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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Substitute Quotes
Funny Quotes about Substitute

Let these funny Substitute Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering.
- Carl Jung

There is no substitute for the comfort supplied
by the utterly taken-for-granted relationship.
- Iris Murdoch

Always question WHY you are doing something.
Is it a free-will gift or an obligation?
That which is done out of a feeling of obligation
is unworkable as a substitute for a gift.
Obligation creates a feeling of resentment on your part,
and evokes resentment rather than gratitude
on the part of the recipient.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be an Observer of Life.
Gaining wisdom from carefully observing life
is not a substitute for action -
it is a prerequisite for informed action.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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Outer show is a poor substitute for inner worth.
- Aesop

There is no substitute for hard work.
- Thomas Edison

In truth, politeness is artificial good humor,
it covers the natural want of it,
and ends by rendering habitual a substitute
nearly equivalent to the real virtue.
- Thomas Jefferson


 

The sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent
will not pass until there is
an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

To cherish what remains of the Earth and to foster its renewal
is our only legitimate hope of survival.
- Wendell Berry

Experience life in all possible ways -
good-bad, bitter-sweet, dark-light, summer-winter.
Experience all the dualities.
Don't be afraid of experience,
because the more experience you have,
the more mature you become.
- Osho

Cloud Animals: Be a Child Again.
I remember warm summer afternoons,
laying in the shade of a maple tree in the back yard
of my Connecticut home watching the clouds for hours.
As those clouds formed dragons and foxes, clowns and angels,
I traveled across space and time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What this country needs is a credit card for
charging things to experience.
- Tom Wilson

I've always believed that if done properly,
armed robbery doesn't have to be an unpleasant experience.
- the movie Thelma & Louise

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
- Samuel Johnson [also attributed to Oscar Wilde]

Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin

Choose to be as a young child -
fully awake, eager for the next experience.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
- Dan Stanford

Fully experience THIS moment -
breathe in, breathe out - nothing more.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Only through experience of trial and suffering
can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared,
ambition inspired, and success achieved.
- Helen Keller

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.
Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute
with love, grace, and gratitude.
- Denis Waitley

I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life
as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.
- Joseph Campbell

Good judgement comes from experience.
Experience comes from bad judgement.
- Jim Horning

For everything I observe or experience,
I create a story - not sometimes, but always.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I'm not a genius.
I'm just a tremendous bundle of experience.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Forgiveness ... is the finishing of old business
that allows us to experience the present,
free of contamination from the past.
- Joan Borysenko

Experience is not what happens to a man.
It is what a man does with what happens to him.
- Aldous Huxley

Experience is a hard teacher.
She gives the test first
and the lessons afterwards.
- Anonymous

Other people do not have to change
for us to experience peace of mind.
- Gerald Jampolsky

The most permanent lessons in morals are those which come,
not of booky teaching, but of experience.
- Mark Twain

People grow through experience
if they meet life honestly and courageously.
This is how character is built.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Never "for the sake of peace and quiet"
deny your own experience or convictions.
- Dag Hammarskjold

Story is a sacred visualization,
a way of echoing experience.
- Terry Tempest Williams

Security is mostly a superstition.
It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer
in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
- Helen Keller

Even the truth, when believed, is a lie.
You must experience the truth, not believe it.
- Werner Erhard

One is taught by experience to put a premium
on those few people who can appreciate you for what you are.
- Gail Godwin

A mind that is stretched by a new experience
an never go back to its old dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

True learning is not about facts,
but about conscious appreciation
of the experience of living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I left the "eye for an eye" God
when I walked out of Bible school,
but God Within is a daily part of my personal experience.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.
- Henry David Thoreau

If you wish to experience peace,
provide peace for another.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

If what Proust says is true,
that happiness is the absence of fever,
then I will never know happiness.
For I am possessed by a fever
for knowledge, experience, and creation.
- Anais Nin

He who is persistent will realize God.
So try your best to make meditation
a regular experience in your life.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter
everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe
that change forever how we experience life and the world.
- John Milton

If money is your hope for independence,
you will never have it.
The only real security that
a man can have in this world
is a reserve of knowledge,
experience and ability.
- Henry Ford

We Learn...
10% of what we read,
20% of what we hear,
30% of what we see,
50% of what we see and hear,
70% of what we discuss,
80% of what we experience,
95% of what we teach others.
- William Glasser

Experience hath shown, that even
under the best forms of government,
those entrusted with power have,
in time, and by slow operations,
perverted it into tyranny.
- Thomas Jefferson

Experience demands that man is
the only animal which devours his own kind,
for I can apply no milder term to
the general prey of the rich on the poor.
- Thomas Jefferson

The only source of knowledge is experience.
- Albert Einstein

Follow that will and that way
which experience confirms to be your own.
- Carl Jung

I believe that anyone can conquer fear
by doing the things he fears to do,
provided he keeps doing them until he gets
a record of successful experience behind him.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Well-being is making its way to you at all times.
If you will relax and find a way to allow it,
it will be your experience.
- Abraham (Esther Hicks)

What I recognized is that you can't put it together.
It's already together, and what you have to do
is experience it being together.
- Werner Erhard

I adore the human experience
- Jewel

Never, never and never again shall it be
that this beautiful land will again experience
the oppression of one by another.
- Nelson Mandela

It was the experience of mystery -
even if mixed with fear -
that engendered religion.
- Albert Einstein

Unwearied ceaseless effort is the price that must be paid
for turning faith into a rich infallible experience.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

We deem those happy, who from the experience of life
have learnt to bear its ills without being overcome by them.
- Carl Jung

When people speak to you about a preventive war,
you tell them to go fight it.
After my experience, I have come to hate war.
War settles nothing.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Every thought has a consequence.
And every experience has a causative thought behind it.
- Ernest Holmes

I don't have to have faith, I have experience.
- Joseph Campbell

It is important to expect nothing,
to take every experience,
including the negative ones,
as merely steps on the path,
and to proceed.
- Ram Dass

Learn to become still. And to take your attention
away from what you don't want, and all the emotional charge around it,
and place your attention on what you wish to experience.
- Michael Beckwith

Experience does not err.
Only your judgments err by expecting from her
what is not in her power.
- Leonardo da Vinci

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience.
We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
- Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience
in which you really stop to look fear in the face.
You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

If you wish to succeed in life,
make perseverance your bosom friend,
experience your wise counselor,
caution your elder brother,
and hope your guardian genius.
- Joseph Addison

Heaven is within us, and we experience it
to the degree that we become conscious of it.
- Ernest Holmes

Only those who have learned the power
of sincere and selfless contribution
experience life's deepest joy: true fulfillment.
- Tony Robbins

Experience is the best teacher.
- Proverb


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.