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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Spent Quotes
Funny Quotes about Spent

Let these funny Spent Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything.
It's the time we spent together that matters,
not how we left it.
- Trey Parker

A well-spent day brings happy sleep.
- Leonardo da Vinci

As a well-spent day brings happy sleep,
so a life well spent brings happy death.
- Leonardo da Vinci


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A day spent without the sight or sound of beauty,
the contemplation of mystery,
or the search of truth or perfection
is a poverty-stricken day; and a succession
of such days is fatal to human life.
- Lewis Mumford

I feel impelled to speak today in a language
that in a sense is new-one which I,
who have spent so much of my life in the military profession,
would have preferred never to use.
That new language is the language of atomic warfare.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

For some of us, the world appears to provide
only a fixed quantity of each resource -
a limited amount of food, of money,
of love, of success, of appreciation.
For others, life is unlimited.
Their world expands with the generosity, compassion,
inventiveness, and service that they contribute.
In this world-view, money that is spent
or given away returns multiplied.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


 

Life is unlimited.
Your world expands with the generosity, compassion,
inventiveness, and service that you contribute.
Money that is spent or given away returns multiplied.
The more love that is given, the more love returns.
The more a helping hand is given, the more hands
are strengthened and empowered to help.
We can help each other to all be winners.
We can all have food, and jobs, and love, and happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life well spent is long.
- Leonardo da Vinci

On His Blindness:
When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one Talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest He returning chide,
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies, "God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts. Who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly: thousands at his bidding speed,
And post o'er land and ocean without rest;
They also serve who only stand and wait.
- John Milton (1608-1674)

Crazy is walking down the street
with half a cantaloupe on your head,
muttering; "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."
- the movie Spy Hard (1996)

There is no doubt that life can be a bumpy ride.
But so were those roller coasters you loved as a kid.
Savor the adventure.
Find excitement in the uncertainty and the constant change.
Even let a touch of fear add spice to your life -
as you did on that roller coaster.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series

Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill

You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller

The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell

It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln

Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.