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Let these funny Solemn Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
From the solemn gloom of the temple
children run out to sit in the dust,
God watches them play and forgets the priest.
- Rabindranath Tagore
While the laughter of joy is in
full harmony with our deeper life,
the laughter of amusement
should be kept apart from it.
The danger is too great of thus learning
to look at solemn things in a spirit of mockery,
and to seek in them opportunities for exercising wit.
- Lewis Carroll
My theory has always been, that if we are to dream,
the flatteries of hope are as cheap, and pleasanter,
than the gloom of despair.
- Thomas Jefferson
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra
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Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken
Creationists make it sound as though a "theory'
is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
- Isaac Asimov
If the facts don't fit the theory,
change the facts.
- Albert Einstein
The moment a person forms a theory,
his imagination sees in every object
only the traits which favor that theory.
- Thomas Jefferson
We must respect the other fellow's religion,
but only in the sense and to the extent
that we respect his theory that
his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
- H. L. Mencken
An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I have this theory - that if we're told we're bad,
then that's the only ideal we'll ever have.
- Jewel
He who loves practice without theory
is like the sailor who boards ship
without a rudder and compass
and never knows where he may cast.
- Leonardo da Vinci
There could be no fairer destiny for any physical theory
than that it should point the way to a more comprehensive theory
in which it lives on as a limiting case.
- Albert Einstein
I have just got a new theory of eternity.
- Albert Einstein
Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer
There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin
It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill
An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde
Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain
The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie
You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields
The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain
Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain
Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell
It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln
Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln
No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller
He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.