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Let these funny Saves Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
No one saves us but ourselves.
No one can and no one may.
We ourselves must walk the path.
- The Buddha
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West
The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein
God has cared for these trees,
saved them from drought, disease, avalanches,
and a thousand tempests and floods.
But he cannot save them from fools.
- John Muir
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The urge to save humanity is almost always
a false front for the urge to rule.
- H. L. Mencken
Do not save your loving speeches
For your friends till they are dead;
Do not write them on their tombstones,
Speak them rather now instead.
- Anna Cummins
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
Who never walks save where he sees
men's tracks, makes no discoveries.
- J. G. Holland
The people will save their government,
if the government itself will allow them.
- Abraham Lincoln
It is any day better to stand erect
with a broken and bandaged head
then to crawl on one's belly,
in order to be able to save one's head.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Let there be no purpose in friendship
save the deepening of the spirit.
- Khalil Gibran
Choose! If it's worth doing, do it today.
If it's not worth doing today, save yourself a lot
of worry and regret by choosing to permanently
erase it from your to-do list.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is nothing good or evil save in the will.
- Epictetus
It is incumbent on every generation
to pay its own debts as it goes.
A principle which if acted on would
save one-half the wars of the world.
- Thomas Jefferson
Sure I am of this, that you have only to endure to conquer.
You have only to persevere to save yourselves.
- Winston Churchill
Who will save your soul if you won't save you own?
- Jewel
If a free society cannot help the many who are poor,
it cannot save the few who are rich.
- John F. Kennedy
Anxiety is love's greatest killer.
It makes one feel as you might
when a drowning man holds unto you.
You want to save him, but you know
he will strangle you with his panic.
- Anais Nin
Personal transformation can and does have global effects.
As we go, so goes the world, for the world is us.
The revolution that will save the world
is ultimately a personal one.
- Marianne Williamson
There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.
- George Santayana
A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil;
but it needs a little much of letters and phone calls
and small, silly presents every so often -
just to save it from drying out completely.
- Pam Brown
What does it profit, my brethren,
if someone says he has faith but does not have works?
Can faith save him?
- James 2:14
Training - training is everything; training is all there is to a person.
We speak of nature; it is folly; there is no such thing as nature;
what we call by that misleading name is merely heredity and training.
We have no thoughts of our own, no opinions of our own;
they are transmitted to us, trained into us.
All that is original in us, and therefore fairly creditable
or discreditable to us, can be covered up and hidden
by the point of a cambric needle, all the rest being atoms
contributed by, and inherited from, a procession of ancestors
that stretches back a billion years to the Adam-clam
or grasshopper or monkey from whom our race has been
so tediously and ostentatiously and unprofitably developed.
And as for me, all that I think about in this plodding sad pilgrimage,
this pathetic drift between the eternities,
is to look out and humbly live a pure and high and blameless life,
and save that one microscopic atom in me that is truly me:
the rest may land in Sheol and welcome for all I care.
- Mark Twain in A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
A penny saved is a penny earned.
- Benjamin Franklin [attributed]
Our forces saved the remnants of the Jewish people of Europe
for a new life and a new hope in the reborn land of Israel.
Along with all men of good will,
I salute the young state and wish it well.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Never cease loving a person, and never give up hope for him,
for even the prodigal son who had fallen most low,
could still be saved; the bitterest enemy
and also he who was your friend could again be your friend;
love that has grown cold can kindle
- Soren Kierkegaard
I'm saving that rocker for the day
when I feel as old as I really am.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
A quotation is a handy thing to have about,
saving one the trouble of thinking for oneself.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Start living now.
Stop saving the good china
for that special occasion.
Stop withholding your love
until that special person materializes.
Every day you are alive is a special occasion.
Every minute, every breath, is a gift from God.
- Mary Manin Morrissey
Do not let spacious plans for a new world
divert your energies from saving
what is left of the old.
- Winston Churchill
The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.
Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
Man can hardly even recognize the devils of his own creation.
- Albert Schweitzer
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar
An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.