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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny State Quotes
Funny Quotes about State

Let these funny State Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

It is said that the world is in a state of bankruptcy,
that the world owes the world more than the world can pay.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We are by nature observers, and thereby learners.
That is our permanent state.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life is a process of becoming,
a combination of states we have to go through.
Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state
and remain in it. This is a kind of death.
- Anais Nin

I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.
- Albert Einstein


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Happiness is a state of mind.
- Anonymous

Urgency is a grim taskmaster.
Escape time, and life becomes irie.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
("Irie" is a Jamaican word for being at total peace
with your current state of being.)

Falling in love you remain a child; rising in love you mature.
By and by love becomes not a relationship,
it becomes a state of your being.
Not that you are in love - now you are love.
- Osho


 

People sort themselves into groups
of happy people and unhappy people
through two different, but complementary mechanisms,
influence and affinity.
I influence those around me
with my emotional state, either happy or unhappy.
At the same time, I feel an affinity
for others who are like me in some way -
in this case by sharing my emotional outlook on life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love is the total absence of fear.
Love asks no questions.
Its natural state is one of extension and expansion,
not comparison and measurement.
- Gerald Jampolsky

If a nation expects to be ignorant and free,
in a state of civilization,
it expects what never was and never will be.
- Thomas Jefferson

Never do anything against conscience
even if the state demands it.
- Albert Einstein

Fate is nothing but the deeds committed
in a prior state of existence.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Only love has the ability to put you in that state of bliss
- don Miguel Ruiz

Every citizen should be a soldier.
This was the case with the Greeks and Romans,
and must be that of every free state.
- Thomas Jefferson

Consistent happiness is found through
living in a state of constant gratitude.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Without health, life is not life;
it is only a state of languor and suffering -
an image of death.
- The Buddha

Praying without ceasing is not ritualized,
nor are there even words.
It is a constant state of awareness of oneness with God.
- Peace Pilgrim

Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary.
It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body.
It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.
- Winston Churchill

To discover joy is to return to
a state of oneness with the universe.
- Peggy Jenkins

Success is a state of mind.
If you want success,
start thinking of yourself as a success.
- Joyce Brothers

Every actual State is corrupt.
Good men must not obey laws too well.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence,
and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.
- Helen Keller

A consistent state of Serenity and Compassion
is living an Inspired Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Soar - it's your natural state.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Faith is not something to grasp, it is a state to grow into.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Above all, do not lose your desire to walk.
Every day I walk myself into a state of well-being
and walk away from every illness.
I have walked myself into my best thoughts,
and I know of no thought so burdensome
that one cannot walk away from it.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Understand the difference between "failing,"
which each of us does often,
and "being a failure,"
which is a state of mind no one should
ever allow themself to fall into.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our forces saved the remnants of the Jewish people of Europe
for a new life and a new hope in the reborn land of Israel.
Along with all men of good will,
I salute the young state and wish it well.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

To state the facts frankly
is not to despair the future nor indict the past.
The prudent heir takes careful inventory of his legacies
and gives a faithful accounting
to those whom he owes an obligation of trust.
- John F. Kennedy

Christmas ... is not a date. It is a state of mind.
- Mary Ellen Chase

A state of expectancy is a great asset;
a state of uncertainty -
one moment thinking "perhaps"
and the next moment thinking "I don't know" -
will never get desired results.
- Ernest Holmes

Have a talk with your mind
(it really is something separate from yourself).
Lay down the law.
"My life begins TODAY.
I am like a newborn.
I have what I have today;
I have my fingers, my toes,
some people in my life,
some material and financial state.
Yesterday is only a dream -
perhaps a nightmare,
perhaps a cherished memory,
but only a dream - nothing more.
I will make all decisions and actions based solely
on what I have today as a starting point."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every natural fact is a symbol of some spiritual fact.
Every appearance in nature corresponds to some state of the mind,
and that state of the mind can only be described
by presenting that natural appearance as its picture.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A newborn does not have worry, or stress, or anger,
because they have not yet learned those things.
Consider what life would be like if you could
forget all the past resentments and perceived offenses
that color your thinking and your emotions.
Buddhists call that state "beginner mind" -
an opening to experience life
without the jaundiced filter of past disappointments.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Because we fear the responsibility for our actions,
we have allowed ourselves to develop the mentality of slaves.
Contrary to the stirring sentiments of the Declaration of Independence,
we now pledge "our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor"
not to one another for our mutual protection, but to the state,
whose actions continue to exploit, despoil, and destroy us.
- Butler D. Shaffer

