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Let these funny Streams Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Let children walk with Nature,
let them see the beautiful blendings
and communions of death and life,
their joyous inseparable unity,
as taught in woods and meadows,
plains and mountains and streams
of our blessed star,
and they will learn that death
is stingless indeed,
and as beautiful as life.
- John Muir
We return thanks to our mother,
the earth, which sustains us.
We return thanks to the rivers and streams
which supply us with water.
We return thanks to all herbs, which furnish medicines
for the cure of our diseases.
We return thanks to the corn, and to her sisters,
the beans and squashes, which give us life.
We return thanks to the bushes and trees,
which provide us with fruit.
We return thanks to the wind,
which, moving the air, has banished diseases.
We return thanks to the moon and the stars,
which have given us their light when the sun was gone.
We return thanks to our grandfather He-no,
that he has protected his grandchildren from witches and reptiles,
and has given us his rain.
We return thanks to the sun,
that he has looked upon the earth with a beneficent eye.
Lastly, we return thanks to the Great Spirit,
in whom is embodied all goodness,
and who directs all things for the good of his children.
- Iroquois traditional
Only dead fish swim with the stream.
- Anonymous
Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.
- Henry David Thoreau
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Rather than worrying about the continuous stream of potential threats,
let us give thanks for our blessing of living in the eye-of-the-storm -
our protected refuge from the terrors
of fearsome dangers just outside our lives.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In the confrontation between the stream and the rock,
the stream always wins -
not through strength but by perseverance.
- The Buddha
No stream rises higher than its source.
Whatever man might build, could never
express or reflect more than he was.
He could record neither more nor less
than he had learned of life.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
One can not reflect in streaming water.
Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.
- Lao Tzu
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch
There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll
If Christ were here now there is one thing
he would not be - a Christian.
- Mark Twain
Question with boldness even the existence of a God;
because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason,
than that of blind-folded fear.
- Thomas Jefferson
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide
One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins
The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken
One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde
My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges
The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde
A good indignation brings out all one's powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck
If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy
Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
- Terry Pratchett
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful
than Thor with his hammer.
The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.
- Henry David Thoreau
Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher
Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain
Tombs are the clothes of the dead.
A grave is a plain suit;
while an expensive monument is one with embroidery.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller
That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.