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Funny Shark Quotes
Funny Quotes about Shark

Let these funny Shark Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

The worst part of success is to try to find
someone who is happy for you.
- Bette Midler

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck


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Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley

From wine what sudden friendship springs.
- John Gay


 

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns

Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

Fathers are biological necessities, but social accidents.
- Margaret Mead

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president,
but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
- John F. Kennedy

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson

Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
- Anonymous

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde

My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges

Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono

Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington

The ache for home lives in all of us,
the safe place where we can
go as we are and not be questioned.
- Maya Angelou

Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis

Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
- George Bernard Shaw

No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)

Sisters are different flowers from the same garden.
- Anonymous

Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

It is the friends you can call up at 4 A.M. that matter.
- Marlene Dietrich

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp

A person isn't who they are during
the last conversation you had with them -
they're who they've been
throughout your whole relationship.
- Rainer Maria Rilke

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother.
- Roe Fulkerson

Every child comes with the message
that God is not yet discouraged of man.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Distance cannot matter - ours is a friendship of the heart.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you.
- Mike Murdock

Let parents bequeath to their children
not riches, but the spirit of reverence.
- Plato

The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson

Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it.
- Swedish Proverb

Mother is the name for God
in the lips and hearts of little children.
- William Makepeace Thackeray

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

To the people who love you,
you are beautiful already.
This is not because they're
blind to your shortcomings
but because they so clearly see your soul.
- Victoria Moran

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor

Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
- Dale Carnegie

Those that want friends to open themselves unto
are cannibals of their own hearts.
- Francis Bacon

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together,
keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

A divorce is like an amputation:
you survive it, but there's less of you.
- Margaret Atwood

Don't be dismayed by good-byes.
A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.
- Richard Bach

Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.