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Funny Stress Quotes
Funny Quotes about Stress

Let these funny Stress Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Make a conscious choice to live
a serene and stress-free life.
Stress is always waiting just outside your door
like a vicious wild-dog.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No good comes from hurrying.
- Yiddish Proverb PHOTO

The greatest weapon against stress
is our ability to choose one thought over another.
- William James


 

Those distractions that turn my attention from
what I thought I was going to do today are not "rat holes";
they are Enchanted Rabbit Holes
with a Magical White Bunny awaiting in each.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You create stress in your life by getting angry,
and you can instantly remove
that stress by granting forgiveness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I hear many people talk about their longing for a balanced life.
What I think they are really expressing
is a desire for a life with less pressure.
- Mary Anne Radmacher


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It seems that we have it backward in our society.
We tend to look up to people
who are under a great deal of stress,
who can handle loads of stress,
and those who are under a great deal of pressure.
- Richard Carlson

Learn to be calm and you will always be happy.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

May your life always be Counterpoint to the Clamor of the World.
May you delight in Dancing Lightly With Life.
May you soar on eagle wings, high above the madness of the world.
May you always sing Melody in the Symphony of Your Life.
May you taste, smell, and touch your dreams of a beautiful tomorrow.
May your sun always shine, and your sky be forever blue.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is not work that kills men; it is worry.
Worry is rust upon the blade.
- Henry Ward Beecher

When we are happy and serene,
time loses its power over us.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The fibers of all things have their tension
and are strained like the strings of an instrument.
- Henry David Thoreau

An overfull calendar, like an overfull stomach,
is a consequence of taking on too much.
Commit, and eat, in moderation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out;
it's the grain of sand in your shoe.
- Robert W. Service

You can choose to be peaceful right here and now ...
it has nothing to do with what other people do or think.
- Gerald Jampolsky

Stress is nothing more than a
socially acceptable form of mental illness.
- Richard Carlson

When you feel the need to hurry,
remember that everything in life is a CHOICE.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Stress is always waiting
just outside your door
like a vicious wild-dog.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Far from idleness being the root of all evil,
it is rather the only true good.
- Soren Kierkegaard

When you find peace within yourself,
you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.
- Peace Pilgrim

Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another
as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.
- Thomas Jefferson

Are you feeling stressed and upset?
If so, you are worrying about tomorrow.
Events that have already occurred may cause you regret,
but they only appear to cause worry.
If you just lost your job, you are not worrying about losing your job -
that already happened.
You are worrying about paying your bills and finding a new job.
Those are worries about tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Resistance creates suffering.
Stress happens when your mind resists what is.
The only problem in your life
is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds.
- Dan Millman

Urgent? Why?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Slowly and Deeply, I Inhale a Calming Breath.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.
Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever,
even if your whole world seems upset.
- Saint Francis de Sales

May your life always be Counterpoint to the Clamor of the World.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Personally, I have fond memories of playing
on slippery rocks on the banks of a rushing river
as a child and hitchhiking in college.
To those who say, "But times are different now,"
I reply that statistically life is much safer now
than in the 1950s, with regard to both crime and accidents.
What has changed is our attitudes.
In those years, a broken leg from falling off a swing
or the back of a tractor was just part of childhood -
an excuse for gathering autographs.
Today that broken leg would be a source
of outrage and probably lawsuits.
I long for a simpler time when life was taken less seriously.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If a warrior is to succeed at anything,
the success must come gently,
with a great deal of effort but with no stress or obsession.
- Carlos Castaneda

There are six components of wellness:
proper weight and diet,
proper exercise, breaking the smoking habit,
control of alcohol, stress management and periodic exams.
- Kenneth H. Cooper

Sometimes when people are under stress, they hate to think,
and that's the time when they most need to think.
- William J. Clinton

Smile.
Today would be a wonderful day
not to take life so seriously.
Today may end up the way you prefer -
and it may not.
Happiness is not about being a winner -
it's about being gentle with life -
being gentle with yourself.
Let life be a dance,
and choose the kind of
dance you want for today -
perhaps a gentle loving dance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In times of great stress or adversity,
it's always best to keep busy,
to plow your anger and your energy
into something positive.
- Lee Iacocca

