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Let these funny Specifically Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
I have accepted fear as a part of life -
specifically the fear of change...
I have gone ahead despite the pounding
in the heart that says: turn back.
- Erica Jong
I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard 
And you would accept the seasons of your heart
just as you have always accepted
that seasons pass over your fields
and you would watch with serenity
through the winters of your grief.
- Khalil Gibran
The only way to store information is by agreement.
The belief system is like a Book of Law that rules our mind.
Our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive.
Humans punish themselves endlessly
for not being what they believe they should be.
We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others,
but we cannot accept and love ourselves.
- don Miguel Ruiz
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Irrational beliefs are culturally accepted delusions.
- Robert Todd Carroll
If we take the generally accepted definition of bravery
as a quality which knows no fear, I have never seen a brave man.
All men are frightened. The more intelligent they are,
the more they are frightened.
- George S. Patton
If we all worked on the assumption that what is accepted as true
were really true, there would be little hope of advance.
- Orville Wright
Love ... waits to be accepted.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Love's gift cannot be given,
it waits to be accepted.
- Rabindranath Tagore
All truth passes through three stages:
First, it is ridiculed;
Second, it is violently opposed;
Third, it is accepted as self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Discrimination is a hellhound that gnaws at Negroes
in every waking moment of their lives
to remind them that the lie of their inferiority
is accepted as truth in the society dominating them.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Here in America we are descended in blood
and in spirit from revolutionists and rebels.
Men and women who dare to dissent from accepted doctrine.
As their heirs, may we never confuse
honest dissent with disloyal subversion.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
My ideas have undergone a process
of emergence by emergency.
When they are needed badly enough,
they are accepted.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- Phyllis Diller
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)
Never call an accountant a credit to his profession;
a good accountant is a debit to his profession.
- Charles Lyell
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston Churchill
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Edgar Bergen
Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead
Never trust spiritual leader who doesn't dance.
- Miyagi: character in the movie The Next Karate Kid
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller
I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel
You never can tell with bees.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
- Anonymous
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
My father always told me that
all businessmen were sons of bitches,
but I never believed it till now.
- John F. Kennedy
People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry
Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda
Which form of proverb do you prefer
Better late than never, or Better never than late?
- Lewis Carroll
I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
- H. L. Mencken
Never put off till tomorrow
what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde
A person who never made a mistake
never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves
for they shall never cease to be amused.
- Anonymous
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- Oscar Wilde
The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau
Until you've lost your reputation,
you never realize what a burden it was.
- Margaret Mitchell
Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.
- Babe Ruth
One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln
Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain
One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde
I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson
Eating words has never given me indigestion.
- Winston Churchill
There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather
"Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever."
"And he has Brain."
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain."
There was a long silence.
"I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge:
it is those who know little, and not those who know much,
who so positively assert that this or that problem
will never be solved by science.
- Charles Darwin
I make it a policy to try never to
make a complete idiot of myself twice in the same way.
After all, there's always all kinds of new ways
to make a complete idiot of myself.
Why repeat the old ones?
- Margot Dalton
Hate is never conquered by hate,
Hate is only conquered by love.
- The Buddha
She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump
Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.