Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Funny Stages Quotes
Funny Quotes about Stages

Let these funny Stages Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer

Self-pity in its early stages
is as snug as a feather mattress.
Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
- Maya Angelou

All truth passes through three stages:
First, it is ridiculed;
Second, it is violently opposed;
Third, it is accepted as self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

The Four Stages of Public Opinion
I (Just after publication): The novelty is absurd
and subversive of Religion and Morality.
The propounder both fool and knave.
II (Twenty years later): The Novelty is absolute Truth
and will yield a full and satisfactory
explanation of things in general -
The propounder a man of sublime genius and perfect virtue.
III (Forty years later): The Novelty won't explain
things in general after all, and therefore is a wretched failure.
The propounder a very ordinary person advertised by a clique.
IV (A century later): The Novelty a mixture of truth and error.
Explains as much as could reasonably be expected.
The propounder worthy of all honor
in spite of his share of human frailties,
as one who has added to the permanent possessions of science.
- Thomas Henry [T. H.] Huxley


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


Today, I Tap Dance Across The Stage of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everyone has a "best friend" during each stage of life,
but only a precious few have the same one.
- Anonymous

The highest possible stage in moral culture
is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.
- Charles Darwin


 

There is but one stage for the peasant and the actor.
- Henry David Thoreau

There's a trick to the Graceful Exit.
It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage,
a relationship is over - and to let go.
It means leaving what's over without denying its value.
- Ellen Goodman

I have compassion for everyone who has ever
been a player upon the stage of my life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I forgive everyone for every "wrong"
that I believe they have ever inflicted upon me.
I forgive them for my own sake,
that I may release the venom -
the anger and resentment within myself -
and regain my joy and serenity.
I have compassion for everyone who has ever
been a player upon the stage of my life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.
- William Shakespeare

I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous

How do you want to be remembered?
Live life full out - Begin today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today, I am Sending My Monkey Mind to the Zoo.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Hang tough... big girl panties today.
- Anonymous humor

What If Every Day Were Your Day -
Celebrate Whimsey Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to paint life in bold colors;
set today's rhythm with your heart-drum;
walk today's march with courage;
create today as your celebration of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Dance Lightly With Life:
Today is your day to
dance lightly with life,
sing wild songs of adventure,
soar your spirit,
unfurl your joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Yesterday is ashes.
Tomorrow is green wood.
Only today does the fire burn brightly.
- Eskimo Proverb

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happy Birthday!
Today is YOUR day to Dance Lightly With Life.
Have a wonderful day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Yesterday is history,
tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That is why it is called Present.
- Anonymous

Affirmation:
Today I choose the higher road -
the path of charity, acceptance,
love, selflessness, kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to dance lightly with life,
sing wild songs of adventure,
invite rainbows and butterflies out to play,
soar your spirit, and unfurl your joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today, I Dance Lightly With Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Create Today As a Celebration of My Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
- Anonymous

I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today, I choose the higher road -
the path of charity, acceptance, love, selflessness, kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Those distractions that turn my attention from
what I thought I was going to do today are not "rat holes";
they are Enchanted Rabbit Holes
with a Magical White Bunny awaiting in each.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is the bridge between acceptance and faith.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Find a time and place of solitude.
Look into the distance, and into the future.
Visualize the tomorrow you are going to build -
and begin to build that tomorrow, today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is a day to honor other cultures.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The Paradox Of Living In The Moment is -
How To Be Happy Today AND Prepare For Tomorrow
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Make Today count. Today - each Today -
is the most important day of your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!
- Dr. Seuss

The importance of history is in it's
educational value for our lives today,
not in regret, resentment, or revenge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to Spread Wing and Soar.
Fly Life on Free Wings, and Sing to its Glory.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Memory is deceptive because it is colored by today's events.
- Albert Einstein

If you want to do it,
Do It - TODAY.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Give somebody a gold star - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't Wait!
Start on your dreams, your impulses,
your longings, your special occasions today.
Because this is your moment.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I Walk Today's March With Courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whatever you want in life, start today.
Not tomorrow - today.
Let it be a small beginning - a tiny beginning.
Your happiness depends on starting today - every day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I was thinking that I might fly today.
Just to disprove all the things you say...
please be careful with me, I'm sensitive,
and I'd like to stay that way.
- Jewel

Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Dream as if you'll live forever.
Live as if you'll die today.
- James Dean

Choose wisely - then act decisively. Do it today!
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Essentially all suffering is the result of...
1. Comparing what we have (or don't have) today
... with what we had yesterday.
2. Comparing what we fear we might have (or not have) tomorrow)
... with what we have today.
3. Comparing what we have (or don't have) with what others have.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We gather today in gratitude for the bounty of the land,
the joyful company around this table,
and all the other blessings of this life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is my day to dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is my day to paint life in bold colors.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You cannot escape the responsibility
of tomorrow by evading it today.
- Abraham Lincoln

Today is the first and last day of forever.
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

The solution to adult problems tomorrow
depends in large measure upon
how our children grow up today.
- Margaret Mead

Today is my day to honor my being,
release each and every struggle,
gather strength from life's storms,
relax into the arms of spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Take time today to appreciate beauty -
natural beauty, art, people.
Slow down, breathe deeply, smile.
It's a beautiful world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow...
but only empties today of its strength.
- C. H. Spurgeon

Today Is My Day To Laugh At Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I do not think much of a man who is
not wiser today than he was yesterday.
- Abraham Lincoln

Today is the right day to do
what you have long wanted to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today, when the winds of adversity blow strong,
redirect their force into the
service of your highest intention.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every day is a Perfect Day when I say it is;
and I say that Today is a Perfect Day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.
- Thomas Jefferson
(also attributed to Benjamin Franklin and Lord Chesterfield)

The ultimate test of a man's conscience
may be his willingness to sacrifice something today
for future generations whose words of thanks will not be heard.
- Gaylord Nelson

You are today where your thoughts have brought.
- James Allen


Thank you for visiting: Funny Stages Quotes - Funny Quotes about Stages.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.