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Funny Schoolchildren Quotes
Funny Quotes about Schoolchildren

Let these funny Schoolchildren Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

We know nothing at all.
All our knowledge is but the knowledge of schoolchildren.
The real nature of things we shall never know.
- Albert Einstein

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed) PHOTO

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world.
I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain


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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)


 

He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor

I feel the need to express something,
but I don't know what it is I want to express.
- the movie Interiors

If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
- Mark Twain

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

The most difficult thing in the world
is to know how to do a thing
and to watch somebody else doing it wrong,
without comment.
- Theodore. H. White

There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

I refuse to answer that question
on the grounds that I don't know the answer
- Douglas Adams

I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Know that the greatest fear is fear of the unknown.
Seek to meet the unknown with courage and a sense of adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Is it ignorance or apathy?
Hey, I don't know and I don't care.
- Jimmy Buffett

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

You wanna know the meaning of life?
Fugedaboudit - It ain't happnin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong

I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin

I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
- John Lennon

You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie

Stand Tall, Stand Proud.
Know that you are unique and magnificent.
You do not need the approval of others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

Know the power and the peace of saying,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One can not reflect in streaming water.
Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.
- Lao Tzu

To know God, watch a butterfly return to the same tree -
after a year and a thousand miles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Know thyself.
- Socrates (inscribed on the ancient Greek temple at Delphi)

If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)

Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.
I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right.
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr (Serenity Prayer)

Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge:
it is those who know little, and not those who know much,
who so positively assert that this or that problem
will never be solved by science.
- Charles Darwin

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Between believing a thing and thinking you KNOW
is only a small step and quickly taken.
- Mark Twain

The WORK
1.Is it true?
2.Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3.How do you react when you think that thought?
4.Who would you be without the thought?
- Byron Katie

Know that you sail the seas of life
as the master of your own ship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Those who don't know how to weep with their whole heart,
don't know how to laugh either
- Golda Meir

To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children,
to leave the world a better place,
to know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived,
this is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I don't like that man.
I must get to know him better.
- Abraham Lincoln

You know you love someone when you know
you want them to be happy,
even if their happiness means
that you are not a part of it.
- Anonymous

We humans feel an instinctive need to know
what is coming next - what we can count upon.
We fear change - even the most positive change.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Youth, large, lusty, loving -
Youth, full of grace, force, fascination.
Do you know that Old Age may come after you
with equal grace, force, fascination?
- Walt Whitman

Know the best and highest choices for health
and more often choose those things.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Life is a game - a game you can never win.
You already know the final score: Life 1, You 0.
Doesn't mean you can't have fun playing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It hurts to love someone
and not be loved in return,
but what is more painful is to love
someone and never find the courage
to let that person know how you feel.
- Anonymous

If you were a warrior,
you would know that the worst thing
one can do is confront human beings directly.
- Carlos Castaneda

Once you know yourself as a genuine seeker,
and when your own inner chamber is quite enlightened,
then comes the natural unfoldment of pure love and compassion
and a genuine desire to serve others.
- Rod Stryker


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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