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Funny Settled Quotes
Funny Quotes about Settled

Let these funny Settled Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin

If the United Nations once admits that international disputes
can be settled by using force,
then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization
and our best hope of establishing a world order.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Obviously I faced the possibility of not returning
when first I considered going.
Once faced and settled there really wasn't
any good reason to refer to it.
- Amelia Earhart

A leaf fluttered in through the window this morning,
as if supported by the rays of the sun,
a bird settled on the fire escape,
joy in the task of coffee,
joy accompanied me as I walked.
- Anais Nin


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If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin

You get what you settle for.
- the character Louise in the movie Thelma and Louise

Make sure you never, never argue at night.
You just lose a good night's sleep,
and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
- Rose Kennedy


 

Once you say you're going to settle for second,
that's what happens to you in life.
- John F. Kennedy

Unconditional war can no longer lead to unconditional victory.
It can no longer serve to settle disputes...
can no longer be of concern to great powers alone.
- John F. Kennedy

When people speak to you about a preventive war,
you tell them to go fight it.
After my experience, I have come to hate war.
War settles nothing.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

War settles nothing.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The beauty of facing life unprepared is tremendous.
Then life has a newness, a youth;
then life has a flow and freshness.
Then life has so many surprises.
And when life has so many surprises,
boredom never settles in you.
- Osho

Love is like a butterfly,
it settles upon you when you least expect it.
- Anonymous

Having seen the devastation of war first hand,
Eisenhower came both to despise war
and to see that "war settles nothing."
On the other hand, Ike was certainly no peacenik.
He understood that, in an emergency,
action must be met with reaction.
When truly necessary, violence met with violence -
but never hate responded to with hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is no passion to be found playing small -
in settling for a life that is less
than the one you are capable of living.
- Nelson Mandela

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes;
he who loves no one has no woes.
- The Buddha

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin

It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
- Laurence J. Peter

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

The way to silence religious disputes is to take no notice of them.
- Thomas Jefferson

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde

Random chance seems to have operated in our favor ...
there was no deity involved.
- Spock character in the Star Trek television series

I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

There is no use whatsoever trying to help
people who do not help themselves.
You cannot push anyone up a ladder
unless he is willing to climb himself.
- Andrew Carnegie

Computers are like Old Testament gods;
lots of rules and no mercy.
- Joseph Campbell

Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Less is only more where more is no good.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin

There is no such thing as public opinion.
There is only published opinion.
- Winston Churchill

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice.
In practice there is.
- Yogi Berra

Every one desires to live long,
but no one would be old.
- Abraham Lincoln

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark Twain

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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