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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Students Quotes
Funny Quotes about Students

Let these funny Students Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Harvard takes perfectly good plums as students,
and turns them into prunes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The most important outcome of education
is to help students become independent of formal education.
- Paul E. Gray

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
- Buddhist Proverb

Time to Die:
A Zen teacher had a rare and priceless teacup.
One day, his precocious student accidentally broke the cup.
Hearing the footsteps of his teacher,
the student held the pieces of the cup behind his back.
When the master appeared, he asked: "Why do people have to die?"
"This is natural," explained the teacher.
"Everything has to die and has just so long to live."
The student showed the shattered cup, saying,
"It was time for your cup to die."
- Traditional Zen Koan


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Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill


 

Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Some years ago I became president of Columbia University
and learned within 24 hours to be ready
to speak at the drop of a hat,
and I learned something more, the trustees were expected
to be ready to speak at the passing of the hat.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Happiness is not something ready made.
It comes from your own actions.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

We are always getting ready to live but never living.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have ready access to a power beyond my wildest imagination.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We never see what we are not ready to see.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We must be ready to learn from one another,
not claiming that we alone possess all truth
and that somehow we have a corner on God.
- Archbishop Desmond Tutu

The man who goes alone can start today;
but he who travels with another
must wait till that other is ready.
- Henry David Thoreau

I am ready and willing to seize the opportunities life offers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When life is too easy for us, we must beware
or we may not be ready to meet the blows
which sooner or later come to everyone, rich or poor.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

When I am getting ready to reason with a man,
I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself
and what I am going to say
and two-thirds about him and what he is going to say.
- Abraham Lincoln

The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready
for his opportunity when it comes.
- Benjamin Disraeli

If we will be quiet and ready enough,
we shall find compensation in every disappointment.
- Henry David Thoreau

Everyone has an opinion on many subjects
and is ready to share those opinions -
labeling them as "truth."
Sometimes it is relatively easy
to filter out these opinions.
Upon hearing an ad for the latest
weight-loss powder on late-night TV,
our skepticism leaps to our defense.
However, if we have heard the same opinion for years
from our parents, friends,
government officials, or religious leaders,
we are more likely to believe without questioning
than to raise our filter of skepticism
and ask the hard questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's one of life's great paradoxes ...
Accepting with gratitude whatever life throws at us
is critical to happiness.
Yet without a goal and commitment, life lose much of its value.
The best we can do in the face of this paradox
is to play to win, but be cheerful in defeat
and ready to play again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is also something excellent in every audience,
the capacity of virtue.
They are ready to be beatified.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin

Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill

Don't Take Anything Personally.
Nothing others do is because of you.
- Miguel Angel Ruiz (don Miguel Ruiz)

Personal importance, or taking things personally,
is the maximum expression of selfishness
because we make the assumption that everything is about me.
- don Miguel Ruiz

The Four Agreements
1.Be impeccable with your word.
2.Don't take anything personally.
3.Don't make assumptions.
4.Always do your best.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Don't take anything personally.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Don't take rejection personally.
Don't let someone else's bad day spoil your day.
As long as you never reject yourself, you'll be fine.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I must admit that I personally measure success
in terms of the contributions
an individual makes to her or his fellow human beings.
- Margaret Mead

Not everyone is always going to like what you do.
Your job application, your book proposal,
your offer of marriage is going to
get rejected sometimes - perhaps often.
Your boss, your spouse, even the person
behind you in the supermarket checkout line
is occasionally going to think that you are doing it all wrong.
Don't take it personally.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't take it personally -
it's not usually about you.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The whole world can gossip about you,
and if you don't take it personally you are immune.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery,
I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.
- Abraham Lincoln