A sloth lives a pretty good life, s-l-o-w-l-y.
Maybe we have something to learn from him.
Some days, being sloth-like may be just what you need
to avoid being consumed by urgency.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When we hate our enemies, we are
giving them power over us:
power over our sleep, our appetites,
our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.
Our enemies would dance with joy if only
they knew how they were worrying us,
lacerating us, and getting even with us!
Our hate is not hurting them at all,
but our hate is turning our own days
and nights into a hellish turmoil.
- Dale Carnegie

It's not the situation that's causing your stress,
it's your thoughts,
and you can change that right here and now.
You can choose to be peaceful right here and now.
Peace is a choice,
and it has nothing to do with
what other people do or think.
- Gerald Jampolsky

Future shock is the shattering stress and disorientation
that we induce in individuals by subjecting them to
too much change in too short a time.
- Alvin Toffler

People don't realize the amount of stress you put on
your body both physically and mentally from just the
wear and tear of a season.
- Grant Hill

Every night, I have to read a book, so that my mind
will stop thinking about things that I stress about.
- Britney Spears

I think it is fair to say that it is under a great deal of stress,
and if I am asking for significant changes,
it is because the world is going through significant changes.
- Mohamed ElBaradei

My father's death, my move, and my frightening and
difficult delivery created a tremendous amount of stress,
pain, and sadness for me.
I was practically devastated beyond recovery.
- Brooke Shields

Stress is an important dragon to slay -
or at least tame -
in your life.
- Marilu Henner

Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
- Lily Tomlin

Directors and writers have a lot of stress as well,
because they have people they answer to.
- Alexis Bledel

The worst injury I ever had was a stress fracture from running.
- Grete Waitz

I think I ran so hard and so fast, in a lot of ways,
from my life and I kind of took a fall.
It was like - what do they call it? -
post-traumatic stress syndrome.
- Rose McGowan

The humanitarian lays stress almost solely upon breadth
of knowledge and sympathy.
- Irving Babbitt

On the other hand, I still approach each book with
the same basic plan in mind -
to put some people under severe stress and see how they hold up.
- Terry Brooks

Money stress is what used to remind me of my Dad most.
- Ted Rall

We're all proud of the communities that we've built and are a part of,
but we shouldn't accept lost time and unnecessary stress when traveling in them.
- Melissa Bean

There was a lot of stress and assumptions made without me even saying anything,
which was very upsetting.
- Craig Stevens

When I die, my only wish is that Cambodia remain Cambodia and belong to the West.
It is over for communism, and I want to stress that.
- Pol Pot

The key to winning is poise under stress.
- Paul Brown

I have more zits now than I did as a teenager.
Stress zits.
- Tiffani Amber Thiessen

I have this helicopter crash, and I fall in love with
this man who was in the crash with me.
I must have been suffering from post-traumatic stress syndrome.
- Christie Brinkley

I stress the uniqueness of the Australian landscape
and its metaphysical and mythic content.
- Arthur Boyd

I'm picking and choosing in terms of the stress factor.
If it's not fun, I'm not going to do it.
- Anita Baker

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative
stress into a positive one.
- Hans Selye

Pressure and stress is the common cold of the psyche.
- Andrew Denton

I am thrilled - I can't stress that enough -
thrilled when I see kids getting active.
- Harvey Fierstein

Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it.
- Jack Wagner

It is important to stress: Africa is also a victim
of the September 11 attacks.
- Omar Bongo

Today's accent may be on youth, but the stress is still on the parents.
- Earl Wilson

There's a lot of stress...
but once you get in the car, all that goes out the window.
- Dan Brown

On the other hand, I have devoted so much energy to
reach the top that I accept the stress of being there.
- Placido Domingo

A woman under stress is not immediately concerned
with finding solutions to her problems
but rather seeks relief
by expressing herself and being understood.
- John Gray

If you improve a teacher's self-esteem,
confidence, communication skills or stress levels,
you improve that teacher's overall effectiveness across the curriculum.
- Elaine MacDonald

In my youth I stressed freedom, and in my old age I stress order.
I have made the great discovery that liberty is a product of order.
- Will Durant

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes,
heart trouble, MS, or whatever.
- Mary Ann Mobley

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity,
I would have to say it is avoiding worry,
stress and tension.
And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
- George Burns


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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