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Let these funny Sunday Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Do not let Sunday be taken from you.
If your soul has no Sunday, it becomes an orphan.
- Albert Schweitzer
Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week.
- Joseph Addison
Millions long for immortality
who don't know what to do on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
- Susan Ertz
From the way most people live,
one would never guess that humans are beings of free will.
Repetition can be a choice, but often it isn't.
The athlete or pianist who practices the same routine
day after day, year after year, has their eye on a goal.
The unending repetition is a conscious choice
in the pursuit of a life dream.
But what about the sameness of most lives?
Observe the morning commute, the after-work drink,
the Sunday football game or religious service -
how many of those people are consciously following their dream,
training their mind, body, and spirit through that daily repetition?
And how many are mindlessly slogging through each day
out of habit and boredom?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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More men fail through lack of purpose than lack of talent.
- Billy Sunday
Home is our sanctuary, where we:
relax into being ourselves,
play with our inner child,
paint the walls green and pink,
dig in the dirt,
grow something,
love somebody else,
love ourselves even more,
snuggle with a warm blanket on a Sunday afternoon,
hang "go away" on the door whenever we want,
clean and tidy often... or never,
launch from and return to,
are truly ourselves.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus
Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
The lawyer's truth is not Truth,
but consistency or a consistent expediency.
- Henry David Thoreau
Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster
It's not much of a tail, but I'm sort of attached to it.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken
The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France
The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb
Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon
Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone
I love not to mix with it.
- Thomas Jefferson
Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz
Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard
The function of muscle is to pull and not to push,
except in the case of the genitals and the tongue.
- Leonardo da Vinci
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
It's not clutter, it's my unique filing system.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.