There is one consolation in being sick;
and that is the possibility that you may recover
to a better state than you were ever in before.
- Henry David Thoreau

When you are alone you are not alone,
you are simply lonely -
and there is a tremendous difference
between loneliness and aloneness.
When you are lonely you are thinking of the other,
you are missing the other.
Loneliness is a negative state.
You are feeling that it would have been
better if the other were there -
your friend, your wife, your mother,
your beloved, your husband.
It would have been good if the other
were there, but the other is not.
Loneliness is absence of the other.
Aloneness is the presence of oneself.
Aloneness is very positive.
It is a presence, overflowing presence.
You are so full of presence
that you can fill the whole universe
with your presence and there is no need for anybody.
- Osho

On His Blindness:
When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one Talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest He returning chide,
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies, "God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts. Who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly: thousands at his bidding speed,
And post o'er land and ocean without rest;
They also serve who only stand and wait.
- John Milton (1608-1674)

I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality
by contact with this great novel land of yours
which sticks up out of the Atlantic.
- Winston Churchill

We travel, some of us forever, to seek
other states, other lives, other souls.
- Anais Nin

The United States has to move very fast to even stand still.
- John F. Kennedy

I am mortified to be told that, in the United States of America,
the sale of a book can become a subject of inquiry,
and of criminal inquiry too.
- Thomas Jefferson

If anyone is crazy enough to want to kill
a president of the United States, he can do it.
All he must be prepared to do is give his life for the president's.
- John F. Kennedy

We must make it clear that a platform
of "I hate gay men and women'
is not a way to become president of the United States.
- Jimmy Carter

If the United States of America or Britain is having elections,
they don't ask for observers from Africa or from Asia.
But when we have elections, they want observers.
- Nelson Mandela

For me, one of the greatest things about living in the United States
is that we have a national holiday - Thanksgiving Day -
dedicated to honoring gratitude.
Having gratitude is one of the keys to a happy life.
Let every day be a day of profound thanksgiving.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The United States strongly seeks a lasting agreement
for the discontinuance of nuclear weapons tests.
We believe that this would be an important step toward reduction
of international tensions and would open the way
to further agreement on substantial measures of disarmament.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

If the Great Way perishes, there will be morality and duty.
When cleverness and knowledge arise, great lies will flourish.
When relatives fall out with one another,
there will be filial duty and love.
When states are in confusion there will be faithful servants.
- Lao Tzu

This overcoming of all the usual barriers
between the individual and the Absolute
is the great mystic achievement.
In mystic states we both become one with the Absolute
and we become aware of our oneness.
This is the everlasting and triumphant mystical tradition,
hardly altered by differences of clime or creed.
- William James

There are moments when all anxiety
and stated toil are becalmed
in the infinite leisure and repose of nature.
- Henry David Thoreau

I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station,
through which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in.
- George Washington Carver

Love is stronger than justice.
- Sting

Trust yourself. Only you can live your life.
Only you can taste your victories.
Only you can suffer the sting of your defeats.
Make your own choices, and accept your own consequences -
for better or worse.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I'm actually starting to like more and more people
who have convictions that are unpopular.
Now at what point does an unpopular conviction
interfere with your own human rights?
Forced female circumcision, for instance.
The Catholic Church's stance on contraception.
The list goes on. You know, God has some really weird kids,
and I find it hard to be in their company most of the time.
- Bono

Today, I Tap Dance Across The Stage of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer

There's a trick to the Graceful Exit.
It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage,
a relationship is over - and to let go.
It means leaving what's over without denying its value.
- Ellen Goodman

The highest possible stage in moral culture
is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.
- Charles Darwin

Everyone has a "best friend" during each stage of life,
but only a precious few have the same one.
- Anonymous

I have compassion for everyone who has ever
been a player upon the stage of my life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is but one stage for the peasant and the actor.
- Henry David Thoreau

I forgive everyone for every "wrong"
that I believe they have ever inflicted upon me.
I forgive them for my own sake,
that I may release the venom -
the anger and resentment within myself -
and regain my joy and serenity.
I have compassion for everyone who has ever
been a player upon the stage of my life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.
- William Shakespeare

I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous

Today, I am Sending My Monkey Mind to the Zoo.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What If Every Day Were Your Day -
Celebrate Whimsey Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

How do you want to be remembered?
Live life full out - Begin today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Hang tough... big girl panties today.
- Anonymous humor

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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