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Let these funny Scorn Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone,
"it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
- Lewis Carroll
Life is a game - a game you can never win.
You already know the final score: Life 1, You 0.
Doesn't mean you can't have fun playing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
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Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll
It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition,
is not only a waste of energy
but the worst habit you could possibly have.
- Dale Carnegie
A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller
Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb
I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard
Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow
You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous
She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.
- Vivian Greene
Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Persevere. Plan. Strategize. Focus. Breathe. Write.
Let go: relax. Forgive. All this failing: take a nap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry
Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Happiness is a figment of the imagination.
Imagine happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary "rules" about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda
Life is not supposed to be fair.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.