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Let these funny Storyteller Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
"I" is a non-stop storyteller, spinning tales
of the past, the present and the future -
constantly editing, interpreting
and directing this inner movie.
- Josh Baran
Humans are essentially storytellers.
- Walter Fisher
A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black
Humans are amphibians - half spirit and half animal.
As spirits they belong to the eternal world,
but as animals they inhabit time.
- C. S. Lewis
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We humans feel an instinctive need to know
what is coming next - what we can count upon.
We fear change - even the most positive change.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Humans do have an amazing capacity
for believing what they choose,
and excluding that which is painful.
- Spock (character in Star Trek television series)
Humans are allergic to change.
They love to say, "We've always done it this way."
- Grace Hopper
Humans make illogical decisions.
- Spock (character in Star Trek movies and TV shows)
The only way to store information is by agreement.
The belief system is like a Book of Law that rules our mind.
Our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive.
Humans punish themselves endlessly
for not being what they believe they should be.
We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others,
but we cannot accept and love ourselves.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Loneliness is not what it seems.
One does not feel lonely because one is alone,
but because of a feeling of lack -
a feeling that something is missing.
Loneliness is essentially independent
of how many other humans are around.
It has much more to do with one's self-esteem -
one's sense of inherent worth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
From the way most people live,
one would never guess that humans are beings of free will.
Repetition can be a choice, but often it isn't.
The athlete or pianist who practices the same routine
day after day, year after year, has their eye on a goal.
The unending repetition is a conscious choice
in the pursuit of a life dream.
But what about the sameness of most lives?
Observe the morning commute, the after-work drink,
the Sunday football game or religious service -
how many of those people are consciously following their dream,
training their mind, body, and spirit through that daily repetition?
And how many are mindlessly slogging through each day
out of habit and boredom?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Let us CHOOSE to bless ALL those around us,
not with an EXPECTATION that they should be more evolved,
but with UNDERSTANDING, and with our INTENTION
for a magnificent future for all humans.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
For me, the most powerful expressions of true Christianity
in this material world are an unconditional love of all humans,
and an uncompromising commitment to caring for all
who are sick, infirm, or troubled -
as expressed in the biblical story of the Good Samaritan.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
And you, Sonja, you look more beautiful
standing here than you do in person.
- the movie Love and Death (1975)
Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community,
and I'll tell you what his opinions are.
- Mark Twain
(paraphrase)
Credit is a system whereby a person who can't pay
gets another person who can't pay
to guarantee that he can pay.
- Charles Dickens
I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
What would be the use of immortality to a person
who cannot use well a half an hour.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin
Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin
A person who never made a mistake
never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein
The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb
Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde
Never say goodbye when you still want to try,
never give up when you still feel you can't take it.
Never say you don't love the person anymore
when you can't let go.
- Anonymous
It was high counsel that I once heard given to a young person,
"Always do what you are afraid to do."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It hurts to love someone
and not be loved in return,
but what is more painful is to love
someone and never find the courage
to let that person know how you feel.
- Anonymous
Resenting someone, or hating someone, ensures that
you can never emotionally escape that person.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A person isn't who they are during
the last conversation you had with them -
they're who they've been
throughout your whole relationship.
- Rainer Maria Rilke
The moment a person forms a theory,
his imagination sees in every object
only the traits which favor that theory.
- Thomas Jefferson
We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor
Truth is absolute, but only to one person.
My truth is absolute to me, and your truth is absolute to you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Good for who? Good for what?
There is no absolute "good."
"Good" is simply one person's preference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are afraid to care too much, for fear
that the other person does not care at all.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
We know what a person thinks not when he tells us
what he thinks, but by his actions.
- Isaac Bashevis Singe
The person who you're with most in life is yourself
and if you don't like yourself,
you're always with somebody you don't like.
- Marc S. Lewis
Resenting someone is a way of never leaving that person.
- Kare Anderson
If one does not understand a person,
one tends to regard him as a fool.
- Carl Jung
A person who trusts no one can't be trusted.
- Jerome Blattner
Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody,
I think that is a much greater hunger,
a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
- Mother Teresa
An unclean person is universally a slothful one.
- Henry David Thoreau
A competent and self-confident person is
incapable of jealousy in anything.
Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
- Robert A. Heinlein
If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient.
It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
The shoe that fits one person pinches another;
there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.
- Carl Jung
There is an optical illusion about every person we meet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person
to reconcile himself to the idea that
after all God will not help him
- H. L. Mencken
Jealousy is that pain which a man feels
from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved
by the person whom he entirely loves.
- Joseph Addison
No person was ever honored for what he received.
Honor has been the reward for what he gave.
- Calvin Coolidge
The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller
We come to love not by finding the perfect person,
but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
- Angelina Jolie
A mother is not a person to lean on,
but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
- Dorothy Canfield Fisher
Important ideas can come from unexpected places.
We tend to label people - Genius, Idiot,
Socialist, Regressive, Wingnut, Revolutionary, Terrorist.
But it is helpful to remind ourselves to be open
to good ideas - whatever their source.
It is equally important to avoid accepting any idea
merely because we respect that person's
other ideas or accomplishments.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
For everything observed or experienced,
each of us creates a "story" - not sometimes, but always.
A "story" is the fiction a person tells themselves
about what has happened or is happening.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To dream of the person you would like to be
is to waste the person you are.
- Anonymous
A person who is nice to you,
but rude to the waiter,
is not a nice person.
- Dave Barry
There is only one way... to get anybody to do anything.
And that is by making the other person want to do it.
- Dale Carnegie
There is no person in this room whose basic rights
are not involved in any successful defiance
to the carrying out of court orders.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
It is noted that a stopped clock is correct twice each day.
In a similar manner, a person who is unchanging appears wise occasionally.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
As a happy person, you radiate happiness to the world.
Visualize your light radiating throughout the world,
passing from person to person until it encircles the globe.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Determine never to be idle.
No person will have occasion to complain
of the want of time who never loses any.
It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.
- Thomas Jefferson
Every time you smile at someone,
it is an action of love,
a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.
- Mother Teresa
It is more dangerous that even
a guilty person should be punished
without the forms of law
than that he should escape.
- Thomas Jefferson
Freedom makes a huge requirement of every human being.
With freedom comes responsibility.
For the person who is unwilling to grow up,
the person who does not want to carry is own weight,
this is a frightening prospect.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths,
but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.
- Anne Frank
The final forming of a person's character
lies in their own hands.
- Anne Frank
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.