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Let these funny Sending Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Today, I am Sending My Monkey Mind to the Zoo.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God
who is sending a love letter to the world.
- Mother Teresa
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
Great hearts steadily send forth the secret forces
that incessantly draw great events.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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If the present Congress errs in too much talking,
how can it be otherwise in a body to which the people
send one hundred and fifty lawyers,
whose trade it is to question everything,
yield nothing, and talk by the hour?
- Thomas Jefferson
Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!
- inscribed on the Statue of Liberty in New York harbor
All men are children, and of one family.
The same tale sends them all to bed,
and wakes them in the morning.
- Henry David Thoreau
Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely
only after they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban
It has always been a mystery to me
how men can feel themselves honored
by the humiliation of their fellow beings.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus
In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau
The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
- Marilyn Monroe
It is an interesting question how far men
would retain their relative rank
if they were divested of their clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
In every society some men are born to rule,
and some to advise.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste
the sky as well as the earth.
- Henry David Thoreau
I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard
My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I
Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
- George Washington
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau
Force always attracts men of low morality.
- Albert Einstein
The means by which we live have outdistanced
the ends for which we live.
Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
While civilization has been improving our houses,
it has not equally improved
the men who are to inhabit them.
It has created palaces, but it was
not so easy to create noblemen and kings.
- Henry David Thoreau
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for enough good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke
When It's Darkest, Men See the Stars.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln
One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men.
No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
- Elbert Hubbard
A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully
as when they do it from religious conviction.
- Blaise Pascal
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl
The revelation of thought takes men
out of servitude into freedom.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The problems of the world cannot possibly
be solved by skeptics or cynics
whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities.
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
- John F. Kennedy
My heart bleeds at the death of every one of our gallant men.
- Robert E. Lee
Every kind of peaceful cooperation among men
is primarily based on mutual trust
and only secondarily on institutions
such as courts of justice and police.
- Albert Einstein
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
- Henry David Thoreau
It is not work that kills men; it is worry.
Worry is rust upon the blade.
- Henry Ward Beecher
I look only to the good qualities of men.
Not being faultless myself,
I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
It takes time to persuade men to do even
what is for their own good.
- Thomas Jefferson
Who never walks save where he sees
men's tracks, makes no discoveries.
- J. G. Holland
I do not believe in a fate that
falls on men however they act;
but I do believe in a fate
that falls on them unless they act.
- The Buddha
Security is mostly a superstition.
It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer
in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
- Helen Keller
It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died.
Rather we should thank God that such men lived.
- George S. Patton
Truth is the property of no individual
but is the treasure of all men.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Men of lofty genius,
when they are doing the least work,
are most active.
- Leonardo da Vinci
An association of men who will not quarrel with one another
is a thing which has never yet existed,
from the greatest confederacy of nations
down to a town meeting or a vestry.
- Thomas Jefferson
Real friendships among men are so rare
that when they occur they are famous.
- Clarence Day
Men in general judge more from
appearances than from reality. All
men have eyes, but few have
the gift of penetration.
- Niccolo Machiavelli
There are times, sir, when men of good conscience
cannot blindly follow orders.
- Captain Picard, STAR TREK: The Next Generation
Wise men put their trust in ideas
and not in circumstances
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Difficulties show men what they are.
In case of any difficulty,
remember that God has pitted you
against a rough antagonist
that you may be a conqueror,
and this cannot be without toil.
- Epictetus
We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason
if we dig deep in our history and remember
that we are not descended from fearful men,
not from men who feared to write, to speak,
to associate and to defend causes
which were for the moment unpopular.
- Edward R. Murrow
The law will never make a man free;
it is men who have got to make the law free.
- Henry David Thoreau
Instead of noblemen,
let us have noble villages of men.
- Henry David Thoreau
All men's souls are immortal,
but the souls of the righteous are immortal and divine.
- Socrates
Timid men prefer the calm of despotism
to the tempestuous sea of liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson
The expert in battle seeks his victory
from strategic advantage
and does not demand it from his men.
- Sun Tzu
Only free men can negotiate;
prisoners cannot enter into contracts.
Your freedom and mine cannot be separated.
- Nelson Mandela
Violent men have not been known in history to die to a man.
They die up to a point.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
More men fail through lack of purpose than lack of talent.
- Billy Sunday
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.