Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Funny Sandwich Quotes
Funny Quotes about Sandwich

Let these funny Sandwich Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A month before the season, I don't order fries with my club sandwich.
- Mario Lemeiux

Sandwich every bit of criticism between two layers of praise.
- Mary Kay Ash

It's a Tim sandwich.
The meat is fresh, but the bread is moldy.
- Daniel Craig


 

The plastic on your sandwich really doesn't have to
be made to last 50 years.
- Charles Moore

My parents were vegetarians.
I'd show up at school, this giant black kid,
with none of the cool clothes and a tofu sandwich and celery sticks.
- Aisha Tyler

Enjoy every sandwich.
- Warren Zevon


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


There's nothing better than good sex.
But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.
- Billy Joel

In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger
ones can recognize one another as the bread.
Those in the middle are, for a time,
the meat.
- Anna Quindlen

I say 20 words in English.
I say money, money, money, and I say hot dog!
I say yes, no and I say money, money,
money and I say turkey sandwich and I say grape juice.
- Carmen Miranda

I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter,
'Have you got frog's legs?' He said,
'Yes,' so I said,
'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'
- Tommy Cooper

If they had a social gospel in the days of the prodigal son,
somebody would have given him a bed and a sandwich
and he never would have gone home.
- Vance Havner

The small businessman is smart; he realizes there's no free lunch.
On the other hand, he knows where to go to get a good inexpensive sandwich.
- Adam Osborne

What I love is a peanut butter and pickle sandwich.
I'll just have peanut butter and bananas,
then peanut butter and pickles.
Peanut butter and chocolate I don't recommend.
- Dianne Wiest

Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
- Jack Benny

Too few people understand a really good sandwich.
- James Beard

You don't need a pack of wild horses to learn how to make a sandwich.
- Phil McGraw

I believe that if you don't want to do anything,
then sit there and don't do it, but don't expect people
to hand you a corn beef sandwich and wash your socks
for you and unzip your fly for you.
- Shel Silverstein

Saturday night is your big night.
Everybody used to fry up fish and have one hell of a time.
Find me playing till sunrise for 50 cents and a sandwich.
And be glad of it.
And they really liked the low-down blues.
- Muddy Waters

I think that every show on television has its place.
I think Married With Children or, I don't know,
The Nanny...
some people want to go home, turn on the TV and be
able to iron their clothes or grab a sandwich.
Come out and catch a joke and not have to follow the story.
- Peter Krause

Call me All-American, but I love Ham and Cheese sandwiches.
And not just any old ham and cheese sandwich...
My mother's is the best.
I've tried many times to make these sandwiches on my own,
but it's never the same.
- Andy Roddick

If you ever want to eat a tuna sandwich again,
don't go to a tuna factory.
I visited one where they had two lines:
one was the human food line and one was the cat food line -
and they didn't look any different.
- Mark Mobius

Sandwiches are wonderful.
You don't need a spoon or a plate!
- Paul Lynde

It has been well said that a hungry man is more interested
in four sandwiches than four freedoms.
- Henry Cabot Lodge, Jr.

Maybe there is no actual place called hell.
Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents
breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
- Jim Carrey

He's a couple sandwiches short of a picnic.
- Lance Bass

We used to wash our hair in buckets and survive on toasted sandwiches,
chocolates and soup.
- Joan Greenwood

When you make his sandwiches, put a sexy or loving note in his lunch box.
- Anne Rice

When I travel I normally eat club sandwiches or I bring my own food.
When you go into a new town, it's very had to find a good place to eat.
- Paul Prudhomme

You know, nobody eats in England.
Three or four pints of English beer a night fills you.
I can't say I'm very impressed with the food in America.
it's all sort of bland.
Like turkey sandwiches.
- Anne Dudley

I never thought I want to do anything,
really, except not go to work properly and turn up
at the same place every day and eat sandwiches in the same canteen,
if I can possibly help it, as I don't think I'd be very good at it.
- Dylan Moran

