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Let these funny Smart Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black
Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Live boldly. Laugh Loudly. Love Truly.
Play as often as you can
Work as smart as you are able.
Share your heart as deeply as you can reach.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
It's not that I'm so smart,
it's just that I stay with problems longer.
- Albert Einstein
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We must respect the other fellow's religion,
but only in the sense and to the extent
that we respect his theory that
his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
- H. L. Mencken
Work as smart as you are able.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
At the beginning of a relationship
we are attracted to the other person because
we think they are sexy, smart, funny -
whatever it is that we find appealing.
But very quickly, the focus of the relationship
turns to whether we feel appreciated.
If we don't feel appreciated, we don't feel loved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be smarter than other people, just don't tell them so.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
You are braver than you believe,
stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together...
there is something you must always remember.
You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem,
and smarter than you think.
But the most important thing is, even if we're apart...
I'll always be with you.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr
The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful
than Thor with his hammer.
The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.
- Henry David Thoreau
Difference of opinion is advantageous in religion.
The several sects perform the office of a Censor -
over each other.
- Thomas Jefferson
I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack
that life is extinct on other planets
because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
- John F. Kennedy
A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin
In soloing - as in other activities -
it is far easier to start something
than it is to finish it.
- Amelia Earhart
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron
The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain
When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin
If we have no peace,
it is because we have forgotten
that we belong to each other.
- Mother Teresa
I contend that we are both atheists.
I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen Roberts
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein
I am not the same having seen the moon shine
on the other side of the world.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We will not learn how to live together in peace
by killing each other's children.
- Jimmy Carter
Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Could a greater miracle take place
than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?
- Henry David Thoreau
Fear defeats more people than
any other one thing in the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin
The greatest lovers are like twin blooms,
each reflecting the passion and the glory of the other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Other people do not have to change
for us to experience peace of mind.
- Gerald Jampolsky
We are afraid to care too much, for fear
that the other person does not care at all.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
If we are not happy and joyous at this season,
for what other season shall we wait and
for what other time shall we look?
- Abdul-Baha
Good manners sometimes means simply
putting up with other people's bad manners.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Because we believe that our ethnic group,
our society, our political party, our God,
is better than your God, we kill each other.
- Neale Donald Walsch
Happiness blooms
in the presence of self-respect
and the absence of ego.
Love yourself.
Love everyone around you.
Love everyone in the whole world.
Know that your own life is of infinite importance,
as is every other life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every man has his own courage,
and is betrayed because he seeks in himself
the courage of other persons.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Each man's life touches so many other lives.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
A life is not important except in
the impact it has on other lives.
- Jackie Robinson (baseball player)
We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor
Nothing other people do is because of you.
It is because of themselves
- don Miguel Ruiz
Don't look for approval from anyone other than yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are injured and hurt emotionally,
not so much by other people
or what they say and don't say,
but by our own attitude and our own response.
- Maxwell Maltz
Today is a day to honor other cultures.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Real excellence and humility are
not incompatible one with the other,
on the contrary they are twin sisters.
- Jean Baptiste Lacordaire
Walking takes longer...
than any other known form of locomotion except crawling.
Thus it stretches time and prolongs life.
Life is already too short to waste on speed.
- Edward Abbey
We are not what we are,
nor do we treat or esteem each other for such,
but for what we are capable of being.
- Henry David Thoreau
The "stories" we choose to tell about our past
are never what a video camera would have recorded.
We can tell a sad story or a happy story,
and neither story is either
more accurate or "better" than the other story.
The difference is that one story causes us to suffer,
while the other brings us joy. I choose joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
What's in a name? That which we call a rose
by any other name would smell as sweet
- William Shakespeare
The way to happiness is what I call Zero-Based Gratitude.
Each day be happy and grateful for what you have,
independent of yesterday and of other people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I used to tell my husband that,
if he could make me "understand" something,
it would be clear to all the other people in the country.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
True love means putting the other person before yourself,
and honoring the relationship above all.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Without deep reflection,
one knows from daily life
that one exists for other people.
- Albert Einstein
Part of me suspects that I'm a loser,
and the other part of me thinks I'm God Almighty.
- John Lennon
Don't be trapped by dogma -
which is living with the results of other people's thinking.
Don't let the noise of other's opinions
drown out your own inner voice.
- Steve Jobs
A hero is someone who has given his life to
something bigger than himself
or something other than himself.
- Joseph Campbell
I think we dream so we don't have to be apart for so long.
If we're in each other's dreams, we can be together all the time.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
If there is any one secret of success,
it lies in the ability to get
the other person's point of view
and see things from that person's angle
as well as from your own.
- Henry Ford
You can't base your life on other people's expectations.
- Stevie Wonder
Nine-tenths of the people were created
so you would want to be with the other tenth.
- Horace Walpole
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.