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Let these funny Rocking Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Worrying is like a rocking chair,
it gives you something to do,
but it gets you nowhere.
- Glenn Turner
I don't know which will go first - rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie"
until you can find a rock.
- Will Rogers
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Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink.
I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right.
We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon
In matters of style, swim with the current;
in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
- Thomas Jefferson
A true friend is a rock upon whom you can depend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In the confrontation between the stream and the rock,
the stream always wins -
not through strength but by perseverance.
- The Buddha
The River of Life knows no obstacles.
The River can cut through solid rock - in its own time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
As a rock star, I have two instincts,
I want to have fun, and I want to change the world.
I have a chance to do both.
- Bono
The way lies in softness and patience,
as the softest water cuts through the hardest rock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The River of Life can cut through solid rock - in its own time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer;
my God, my strength, in whom I will trust.
- Psalm 18:2
Rock 'n' roll is ridiculous. It's absurd.
In the past, U2 was trying to duck that.
Now we're wrapping our arms around it and giving it a great big kiss.
- Bono
The River of Life has no judgments.
The River flows with no concept of good and bad - right and wrong.
The fields and dreams of men may be nourished by the River of Life,
or flooded and covered with silt, and the River just flows.
Men may catch fish and live on the River of Life,
or they may founder in a storm and drown, and the River just flows.
The River of Life is timeless.
It is not unchanging, but it is timeless,
and it changes in its own time.
The River of Life knows no obstacles.
The River can cut through solid rock - in its own time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you tried to give rock and roll another name,
you might call it "Chuck Berry."
- John Lennon
Laws are sand, customs are rock.
Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped,
but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
The penalty may be unfair, unrighteous, illogical, and a cruelty;
no matter, it will be inflicted, just the same.
Certainly, then, there can be but one wise thing
for a visiting stranger to do -
find out what the country's customs are,
and refrain from offending against them.
- Mark Twain
Don't dream it, be it.
- the movie Rocky Horror Picture Show
I despise people who go to the gutter
on either the right or the left
and hurl rocks at those in the center.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Anchoring in soft mud is dangerous.
Anchor thyself to the rocks of Faith, Compassion, and Service.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Personally, I have fond memories of playing
on slippery rocks on the banks of a rushing river
as a child and hitchhiking in college.
To those who say, "But times are different now,"
I reply that statistically life is much safer now
than in the 1950s, with regard to both crime and accidents.
What has changed is our attitudes.
In those years, a broken leg from falling off a swing
or the back of a tractor was just part of childhood -
an excuse for gathering autographs.
Today that broken leg would be a source
of outrage and probably lawsuits.
I long for a simpler time when life was taken less seriously.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I'm saving that rocker for the day
when I feel as old as I really am.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
A quotation is a handy thing to have about,
saving one the trouble of thinking for oneself.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Start living now.
Stop saving the good china
for that special occasion.
Stop withholding your love
until that special person materializes.
Every day you are alive is a special occasion.
Every minute, every breath, is a gift from God.
- Mary Manin Morrissey
Do not let spacious plans for a new world
divert your energies from saving
what is left of the old.
- Winston Churchill
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor
If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra
Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of ...
about me not listening to her, or something.
I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.
- the movie Dumb & Dumber (1994)
You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
I feel the need to express something,
but I don't know what it is I want to express.
- the movie Interiors
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world.
I know because I've done it thousands of times.
- Mark Twain
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
Know that the greatest fear is fear of the unknown.
Seek to meet the unknown with courage and a sense of adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin
I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein
The most difficult thing in the world
is to know how to do a thing
and to watch somebody else doing it wrong,
without comment.
- Theodore. H. White
I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man,
and I hate people like that!
- Tom Lehrer
Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
- Mark Twain
There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong
If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra
I refuse to answer that question
on the grounds that I don't know the answer
- Douglas Adams
Is it ignorance or apathy?
Hey, I don't know and I don't care.
- Jimmy Buffett
There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer
There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
- John Lennon
You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous
One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
You wanna know the meaning of life?
Fugedaboudit - It ain't happnin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill
Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain
Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge:
it is those who know little, and not those who know much,
who so positively assert that this or that problem
will never be solved by science.
- Charles Darwin
You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie
To know God, watch a butterfly return to the same tree -
after a year and a thousand miles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump
If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.