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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Sales Quotes
Funny Quotes about Sales

Let these funny Sales Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever,
even if your whole world seems upset.
- Saint Francis de Sales

Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.
Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever,
even if your whole world seems upset.
- Saint Francis de Sales

Do not wish to be anything but what you are,
and try to be that perfectly.
- St. Francis De Sales

I am mortified to be told that, in the United States of America,
the sale of a book can become a subject of inquiry,
and of criminal inquiry too.
- Thomas Jefferson


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Great opportunities to help others seldom come,
but small ones surround us every day.
- Sally Koch

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill


 

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II

Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

New York City is a great monument
to the power of money and greed...
a race for rent.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality
by contact with this great novel land of yours
which sticks up out of the Atlantic.
- Winston Churchill

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
- John Lennon

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron

Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.
- Lewis Carroll

The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather

If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Silence is a source of great strength.
- Lao Tzu

The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Dare to dream of your great success.
Become intimate with those things
which deeply motivate you
and regularly work toward
the realization of that mission.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Great minds discuss ideas;
average minds discuss events;
small minds discuss people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
- John D. Rockefeller

Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks
as if they were great and noble.
- Helen Keller

The great end of life is not knowledge but action.
- Thomas Henry Huxley

Life in abundance comes only through great love.
- Elbert Hubbard

You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!
- Dr. Seuss

Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation
can be trusted to act humanely
or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
- Bertrand Russell

To be one, to be united is a great thing.
But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.
- Bono

Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a great big canvas,
and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
- Danny Kaye

I have a great deal of company in the house,
especially in the morning when nobody calls.
- Henry David Thoreau

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Dare to dream of your great success.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

No crime is so great as daring to excel.
- Winston Churchill

Regrets and resentments cause great suffering but fix nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In great contests, each party claims to act
in accordance with the will of God.
Both may be, and one must be wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln

It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness
of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
- Albert Einstein

Great indeed is the sublimity of the Creative,
to which all beings owe their beginning
and which permeates all heaven.
- Lao Tzu

Confidence is that feeling by which the mind embarks
in great and honorable courses
with a sure hope and trust in itself.
- Marcus Tullius Cicero

Death comes to all,
but great achievements build a monument
which shall endure until the sun grows cold.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Great works are performed not by strength,
but by perseverance.
- Samuel Johnson

To be oneself is a rare thing, and a great one.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

It is a great confidence in a friend
to tell him your faults;
greater to tell him his.
- Benjamin Franklin

Know that the essence of life is not
in the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

These are the keys to a great life...
taking oneself lightly, forgiveness, and acceptance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Small opportunities are often
the beginning of great enterprises.
- Demosthenes

If the misery of the poor be caused
not by the laws of nature,
but by our institutions,
great is our sin.
- Charles Darwin

Life is about more than today, and more than yourself.
What will your legacy be?
What will your great-grandchildren be told about you?
Creating a legacy does not have to be a burden,
it can be your joy and can create
your satisfaction with living each day.
What kind of world do you want to leave your great-grandchildren?
What can you do today to help create that world?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The wicked leader is he who the people despise.
The good leader is he who the people revere.
The great leader is he who the people say, "We did it ourselves."
- Lao Tzu

All difficult things have
their origin in that which is easy,
and great things in that which is small.
- Lao Tzu

Until you'll willing to look foolish,
you'll never have the possibility of being great.
- Cher

Great oaks from little acorns grow.
- Proverb

Great minds have purposes others have wishes.
- Washington Irving

Great men or men of great gifts
you shall easily find,
but symmetrical men never.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Two Great Lessons of Life: Choose Love & Trust God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

As many raindrops join to form a great river of water,
many souls join their highest intent to form
the river of evolved consciousness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A great part of courage is the courage
of having done the thing before.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Wealth consists not in having great possessions,
but in having few wants.
- Epictetus

Great hearts steadily send forth the secret forces
that incessantly draw great events.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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