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Funny Taxes Quotes
Funny Quotes about Taxes

Let these funny Taxes Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
- Joe E. Lewis

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To compel a man to furnish funds for the propagation of ideas
he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.
- Thomas Jefferson

Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery.
- Calvin Coolidge


 

You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.
- Chris Rock

The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit
that still carries any reward.
- John Maynard Keynes

We have a system that increasingly taxes work and subsidizes nonwork.
- Milton Friedman


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Washington is a place where politicians don't know
which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
- Robert Orben

I am favor of cutting taxes under any circumstances and for any excuse,
for any reason, whenever it's possible.
- Milton Friedman

The people are hungry:
It is because those in authority
eat up too much in taxes.
- Lao Tzu

People try to live within their income so they can
afford to pay taxes to a government that can't live within its income.
- Robert Half

The genius of our ruling class is that it has kept
a majority of the people from ever questioning the
inequity of a system where most people drudge along,
paying heavy taxes for which they get nothing in return.
- Gore Vidal

Only the little people pay taxes.
- Leona Helmsley

I will cut all state taxes by at least one third.
- Sonny Landham

The rich aren't like us, they pay less taxes.
- Peter De Vries

Republicans in Congress boosted the economy by cutting
taxes and ending programs that don't work.
- Zach Wamp

The thing generally raised on city land is taxes.
- Charles Dudley Warner

You know, the Democrats want to balance the budget
by raising spending and raising taxes.
The Soviet Union had a balanced budget.
- Tom DeLay

Instead of raising taxes as some would insist,
we need to reduce waste and inefficiency in government.
- Tim Murphy

Note, besides, that it is no more immoral to directly
rob citizens than to slip indirect taxes into the price
of goods that they cannot do without.
- Albert Camus

What the Democrats don't seem to understand is that
higher taxes mean fewer American jobs and less American production.
- Lynn Westmoreland

Coal research and development provides huge benefits for the nation,
and pay for itself many times over through taxes flowing
back to the Treasury from expanded economic activity.
- Tim Holden

Elections should be held on April 16th-
the day after we pay our income taxes.
That is one of the few things that might discourage
politicians from being big spenders.
- Thomas Sowell

Just dying should not be a reason for taxes.
- Todd Akin

The most important ways in which I think the Internet
will affect the big issue is that it will make it more
difficult for government to collect taxes.
- Milton Friedman

I am not for raising taxes in a recession,
especially when it comes to job creators that we need
so desperately to start creating jobs again.
- Eric Cantor

There's not an appropriations bill in the last 10 years
that the-that Democrats passed in the Congress.
We haven't spent any money of your taxes in the last decade.
- Chaka Fattah

When we leave money in the hands of taxpayers,
they buy things, they pay taxes, they grow government.
- Ken Buck

Yes.
I don't think it would be appropriate at this point
to raise taxes on anyone,
certainly not in 2011.
- Mark Zandi

I'd cap the total amount of income taxes paid by Americans
to no more than 25 percent and tax all income only once.
- Cesar Conda

Today the salaries of stars are astronomical in comparison with the 20's,
but the high cost of today's living and taxes takes
a huge bite out of these salaries.
- Pola Negri

It is my absolute intent to hold the line on taxes.
- Jon Corzine

Taxpayers should not be coerced into giving up their
privacy rights just to file their taxes.
- Melissa Bean

We are afraid to face the hard questions.
We are willing to tackle drugs, crime,
and public education only if it doesn't cost us any new taxes.
- J. Irwin Miller

Commercials on television are similar to sex and taxes;
the more talk there is about them,
the less likely they are to be curbed.
- Jack Gould

We don't pay taxes.
Only the little people pay taxes.
- Leona Helmsley

Sadly, the President's budget proposal for the upcoming
year once again puts cutting taxes for the wealthiest
Americans over addressing our country's severe fiscal problems.
- Carl Levin

