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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Surprise Quotes
Funny Quotes about Surprise

Let these funny Surprise Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Society is always taken by surprise
at any new example of common sense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Never tell people how to do things.
Tell them what to do and they will
surprise you with their ingenuity.
- George S. Patton

The fact that I exist is a perpetual surprise.
- Rabindranath Tagore

The True Surprise is that
So Many of Us have Evolved So Rapidly.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May your season shine with delight and surprise.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The beauty of facing life unprepared is tremendous.
Then life has a newness, a youth;
then life has a flow and freshness.
Then life has so many surprises.
And when life has so many surprises,
boredom never settles in you.
- Osho


 

To be surprised, to wonder, is to begin to understand.
- Jose Ortega Y Gasset

I hope that you walk around the corner
and you get very surprised.
- Miranda Richardson

When we got into office, the thing
that surprised me most
was to find that things were just as bad
as we'd been saying they were.
- John F. Kennedy

All that this world needs is a good cleansing of the heart
of all the inhibitions of the past.
And laughter and tears can do both.
Tears will take out all the agony that is hidden inside you
and laughter will take all that is preventing your ecstasy.
Once you have learned the art you will be immensely surprised.
- Osho

One of the advantages of being disorganized is that
one is always having surprising discoveries.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.
- Walter Bagehot

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn

The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous

The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

A good indignation brings out all one's powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter

Tombs are the clothes of the dead.
A grave is a plain suit;
while an expensive monument is one with embroidery.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha

You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I

If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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