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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Someday Quotes
Funny Quotes about Someday

Let these funny Someday Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

Faithfulness in the performance of small duties
gives us strength to adhere to difficult determinations
that life will someday force us to make.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

Imagine all the people living life in peace.
You may say I'm a dreamer,
but I'm not the only one.
I hope someday you'll join us,
and the world will be as one.
- John Lennon


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How far you go in life depends on you being
tender with the young,
compassionate with the aged,
sympathetic with the striving
and tolerant of the weak and the strong.
Because someday in life you will have been all of these.
- George Washington Carver

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was,
Thank you, that would suffice.
- Meister Eckhart

I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous


 

I am a self-centered spoiled-rotten brat,
Thank you for nurturing me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau

Life is a nurturing mother,
when you just remember to say "thank you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died.
Rather we should thank God that such men lived.
- George S. Patton

I thank Spirit for EVERYTHING
that has brought me to this moment,
and entrust my entire being
to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Know the power of saying, "Thank you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

"Good morning!" he said at last.
"We don't want any adventures here, thank you!
You might try over The Hill or across The Water."
- J. R. R. Tolkien

Thank you for joining me on this journey we call Life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Thank you, God, for this good life
and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
- Garrison Keillor

It is my choice to care deeply about others.
No kindness is too small to be important -
the smile to the bank teller,
the sincere "thank you" for all kindnesses received,
the reassuring hand on the shoulder of a loved one or friend.
There is compassion in selfless generosity,
but there is also compassion in heartfelt empathy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I thank you God for this most amazing day,
for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and for the blue dream of sky
and for everything which is natural,
which is infinite, which is yes.
- e. e. cummings

I take every opportunity to articulate to others
the ways that they have blessed and influenced me.
I hold sweet memories of making the opportunity
to thank teachers who have influenced me.
I encourage everyone to seize opportunities
to tell people who have made a gift of knowledge or influence.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Every man in his lifetime needs to thank his faults.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I thank God for my handicaps, for through them,
I have found myself, my work and my God.
- Helen Keller

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous

The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The attempt to combine wisdom and power
has only rarely been successful and then only for a short while.
- Albert Einstein

I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham

Advertisements contain the only truths
to be relied on in a newspaper.
- Thomas Jefferson

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
- Albert Einstein

The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie

A doctor can bury his mistakes
but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill

Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham

I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates

Only dead fish swim with the stream.
- Anonymous

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen

I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Boys will be boys. And even that wouldn't matter
if only we could prevent girls from being girls.
- Anne Frank

Magic is natural to Wizards,
and only a little harder for the rest of us.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill

Nothing in life is to be feared.
It is only to be understood.
- Marie Curie

Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller

Things may come to those who wait,
but only the things left by those who hustle.
- Abraham Lincoln

The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather

Move out of your comfort zone. You can only
grow if you are willing to feel awkward and
uncomfortable when you try something new.
- Brian Tracy

Miracles are the natural way of the Universe -
our only job is to move our doubting minds aside
and let the miracles flow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Universal compassion is the only guarantee of morality.
- Arthur Schopenhauer


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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