Taxes should be lower, flatter, and simpler,
in that order.
- David Boaz

Here is my principle: Taxes shall be levied according to ability to pay.
That is the only American principle.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes,
according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer
organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.
- Dave Barry

But the point you need to know is that no president
at war cut taxes $1.5 trillion,
like Bush did.
- Chaka Fattah

Nothing in life is certain except death,
taxes and the second law of thermodynamics.
- Seth Lloyd

We're going to look awfully stupid if we give income
tax relief to people who do not pay income taxes.
- Joe Scarborough

I'm like the guy who prepares your taxes or a dentist.
I'm very conservative and boring in a lot of ways.
- Augusten Burroughs

A balanced program for tax reform based upon the common
sense idea of lowering taxes out of surplus revenues.
- Andrew Mellon

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out,
it's just sort of a tired feeling.
- Paula Poundstone

When we played, World Series checks meant something.
Now all they do is screw your taxes.
- Don Drysdale

It will be sufficient to point to the enormous burdens
which armaments place on the economic,
social, and intellectual resources of a nation,
as well as on its budget and taxes.
- Ludwig Quidde

Simply cutting the taxes for America's wealthiest families
is clearly not creating the needed new jobs,
and that strategy is unlikely to succeed in the future.
- Tim Johnson

Taxes are not good things, but if you want services,
somebody's got to pay for them so they're a necessary evil.
- Michael Bloomberg

We have to deal with two issues.
Spending and taxes.
- John Boehner

We didn't think taxes ought to go up.
They ought to go down.
We didn't think the census ought to be weakened.
- Pete du Pont

The payment of taxes is an obvious and insistent duty,
and its sanction is usually punitive.
- Joseph McKenna

The reward of energy, enterprise and thrift is taxes.
- William Feather

Look, we play the Star Spangled Banner before every game.
You want us to pay income taxes, too?
- Bill Veeck

We can push Montana forward and we can do it with out raising taxes.
- Brian Schweitzer

And the cornerstone of my economic policies,
when I first got elected, was cutting taxes on everybody on who paid taxes.
- George W. Bush

It's time to stop the raid on the Social Security trust
fund and start allowing Americans to invest their Social
Security taxes in personal savings accounts.
- Mike Pence

Congress seems to want to cure every ill known to man
except unconstitutional government and high taxes.
- Charley Reese

When you try to figure out what the religious right is,
it ultimately comes down either to one man,
Pat Robertson, or anyone who believes in a higher being
and wants their taxes cut.
- Ann Coulter

Congress has changed the Social Security system over time,
and over 20 times in the past Congress has raised taxes
on Social Security in payroll taxes into the system.
- Chris Chocola

Today the House has a chance to give 25 million married
couples the best Valentine's Day gift possible,
elimination from the most unfair of taxes,
the marriage tax penalty.
- Jerry Weller

I come from Cuba.
Taxes for me are no big thing.
- Tony Oliva

For the first time in history, we declared war without financing it.
Americans have not been asked to pay for it through taxes.
- David Broder

Unquestionably, there is progress.
The average American now pays out twice as much in
taxes as he formerly got in wages.
- H. L. Mencken

Think what a revolution it will be if we manage to
get everyone to pay their taxes.
- Romano Prodi

I'm proud to pay taxes in the United States;
the only thing is,
I could be just as proud for half the money.
- Arthur Godfrey

I am opposed to any individual taxes until we eliminate
all of the unconstitutional agencies,
and I suspect we wouldn't need a tax after that.
- Michael Badnarik

I wouldn't mind paying taxes - if I knew they were
going to a friendly country.
- Dick Gregory

Americans spend much of their adult lives paying taxes in various forms.
We should end this practice of paying a tax that is triggered only by debt.
- Jennifer Dunn

I think most people...
would be glad to pay the same taxes they paid when
Bill Clinton was president,
if only they could have the same economy they had when
Bill Clinton was president.
- Howard Dean


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