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Let these funny Surly Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
If you have only one smile in you,
give it to the people you love.
Don't be surly at home,
then go out in the street
and start grinning good morning
at total strangers.
- Maya Angelou
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed) 
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
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My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence;
then success is sure.
- Mark Twain
Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
You're only here for a short visit.
Don't hurry. Don't worry.
And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.
- Walter Hagen
Make sure you never, never argue at night.
You just lose a good night's sleep,
and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
- Rose Kennedy
When you see someone putting on his Big Boots,
you can be pretty sure that an Adventure is going to happen.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Momma always said dyin' was a part of life.
I sure wish it wasn't.
- the movie Forrest Gump
Each of us is burdened by an unlimited number of
expectations (demands) that we hold for the actions of others.
We "know" that there is a right way to do things,
and are often outraged when our expectations are not met.
Usually, we are unaware that we merely
have a strong opinion and point-of-view,
and are sure that we know how everything is supposed to be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love is the answer, and you know that for sure;
Love is a flower, you've got to let it grow.
- John Lennon
People make a big fuss over you when you're President.
But I'm very serious about doing everything I can
to make sure that it doesn't go to my head.
- Jimmy Carter
It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom.
It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest
might weaken and the wisest might err.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The more I see, the less I know for sure.
- John Lennon
Be clear that expectations are demands.
Demanding that life turn out the way we prefer
is a sure path to disappointment and suffering.
Happiness lies in having no expectations,
and accepting life as it comes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Keep moving. Don't stop. But don't rush.
Don't race around.
Sure and steady gets you there every time.
- Neale Donald Walsch
Forgiveness of all people and all acts -
is a sure path to happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Sure I am of this, that you have only to endure to conquer.
You have only to persevere to save yourselves.
- Winston Churchill
Success depends upon previous preparation,
and without such preparation there is sure to be failure.
- Confucius
I like the job. That's what I'll miss the most...
I'm not sure anybody ever liked this as much as I've liked it.
- William J. Clinton
The man who promises everything, is sure to fulfill nothing,
and everyone who promises too much is in danger of
using evil means in order to carry out his promises,
and is already on the road to perdition.
- Carl Jung
Life is NOT "Supposed to be Fair."
Know that there is no single way that life is "supposed" to be.
Demanding that life meet our expectations
is a sure fire recipe for a miserable existence.
Life is a game with no rules.
Life just happens to us regardless of our best intentions.
Our only path to happiness lies in being open
to receiving whatever life throws at us -
with Gratitude. Have NO Expectations of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not what you don't know that kills you,
it's what you know for sure that ain't true.
- Mark Twain
If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right,
you'll probably never do much of anything.
- Win Borden
Most of us love, to be sure.
Yet far too often our love is passive.
We must be proactive in our love
in order for it to change our lives.
- Marianne Williamson
Absence does not make the heart grow fonder,
but it sure heats up the blood.
- Elizabeth Ashley
Educate and inform the whole mass of the people ...
They are the only sure reliance for the preservation of our liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson
If we would build on a sure foundation in friendship,
we must love our friend for their sakes
rather than for our own.
- Charlotte Bronte
Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.
- Abraham Lincoln
Confidence is that feeling by which the mind embarks
in great and honorable courses
with a sure hope and trust in itself.
- Marcus Tullius Cicero
As to marriage or celibacy, let a man
take which course he will,
he will be sure to repent.
- Socrates
I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure.
I make mistakes, I am out of control
and at times hard to handle.
But if you can't handle me at my worst,
then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
- Marilyn Monroe
What I know for sure is that
what you give comes back to you.
- Oprah Winfrey
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand.
"I just wanted to be sure of you."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Since you are the one who has to live with your choices,
be sure they are your own.
- Alan Cohen
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
- Richard Bach
Just because it's true, I say as often as I can
in as many ways as I can form, "I sure love you."
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Today is life - the only life you are sure of.
Make the most of today. Get interested in something.
Shake yourself awake. Develop a hobby.
Let the winds of enthusiasm sweep through you.
Live today with gusto.
- Dale Carnegie
It is much more painful to have lost
something you thought you had,
than never to have had it at all.
If feels as if our trust was dashed.
We are disappointed and we are angry;
but not quite sure at who to direct our anger.
Someone, perhaps "the system," perhaps God,
should have done better.
Most of all we are angry at ourselves -
even though we did our best -
and we are afraid.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
God creates out of nothing. Wonderful you say.
Yes, to be sure, but he does what is still more wonderful:
he makes saints out of sinners.
- Soren Kierkegaard
There are eyes, to be sure,
that give no more admission
into the man than blueberries.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Laws are sand, customs are rock.
Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped,
but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
The penalty may be unfair, unrighteous, illogical, and a cruelty;
no matter, it will be inflicted, just the same.
Certainly, then, there can be but one wise thing
for a visiting stranger to do -
find out what the country's customs are,
and refrain from offending against them.
- Mark Twain
The shortest and surest way to
live with honor in the world,
is to be in reality
what we would appear to be.
- Socrates
Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it -
that is the quickest and surest way
ever yet discovered to conquer fear.
- Dale Carnegie
One of the surest ways to cause
yourself great suffering
is to insist upon being right -
to demand that all others view life
exactly as you view it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life
comes from being happy over the good fortune of others.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Great geniuses have the shortest biographies.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II
I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill
I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality
by contact with this great novel land of yours
which sticks up out of the Atlantic.
- Winston Churchill
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
- John Lennon
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
New York City is a great monument
to the power of money and greed...
a race for rent.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.
- Lewis Carroll
Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.