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Funny Sports Quotes
Funny Quotes about Sports

Let these funny Sports Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Sports do not build character.
They reveal it.
- Heywood Broun

Other sports play once a week but this sport is with us every day.
- Peter Ueberroth

I always turn to the sports pages first,
which records people's accomplishments.
The front page has nothing but man's failures.
- Earl Warren

All sports for all people.
- Pierre de Coubertin


 

There are two theories on hitting the knuckleball.
Unfortunately, neither of them works.
- Charley Lau

Nobody's a natural.
You work hard to get good and then work to get better.
It's hard to stay on top.
- Paul Coffey

It's a round ball and a round bat, and you got to hit it square.
- Pete Rose


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My family knew, but most of the sporting world did
not realize that my right hand been some 75% paralyzed.
- Bill Toomey

What's a good tournament for him? Winning it.
He's good enough.
- Greg Norman

Fans don't boo nobodies.
- Reggie Jackson

If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you,
down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy
going back to pick it up.
- Tommy Bolt

The integrity of the game is everything.
- Peter Ueberroth

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught.
Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
- Ambrose Bierce

You can't win unless you learn how to lose.
- Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
- Hunter S. Thompson

Boxing has become America's tragic theater.
- Joyce Carol Oates

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.
- Martin Mull

Approach the game with no preset agendas and you'll
probably come away surprised at your overall efforts.
- Phil Jackson

Overall the fundamentals seem to be there and he's
obviously got a very mature head on his shoulders.
He's got a kind of presence.
- Nick Price

Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds
the other team below 100 points they almost always win.
- Doug Collins

Baseball players are smarter than football players.
How often do you see a baseball team penalized for
too many men on the field?
- Jim Bouton

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner,
and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
- Jack Benny

If you got the game, you got the game.
That's why Tiger Woods is out there playing golf with Greg Norman.
- Shaquille O'Neal

If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club,
they'd starve to death.
- Sam Snead

I'm not buddy-buddy with the players.
If they need a buddy, let them buy a dog.
- Whitey Herzog

Don't play too much golf.
Two rounds a day are plenty.
- Harry Vardon

I am building a fire, and everyday I train,
I add more fuel.
At just the right moment, I light the match.
- Mia Hamm

If you watch a game, it's fun.
If you play it, it's recreation.
If you work at it, it's golf.
- Bob Hope

Hockey is a sport for white men.
Basketball is a sport for black men.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
- Tiger Woods

People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball.
I'll tell you what I do.
I stare out the window and wait for spring.
- Rogers Hornsby

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare.
They are consumed in twelve minutes.
Half-times take twelve minutes.
This is not coincidence.
- Erma Bombeck

Tennis and golf are best played, not watched.
- Roger Kahn

I was showing early symptoms of becoming a professional baseball man.
I was lying to the press.
- Roger Kahn

God made me fast.
And when I run, I feel His pleasure.
- Eric Liddell

I'm tired of hearing about money, money,
money, money, money.
I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi,
wear Reebok.
- Shaquille O'Neal

The two most important things in life are good friends and a strong bullpen.
- Bob Lemon

What other people may find in poetry or art museums,
I find in the flight of a good drive.
- Arnold Palmer

Success is where preparation and opportunity meet.
- Bobby Unser

If a tie is like kissing your sister,
losing is like kissing you grandmother with her teeth out.
- George Brett

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet
mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.
- Ernest Hemingway

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.
- Gerald R. Ford

Baseball is a public trust.
Players turn over, owners turn over and certain commissioners turn over.
But baseball goes on.
- Peter Ueberroth

You know they're not going to lose 162 consecutive games.
- Harry Caray

You win some, lose some, and wreck some.
- Dale Earnhardt

Wrestling is ballet with violence.
- Jesse Ventura

Champions keep playing until they get it right.
- Billie Jean King

You wouldn't have won if we'd beaten you.
- Yogi Berra

I went through baseball as "a player to be named later."
- Joe Garagiola

Trying to sneak a fastball past Hank Aaron is like
trying to sneak the sunrise past a rooster.
- Joe Adcock

I'm a competitive person and I love the challenge of mastering new things.
- Sasha Cohen

The only way to prove that you're a good sport is to lose.
- Ernie Banks

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place
the world is when one is playing golf.
- Robert Wilson Lynd

You spend a good piece of your life gripping a baseball
and in the end it turns out that it was the other way around all the time.
- Jim Bouton

Football is an incredible game.
Sometimes it's so incredible, it's unbelievable.
- Tom Landry

I started playing ball when I was a kid.
My dad was a pro ball player and he passed on his knowledge to me.
- Kurt Russell

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?
- Al Boliska

I want to rip out his heart and feed it to Lennox Lewis.
I want to kill people.
I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children.
- Mike Tyson

If a man watches three football games in a row,
he should be declared legally dead.
- Erma Bombeck

Some people are born on third base and go through life
thinking they hit a triple.
- Barry Switzer

If you drink don't drive.
Don't even putt.
- Dean Martin

I'll let the racket do the talking.
- John McEnroe

A good hockey player plays where the puck is.
A great hockey player plays where the puck is going to be.
- Wayne Gretzky

Baseball life is a tough life on the family.
- Nolan Ryan

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
- Dave Barry

Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a
ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose.
- Woodrow Wilson

When I was 40, my doctor advised me that a man in his
40s shouldn't play tennis.
I heeded his advice carefully and could hardly wait
until I reached 50 to start again.
- Hugo Black

Don't look back.
Something might be gaining on you.
- Satchel Paige

Basketball is like war in that offensive weapons are developed first,
and it always takes a while for the defense to catch up.
- Red Auerbach

Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club,
don't you?
- Ben Hogan

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football,
basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns.
- John Leonard

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
- William Wordsworth


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