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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny System Quotes
Funny Quotes about System

Let these funny System Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

It's not clutter, it's my unique filing system.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Credit is a system whereby a person who can't pay
gets another person who can't pay
to guarantee that he can pay.
- Charles Dickens

Do you ever question why our educational system
teaches competition rather than cooperation?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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There is no chance and anarchy in the universe.
All is system and gradation.
Every god is there sitting in his sphere.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Most people don't CHOOSE their value system -
they simply inherit the beliefs of their parents and community.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is a magic in the memory of schoolboy friendships;
it softens the heart,
and even affects the nervous system
of those who have no heart.
- Benjamin Disraeli


 

The only way to store information is by agreement.
The belief system is like a Book of Law that rules our mind.
Our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive.
Humans punish themselves endlessly
for not being what they believe they should be.
We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others,
but we cannot accept and love ourselves.
- don Miguel Ruiz

A system of morality which is based
on relative emotional values
is a mere illusion, a thoroughly vulgar conception
which has nothing sound in it and nothing true.
- Socrates

The best way to enhance freedom in other lands
is to demonstrate here that our democratic system
is worthy of emulation.
- Jimmy Carter

One strength of the communist system of the East
is that it has some of the character of a religion
and inspires the emotions of a religion.
- Albert Einstein

Is the system going to flatten you out
and deny you your humanity,
or are you going to be able to make use of the system
to the attainment of human purposes?
- Joseph Campbell

When we blindly adopt a religion,
a political system, a literary dogma,
we become automatons. We cease to grow.
- Anais Nin

A free America... means just this:
individual freedom for all, rich or poor,
or else this system of government we call democracy
is only an expedient to enslave man
to the machine and make him like it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

It is much more painful to have lost
something you thought you had,
than never to have had it at all.
If feels as if our trust was dashed.
We are disappointed and we are angry;
but not quite sure at who to direct our anger.
Someone, perhaps "the system," perhaps God,
should have done better.
Most of all we are angry at ourselves -
even though we did our best -
and we are afraid.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The greatest force in the human body
is the natural drive of the body to heal itself -
but that force in not independent of the belief system.
Everything begins with belief.
What we believe is the most powerful option of all.
- Norman Cousins

Living Into the Great Paradox,
I strive toward my vision,
while accepting gratefully whatever life serves up.
I work to bring about my vision of the future,
which is based on my value system of what is right,
just, noble, compassionate, generous, humane, peaceful, and loving.
Simultaneously, I accept that my vision
is based on only my opinions and prejudices,
and I honor all points of view and value systems,
no matter how different from my own.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I want to share with you the three rules
that I have in order to accept an apprentice.
Rule Number 1: Don't believe me.
I don't want you to believe me
but I want you to listen and make choices - your choices.
If what I say, doesn't work for you, leave it.
But if it works for you and that's what you want, then make it yours.
Rule Number 2: Don't believe yourself.
Why? Because most of your belief system is a lie - it's not true.
And by believing yourself, you create all the limitations
that don't allow you to be what you really are.
Don't believe yourself. Listen to what you say,
listen to what you think, listen to what you believe.
And when you listen, open your ears, open your mind,
open your intelligence and make choices.
Rule 3 is, don't believe anybody else.
Don't believe them at all.
Open your ears and your mind; listen and make choices.
- don Miguel Ruiz

There are righteous people working
in a whole rainbow of belief systems -
from Hasidic Jews to right-wing Bible Belters
to charismatic Catholics.
- Bono

We can allow satellites, planets, suns, universe,
nay whole systems of universes, to be governed by laws,
but the smallest insect, we wish
to be created at once by special act.
- Charles Darwin

We cannot expect that all nations will adopt like systems,
for conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.
- John F. Kennedy

Beliefs have evolved based on survival value.
Certain belief systems have been more conducive than others
to people living long enough to reproduce,
and having a high rate of reproduction.
It's that basic.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All men's souls are immortal,
but the souls of the righteous are immortal and divine.
- Socrates

If you believe in forever,
then life is just a one night stand.
- The Righteous Brothers

Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
- George Washington

It has always been a mystery to me
how men can feel themselves honored
by the humiliation of their fellow beings.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
- Marilyn Monroe

Force always attracts men of low morality.
- Albert Einstein

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

The means by which we live have outdistanced
the ends for which we live.
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.
- Leonardo da Vinci

If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus

Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau

In every society some men are born to rule,
and some to advise.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau

It is an interesting question how far men
would retain their relative rank
if they were divested of their clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln

The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for enough good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke

While civilization has been improving our houses,
it has not equally improved
the men who are to inhabit them.
It has created palaces, but it was
not so easy to create noblemen and kings.
- Henry David Thoreau

When It's Darkest, Men See the Stars.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The revelation of thought takes men
out of servitude into freedom.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

My heart bleeds at the death of every one of our gallant men.
- Robert E. Lee

Every kind of peaceful cooperation among men
is primarily based on mutual trust
and only secondarily on institutions
such as courts of justice and police.
- Albert Einstein

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

Who never walks save where he sees
men's tracks, makes no discoveries.
- J. G. Holland

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully
as when they do it from religious conviction.
- Blaise Pascal

It is not work that kills men; it is worry.
Worry is rust upon the blade.
- Henry Ward Beecher

It takes time to persuade men to do even
what is for their own good.
- Thomas Jefferson

One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
- Elbert Hubbard

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
- Henry David Thoreau

I look only to the good qualities of men.
Not being faultless myself,
I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The problems of the world cannot possibly
be solved by skeptics or cynics
whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities.
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
- John F. Kennedy

Security is mostly a superstition.
It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer
in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
- Helen Keller

Little do men perceive what solitude is,
and how far it extendeth.
For a crowd is not company,
and faces are but a gallery of pictures,
and talk but a tinkling cymbal,
where there is no love.
- Francis Bacon

We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason
if we dig deep in our history and remember
that we are not descended from fearful men,
not from men who feared to write, to speak,
to associate and to defend causes
which were for the moment unpopular.
- Edward R. Murrow


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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