Personally, I have fond memories of playing
on slippery rocks on the banks of a rushing river
as a child and hitchhiking in college.
To those who say, "But times are different now,"
I reply that statistically life is much safer now
than in the 1950s, with regard to both crime and accidents.
What has changed is our attitudes.
In those years, a broken leg from falling off a swing
or the back of a tractor was just part of childhood -
an excuse for gathering autographs.
Today that broken leg would be a source
of outrage and probably lawsuits.
I long for a simpler time when life was taken less seriously.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If all of us acted in unison as I act individually
there would be no wars and no poverty.
I have made myself personally responsible
for the fate of every human being who has come my way.
- Anais Nin

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

Force always attracts men of low morality.
- Albert Einstein

Universal compassion is the only guarantee of morality.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

BERLIN: PROCLAMATION TO THE GERMAN NATION FEBRUARY 1, 1933
The National Government will regard it as its first and foremost duty
to revive in the nation the spirit of unity and co-operation.
It will preserve and defend those basic principles
on which our nation has been built.
It regards Christianity as the foundation of our national morality,
and the family as the basis of national life....
- Adolf Hitler

Compassion is the basis of morality.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

A system of morality which is based
on relative emotional values
is a mere illusion, a thoroughly vulgar conception
which has nothing sound in it and nothing true.
- Socrates

Morality is the basis of things
and truth is the substance of all morality.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Truth is certainly a branch of morality
and a very important one to society.
- Thomas Jefferson

Aim above morality.
Be not simply good,
be good for something.
- Henry David Thoreau

Morality is contraband in war.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A man does what he must - in spite of personal consequences,
in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures -
and that is the basis of all human morality.
- John F. Kennedy

I reject any religious doctrine that does not appeal
to reason and is in conflict with morality.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Morality is of the highest importance -
but for us, not for God.
- Albert Einstein

Money, not morality, is the principle commerce of civilized nations.
- Thomas Jefferson

To say that authority, whether secular or religious,
supplies no ground for morality
is not to deny the obvious fact that it supplies a sanction.
- Joseph Addison

Reverence for life affords me my fundamental principle of morality.
- Albert Schweitzer

Do not be too moral.
You may cheat yourself out of much life.
So aim above morality.
Be not simply good;
be good for something.
- Henry David Thoreau

If the Great Way perishes, there will be morality and duty.
When cleverness and knowledge arise, great lies will flourish.
When relatives fall out with one another,
there will be filial duty and love.
When states are in confusion there will be faithful servants.
- Lao Tzu

The Four Stages of Public Opinion
I (Just after publication): The novelty is absurd
and subversive of Religion and Morality.
The propounder both fool and knave.
II (Twenty years later): The Novelty is absolute Truth
and will yield a full and satisfactory
explanation of things in general -
The propounder a man of sublime genius and perfect virtue.
III (Forty years later): The Novelty won't explain
things in general after all, and therefore is a wretched failure.
The propounder a very ordinary person advertised by a clique.
IV (A century later): The Novelty a mixture of truth and error.
Explains as much as could reasonably be expected.
The propounder worthy of all honor
in spite of his share of human frailties,
as one who has added to the permanent possessions of science.
- Thomas Henry [T. H.] Huxley

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer

Happiness depends upon ourselves.
- Aristotle

What we see depends mainly on what we look for.
- John Lubbock

It all depends on how we look at things,
and not how they are in themselves.
- Carl Jung

Whatever you want in life, start today.
Not tomorrow - today.
Let it be a small beginning - a tiny beginning.
Your happiness depends on starting today - every day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I'm having a bad day. I am not size six.
My legs are not skinny as sticks,
and dammit, someone's got to pay.
I'm afraid that I can't satisfy myself
and that my happiness depends on someone else.
I feel weak, so you're gonna take the fall.
You're so shallow.
- Jewel

The greater part of our happiness or misery
depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.
- Martha Washington

Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind,
than on outward circumstances.
- Benjamin Franklin

My happiness depends on me.
- A Course in Miracles

It all depends on how we look at things,
and not on how things are in themselves.
The least of things with a meaning
is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it.
- Carl Jung

Perhaps the truth depends on a walk around the lake.
- Wallace Stevens


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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