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Let these funny Salute Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Our forces saved the remnants of the Jewish people of Europe
for a new life and a new hope in the reborn land of Israel.
Along with all men of good will,
I salute the young state and wish it well.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I offer you peace.
I offer you love.
I offer you friendship.
I see your beauty.
I hear your need.
I feel your feelings.
My wisdom flows from the Highest Source.
I salute that Source in you.
Let us work together for unity and love.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
What is the appropriate behavior for a man or a woman
in the midst of this world,
where each person is clinging to his piece of debris?
What's the proper salutation between people
as they pass each other in this flood?
- The Buddha
Don't think you can attain total awareness and whole enlightenment
without proper discipline and practice. This is egomania.
Appropriate rituals channel your emotions
and life energy toward the light.
Without the discipline to practice them,
you will tumble constantly backward into darkness.
- Lao Tzu
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Manage through the uncertainties.
Practice appropriate actions and participate in healthy choices.
Value and celebrate the loyalty of the individuals around you:
celebrate their competencies and successes, as well as your own.
Build up your circle and reinforce it at every opportunity.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
If the facts don't fit the theory,
change the facts.
- Albert Einstein
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau
Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor
Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
If you can't annoy somebody with what you write,
I think there's little point in writing.
- Kingsley Amis
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong
If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll
Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain
I don't think of all the misery
but of the beauty that still remains.
- Anne Frank
It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie
The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller
To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu
Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon
People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein
No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt
I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.
- Albert Einstein
Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie
The function of education is to teach one
to think intensively and to think critically.
Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
I am sorry to think that you do not get a man's
most effective criticism until you provoke him.
Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness.
- Henry David Thoreau
Who made the rule that life has to be so serious?
One would think that "life is serious" had been engraved
upon stone tablets to judge from how most lives are lived.
Get a life, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat - dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All truths are easy to understand
once they are discovered;
the point is to discover them.
- Galileo Galilei
The earth is like a spaceship
that didn't come with an operating manual.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Inspire people to do things for themselves.
Inspire people to think for themselves.
- Bono
The most erroneous stories are those
we think we know best -
and therefore never scrutinize or question.
- Stephen Jay Gould
Most of us are prisoners of habit,
and don't even notice that we do the same things,
think the same things, want the same things each day -
mostly without conscious thought.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We must dare to think "unthinkable" thoughts.
- J. W. Fulbright
The very nature of the world is constant change.
You set a goal and create a plan to achieve it;
then the assumptions on which you
based your plan change - they always do.
The challenge is to retain your goals
while adapting your tactics.
Relax and stay flexible in order to reach
your goals and maintain your happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When you keep getting the wrong answers,
try asking better questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz
Everything we say, do, think, and feel
is a product of our personal history
and the collective history of humankind.
Our name for these histories is "prejudice."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation
can be trusted to act humanely
or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
- Bertrand Russell
The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie,
deliberate, contrived and dishonest,
but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.
- John F. Kennedy
Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day;
live life to the fullest;
make the most of what you have.
It is later than you think.
- Horace
People do not like to think.
If one thinks, one must reach conclusions.
Conclusions are not always pleasant.
- Helen Keller
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.