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Let these funny Stupider Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
Everybody is a genius.
But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,
it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
- Albert Einstein
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I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel
People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind
A man must be both stupid and uncharitable
who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side.
- Joseph Addison
Stupid is as stupid does.
- the movie Forrest Gump (1994)
When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of,
he always declares that it's his duty.
- George Bernard Shaw
An instructed and intelligent people
are always more decent and orderly
than an ignorant and stupid one.
- Adam Smith
Love interrupts, if you like,
the consequences of your actions,
which in my case is very good news indeed,
because I've done a lot of stupid stuff.
- Bono
Love is being stupid together.
- Paul Valery
It is one of the blessings of old friends
that you can afford to be stupid with them.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge,
but he who hates correction is stupid.
- Anonymous
If you ask a stupid question, you may feel stupid;
if you don't ask a stupid question, you remain stupid.
- Tony Rothman
If you want to improve,
be content to be thought foolish and stupid.
- Epictetus
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
The difference between stupidity and genius
is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein
Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard
Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Stupidity is also a gift of God,
but one mustn't misuse it.
- Pope John Paul II
Nothing in all the world is more dangerous
than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can,
only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy
Having two bathrooms ruined the capacity to co-operate.
- Margaret Mead
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln
I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick
Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years
to have breakfast together,
but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.
- Winston Churchill
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein
Every tomorrow has two handles.
We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety
or the handle of faith.
- Henry Ward Beecher
Sadness is but a wall between two gardens.
- Khalil Gibran
Prejudice is a two-edged sword.
Like the steel sort of sword, it's very sharp, very useful,
and very dangerous if not properly mastered.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated;
you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
- David Lloyd George
Understanding is a two-way street.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands.
One for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
- Audrey Hepburn
Winners must have two things:
definite goals and a burning desire to achieve them.
- Anonymous
Falling in love and having a relationship
are two different things.
- Keanu Reeves
People sort themselves into groups
of happy people and unhappy people
through two different, but complementary mechanisms,
influence and affinity.
I influence those around me
with my emotional state, either happy or unhappy.
At the same time, I feel an affinity
for others who are like me in some way -
in this case by sharing my emotional outlook on life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can make more friends in two months
by becoming interested in other people
than you can in two years by trying
to get other people interested in you.
- Dale Carnegie
Two little words that can make the difference: START NOW.
- Mary C. Crowley
A wise man hears one word and understands two.
- Yiddish Proverb
There are two kinds of failures:
those who thought and never did,
and those who did and never thought.
- Laurence J. Peter
The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung
If there are dreams about a beautiful South Africa,
there are also roads that lead to their goal.
Two of these roads could be named Goodness and Forgiveness.
- Nelson Mandela
I had three chairs in my house;
one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society.
- Henry David Thoreau
A Great Relationship is the Dance of Two Great Lives.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth
- not going all the way and not starting.
- The Buddha
People generally complain about only two things:
when they have less than yesterday,
and when they have less than their neighbor.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.