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Let these funny Sugarcane Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Be not like the sugarcane -
do not hold your sweetness inside.
Be like the fruit tree -
be generous with your best.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie (inspired by Tagore)
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand 
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
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Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.
- Robert A. Heinlein
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
I'm not talking about lust.
A woman in lust wants chocolate.
A woman in love wants diamonds.
- the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer
Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill
DON'T get officious.
You're not yourself when you're officious -
That is the curse of a government job.
- the movie Harold and Maude (1971)
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus
Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster
As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde
I am not afraid of storms
for I am learning how to sail my ship.
- Louisa May Alcott
It's not clutter, it's my unique filing system.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide
Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
It's not a mess.
It's a physical manifestation of
a wonderfully complex ability to
assess and compartmentalize information.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran
The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty
The faith that stands on authority is not faith.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw
One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken
We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong
Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill
Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill
Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin
If you can not answer a man's argument,
all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
- Elbert Hubbard
It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France
It's not very heroic to slay dragons.
Dragons are generally very peaceful and well behaved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra
The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.