to begin with the children.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Real love is accepting other people the way they are
without trying to change them.
- don Miguel Ruiz
The making of friends, who are real friends,
is the best token we have of a man's success in life.
- Edward Everett Hale
Society is a masked ball,
where every one hides his real character,
and reveals it by hiding.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
America did not invent human rights.
In a very real sense, it is the other way around.
Human rights invented America.
- Jimmy Carter
This isn't a rehearsal or a practice life.
This is your real life - your one and only real life.
There are no retakes - no second chances.
Begin now - live full out.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What is real is beyond all reach.
- Julian Green
The real us is pure love, pure light
- don Miguel Ruiz
The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows.
- The Buddha
Dispassionate objectivity is itself a passion,
for the real and for the truth.
- Abraham Maslow
Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow.
The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.
- Abraham Lincoln
Love: if you have to ask,
it's not the real thing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
My vision of a real humanity is of pure individuals
relating to each other, but not tied in any relationship.
They will be loving to each other,
but not being possessive of each other.
They will be sharing with each other
all their joys and all their blessings,
but never even in their dreams thinking of dominating,
thinking of enslaving the other person.
- Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh)
Anyone can be passionate, but
it takes real lovers to be silly.
- Rose Franken
You grow up the day you have
your first real laugh - at yourself.
- Ethel Barrymore
True religion is real living;
living with all one's soul,
with all one's goodness and righteousness.
- Albert Einstein
We tell the real truth of our life
by the stories we repeatedly tell.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Action is the real measure of intelligence.
- Napoleon Hill (author of the classic Think and Grow Rich)
All that is real is seen with the heart.
- Vivian Greene
The real lessons from the book of life
are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am a firm believer in the people.
If given the truth, they can be depended upon
to meet any national crisis.
The great point is to bring them the real facts.
- Abraham Lincoln
You cannot lose your real treasure.
- Osho
What I cannot love, I overlook.
Is that real friendship?
- Anais Nin
Even in the Christian religion,
much of its real meaning is hidden by words
that are misleading and symbols that but few understand.
- Ernest Holmes
My father always used to say that when you die,
if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
- Lee Iacocca
Smell the smells, feel the fear,
and smile at the incoherent way
life runs us in circles
while inscribing the real lessons
in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The real ornament of woman is her character, her purity.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
We know nothing at all.
All our knowledge is but the knowledge of schoolchildren.
The real nature of things we shall never know.
- Albert Einstein
In a very real sense, it will not be one man going to the moon,
it will be an entire nation.
For all of us must work to put him there.
- John F. Kennedy
Nothing can bring a real sense of security
into the home except true love.
- Billy Graham
Our real problem, then, is not our strength today;
it is rather the vital necessity of action today
to ensure our strength tomorrow.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.
- Pema Chodron
Real friendships among men are so rare
that when they occur they are famous.
- Clarence Day
Only a man's character is the real criterion of worth.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Life's real lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To raise new questions, new possibilities,
to regard old problems from a new angle,
requires creative imagination and marks real advance in science.
- Albert Einstein
It is health that is real wealth,
and not pieces of gold and silver.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Life is a Book of Riddles,
with the Real Lessons Writ Small in its Margins.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The real and lasting victories are those of peace, and not of war.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.