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Let these funny Surprised Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
When we got into office, the thing
that surprised me most
was to find that things were just as bad
as we'd been saying they were.
- John F. Kennedy
I hope that you walk around the corner
and you get very surprised.
- Miranda Richardson
To be surprised, to wonder, is to begin to understand.
- Jose Ortega Y Gasset
All that this world needs is a good cleansing of the heart
of all the inhibitions of the past.
And laughter and tears can do both.
Tears will take out all the agony that is hidden inside you
and laughter will take all that is preventing your ecstasy.
Once you have learned the art you will be immensely surprised.
- Osho
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Society is always taken by surprise
at any new example of common sense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
May your season shine with delight and surprise.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Never tell people how to do things.
Tell them what to do and they will
surprise you with their ingenuity.
- George S. Patton
The fact that I exist is a perpetual surprise.
- Rabindranath Tagore
The True Surprise is that
So Many of Us have Evolved So Rapidly.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The beauty of facing life unprepared is tremendous.
Then life has a newness, a youth;
then life has a flow and freshness.
Then life has so many surprises.
And when life has so many surprises,
boredom never settles in you.
- Osho
One of the advantages of being disorganized is that
one is always having surprising discoveries.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
Tombs are the clothes of the dead.
A grave is a plain suit;
while an expensive monument is one with embroidery.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
A good indignation brings out all one's powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter
One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide
My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein
The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein
Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful
than Thor with his hammer.
The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.
- Henry David Thoreau
Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain
There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll
The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde
The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
- Terry Pratchett
One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot
When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy
One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous
There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham
The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln
That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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