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Let these funny Scornful Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone,
"it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
- Lewis Carroll
Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
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Just once in a while, let us exalt
the importance of ideas and information.
- Edward R. Murrow
I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
The mind is not a vessel to be filled
but a fire to be kindled.
- Plutarch
Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci
The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick
The natural cause of the human mind
is certainly from credulity to skepticism.
- Thomas Jefferson
The believing mind is eternally impervious to evidence.
- H. L. Mencken
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind
and won't change the subject.
- Winston Churchill
God Loves an Open Mind, Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
So does Your Mother.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today, I am Sending My Monkey Mind to the Zoo.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The mind has exactly the same power as the hands:
not merely to grasp the world, but to change it.
- Colin Wilson
The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett
Faced with the choice between changing one's mind
and proving that there is no need to do so,
almost everyone gets busy on the proof.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
The human mind is our fundamental resource.
- John F. Kennedy
Beware the Rattlesnake of the Mind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To the mind that is still,
the whole universe surrenders.
- Lao Tzu
Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw
Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain
One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light,
but by making the darkness conscious.
- Carl Jung
Nothing is so firmly believed as what is least known.
- Michel de Montaigne
The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
- Publilius Syrus
The moment a person forms a theory,
his imagination sees in every object
only the traits which favor that theory.
- Thomas Jefferson
The highest possible stage in moral culture
is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts.
- Charles Darwin
Every mind must make its choice
between truth and repose.
It cannot have both.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Education is not the filling of a pail,
but the lighting of a fire.
- William Butler Yeats
No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers
of acting and reasoning as fear.
- Edmund Burke
A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow.
- Charlotte Bronte
Doubt and mistrust are the mere panic of timid imagination,
which the steadfast heart will conquer,
and the large mind will transcend.
- Helen Keller
No problem can be solved from the same level
of consciousness that created it.
- Albert Einstein
Few is the number of those
who think with their own mind
and feel with their own heart.
- Albert Einstein
The human mind treats a new idea the way the body
treats a strange protein; it rejects it.
- Peter Medawar
Bodily decay is gloomy in prospect,
but of all human contemplations,
the most abhorrent is body without mind.
- Thomas Jefferson
The most dangerous phrase in the language is,
"We've always done it this way."
- Grace Hopper
Resistance creates suffering.
Stress happens when your mind resists what is.
The only problem in your life
is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds.
- Dan Millman
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself -
and you are the easiest person to fool.
- Richard Feynman
There is more value in a very good painting
that is completed and on display,
than in an excellent painting
that is still in the artist's studio,
or perhaps still in his mind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Genuine heroes - no batteries needed -
bring lots of open-mind and at least a little courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein
Happiness is a state of mind.
- Anonymous
Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea,
never regains its original dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
As selfishness and complaint
pervert and cloud the mind,
so love with its joy
clears and sharpens the vision.
- Helen Keller
Nothing in all the world is more dangerous
than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Other people do not have to change
for us to experience peace of mind.
- Gerald Jampolsky
The intuitive mind is a sacred gift
and the rational mind is a faithful servant.
We have created a society that honors the servant
and has forgotten the gift.
- Albert Einstein
Dare to be naive.
- Buckminster Fuller
Intuition will tell the thinking mind where to look next.
- Jonas Salk
Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as
your own unguarded thoughts.
- The Buddha
Free-Will is the key to the prison of the mind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie
The pendulum of the mind alternates
between sense and nonsense,
not between right and wrong.
- Carl Jung
Reading, after a certain age,
diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits.
Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little
falls into lazy habits of thinking.
- Albert Einstein
You must not under any pretense allow
your mind to dwell on any thought
that is not positive, constructive, optimistic, kind.
- Emmet Fox
I CHOOSE with Open Mind and Open Heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The mind of man is continuously unfolding
into a greater recognition of its real plan
in the creative order of the Universe.
- Ernest Holmes
If you are absolutely without mind,
just pure consciousness,
time stops completely,
disappears,
leaving no trace behind.
- Osho
I come to life with an Open Mind,
Clean Hands, and a Loving Heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do not dwell in the past,
do not dream of the future,
concentrate the mind on the present moment.
- The Buddha
One cannot have a mind that is empty of all thoughts,
but one can have a mind that is content with
whatever thoughts fill it at the moment.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The Science of Mind is intensely practical
because it teaches us how to use
the Mind Principle for definite purposes,
such as helping those who are sick, impoverished, or unhappy.
- Ernest Holmes
Although I cannot move and I have to speak through a computer,
in my mind I am free.
- Stephen Hawking
Get the habit of analysis -
analysis will in time enable synthesis
to become your habit of mind.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
He who knows nothing is closer to the truth
than he whose mind is filled with falsehoods and errors.
- Thomas Jefferson
Toleration is the greatest gift of the mind;
it requires the same effort of the brain
that it takes to balance oneself on a bicycle.
- Helen Keller
You can conquer almost any fear
if you will only make up your mind to do so.
For remember, fear doesn't exist
anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.