Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z


Get a Humorous, Yet Insightful, Quote of the Day each day by email.
Follow funny-quotes-life.com by Email:


Funny Student Quotes
Funny Quotes about Student

Let these funny Student Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
- Buddhist Proverb

Time to Die:
A Zen teacher had a rare and priceless teacup.
One day, his precocious student accidentally broke the cup.
Hearing the footsteps of his teacher,
the student held the pieces of the cup behind his back.
When the master appeared, he asked: "Why do people have to die?"
"This is natural," explained the teacher.
"Everything has to die and has just so long to live."
The student showed the shattered cup, saying,
"It was time for your cup to die."
- Traditional Zen Koan

Harvard takes perfectly good plums as students,
and turns them into prunes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The most important outcome of education
is to help students become independent of formal education.
- Paul E. Gray


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II

Study history, study history.
In history lies all the secrets of statecraft.
- Winston Churchill

We do not need to proselytize
either by our speech or by our writing.
We can only do so really with our lives.
Let our lives be open books for all to study.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi


 

To acquire knowledge, one must study;
but to acquire wisdom, one must observe.
- Marilyn vos Savant

The nature of life is to be
a study of contrasts: joy/sadness, full/empty.
The Main Thing is to Keep The Main Thing The Main Thing.
- Stephen Covey

Study the past, if you would divine the future.
- Confucius

When you are offended at any man's fault,
turn to yourself and study your own failings.
Then you will forget your anger.
- Epictetus

Study nature, love nature,
stay close to nature. It will never fail you.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Borrowing knowledge of reality from all sources,
taking the best from every study,
Science of Mind brings together
the highest enlightenment of the ages.
- Ernest Holmes

Today, like every other day, we wake up empty
and frightened. Don't open the door to the study
and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument.
Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.
- Rumi (Persian poet 1207-1273)

I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth

Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
- Lao Tzu

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Manners require time, and nothing is more vulgar than haste.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.
- Sydney Harris

No good comes from hurrying.
- Yiddish Proverb

Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.
- John Lennon

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx

Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.
- Henry David Thoreau

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen

A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson

Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller

Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Who forces time is pushed back by time;
who yields to time finds time on his side.
- The Talmud

The finest workers in stone are not copper or steel tools,
but the gentle touches of air and water
working at their leisure with a liberal allowance of time.
- Henry David Thoreau

You will never find time for anything.
If you want time you must make it.
- Charles Buxton

The bad news is time flies.
The good news is you're the pilot.
- Michael Althsuler

Footprints in the sands of time...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Why are you going there?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Once you have mastered time,
you will understand how true it is that
most people overestimate what
they can accomplish in a year -
and underestimate what
they can achieve in a decade!
- Tony Robbins

Find a time and place of solitude.
Look into the distance, and into the future.
Visualize the tomorrow you are going to build -
and begin to build that tomorrow, today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is only one time that is important - NOW!
It is the most important time because
it is the only time that we have any power.
- Leo Tolstoy

Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time
like dew on the tip of a leaf.
- Rabindranath Tagore

The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough.
- Rabindranath Tagore

A time for work, a time for play -
balance in all things.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The mind exists in time, in fact the mind is time;
it exists in the past and the future.
And remember, time consists of only two tenses,
the past and the future.
The present is not part of time,
the present is part of eternity.
- Osho

There is a time to cry for those we have lost,
and there is a time to wipe the tears and smile again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The way lies in softness and patience,
as the softest water cuts through the hardest rock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything.
It's the time we spent together that matters,
not how we left it.
- Trey Parker

If we are not happy and joyous at this season,
for what other season shall we wait and
for what other time shall we look?
- Abdul-Baha

Urgent? Why?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

Time is an untamed beast
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Feeling overwhelmed by apparent demands on our time
is like going to a restaurant,
ordering everything on the menu,
and complaining about indigestion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every time you don't follow your inner guidance,
you feel a loss of energy, a loss of power,
a sense of spiritual deadness.
- Shakti Gawain

I am but a grain of sand on the beach of life.
My footprints in the sands of time soon wash away.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with.
It responds like a snail to our impatience,
then it races like a gazelle when you can't catch a breath.
- the movie Simon Birch

Habit is habit,
and not to be flung out of the window by any man,
but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.
- Mark Twain

Humans are amphibians - half spirit and half animal.
As spirits they belong to the eternal world,
but as animals they inhabit time.
- C. S. Lewis

Time goes by a lot slower when you miss the one you love.
- Anonymous

In order to discover new lands,
one must be willing to lose sight
of the shore for a very long time.
- Anonymous

When you feel the need to hurry,
remember that everything in life is a CHOICE.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like an onion:
you peel it off one layer at a time,
and sometimes you weep.
- Carl Sandburg

I've learned that you should always
leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
- Anonymous

This is no time for ease and comfort.
It is time to dare and endure.
- Winston Churchill


Thank you for visiting: Funny Student Quotes - Funny Quotes about Student.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.