There is a curious relationship between a candidate
and the reporters who cover him.
It can be affected by small things like a competent press staff,
enough seats, sandwiches and briefings and the ability to understand deadlines.
- Ronald Steel

My parents would read those books to me as well but
they used to make me starving when I was a kid because
they were always eating ham sandwiches with the crusts
off and drinking ginger beer.
- Mike Myers

I lived at home and I cycled every morning to the railway
station to travel by train to Johannesburg followed
by a walk to the University,
carrying sandwiches for my lunch and returning in the evening the same way.
- Sydney Brenner

Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken

Do something wonderful, people may imitate it.
- Albert Schweitzer

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

Happy Birthday!
Today is YOUR day to Dance Lightly With Life.
Have a wonderful day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You have to leave the city of your comfort
and go into the wilderness of your intuition.
What you'll discover will be wonderful.
What you'll discover is yourself.
- Alan Alda

I'd rather have thirty minutes of wonderful
than a lifetime of nothing special.
- the movie Steel Magnolias

We live in a wonderful world that is
full of beauty, charm and adventure.
There is no end to the adventures that we can have
if only we seek them with our eyes open.
- Jawaharlal Nehru

A wonderful thing about a book, in contrast to a computer screen,
is that you can take it to bed with you.
- Daniel J. Boorstin

My hope is that 10 years from now, after I've been
across the street at work for a while,
they'll all be glad they gave me that wonderful vote.
- Sandra Day O'Connor

Someone who thinks the world is always cheating him is right.
He is missing that wonderful feeling of trust in someone or something.
- Eric Hoffer

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
- Ann Landers

Remember that not getting what you want
is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

You can design and create, and build the most wonderful place in the world.
But it takes people to make the dream a reality.
- Walt Disney

A wonderful gift may not be wrapped as you expect
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is lived in the mists -
little is fully visible, less is certain.
Yet rejoice in the unknowing,
and let all of life be a wonderful adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment
before starting to improve the world.
- Anne Frank

I say all that happens is wonderful.
- Anais Nin

Appreciation is a wonderful thing.
It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.
- Voltaire

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again,
so is a bicycle repair kit.
- Billy Connolly

I awakened. is that not a wonderful statement?
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Watching your husband become a father is really sexy and wonderful.
- Cindy Crawford

To the lover of wilderness,
Alaska is one of the most wonderful countries in the world.
- John Muir

The world is mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful.
- e. e. cummings

Each man's life touches so many other lives.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

Family life was wonderful.
The streets were bleak.
The playgrounds were bleak.
But home was always warm.
My mother and father had a great relationship.
I always felt 'safe' there.
- Robert Cormier

I've had two proposals since I've been a widow.
I am a wonderful catch, you know.
I have a lot of money.
- Ruth Rendell

Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who wants to live in an institution?
- Groucho Marx

Not getting what you want
is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
- Dalai Lama

This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday...
I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me -
Homeland Security.
- Art Buchwald

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the
moment you get up in the morning and does not stop
until you get into the office.
- Robert Frost

Home life's great, man.
The kids are great, happy and healthy.
I've reached this sort of wonderful precipice.
- Ryan Phillippe

It is wonderful to have Faith,
but don't confuse trust with being gullible.
Balance trust with conscious thought.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Determine never to be idle.
No person will have occasion to complain
of the want of time who never loses any.
It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.
- Thomas Jefferson

Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here
to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?
- Earl Wilson

You always get a special kick on opening day,
no matter how many you go through.
You look forward to it like a birthday party when you're a kid.
You think something wonderful is going to happen.
- Joe DiMaggio

Every time you hear a bell ring,
it means that some angel's just got his wings.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)


Thank you for visiting: Funny Sandwich Quotes - Funny Quotes about Sandwich.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sign-up for your free subscription to my Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote email.

Your E-Mail Address:
Your Name:

To confirm your subscription, you must click on a link in the email being sent to you.

Each email contains an unsubscribe link. We will NEVER sell, rent, loan, or abuse your email address in ANY way.


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.