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Funny Resort Quotes
Funny Quotes about Resort

Let these funny Resort Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Thinking is what most people resort to after all else fails.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The strongest reason for the people
to retain the right to keep and bear arms is,
as a last resort, to protect themselves
against tyranny in government.
- Thomas Jefferson

Resort is had to ridicule only when reason is against us.
- Thomas Jefferson

I have treated many hundreds of patients.
Among those in the second half of life -
that is to say, over 35 -
there has not been one whose problem in the last resort
was not that of finding a religious outlook on life.
- Carl Jung


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There should be an honest attempt at the reconciliation
of differences before resorting to combat.
- Jimmy Carter

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer


 

Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill

I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks

I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde

People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

It is an open question whether any behavior
based on fear of eternal punishment
can be regarded as ethical
or should be regarded as merely cowardly.
- Margaret Mead

Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous

The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing,
and should be treated with caution.
- J. K. Rowling

The Ought-To Need-To Tango:
I am racked with the guilt and the pain of I should,
and I ought, and I can't, but I must.
I can't rest; I can't sleep; I'm just not understood,
and I hate that the world is unjust.
I have work; I have woes; I have troubles for life;
but I don't have a ME that I trust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp

If a man is proud of his wealth,
he should not be praised until it is known how he employs it.
- Socrates

You either do it completely and utterly,
or you should stop doing it.
- Bono (paraphrase)

Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank

I've learned that you should always
leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
- Anonymous

Life is a great big canvas,
and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
- Danny Kaye

Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Everyone should carefully observe
which way his heart draws him,
and then choose that way with all his strength.
- Hasidic Proverb

Those who have come here to hate should leave now;
for in their hate, they only betray themselves.
- Terry Goodkind

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Could we change our attitude,
we should not only see life differently,
but life itself would be different.
- Katherine Mansfield

It is more dangerous that even
a guilty person should be punished
without the forms of law
than that he should escape.
- Thomas Jefferson

Commerce with all nations,
alliance with none,
should be our motto.
- Thomas Jefferson

No one should ever sit in this office over 70 years old,
and that I know.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I think, at a child's birth,
if a mother could ask a fairy godmother
to endow it with the most useful gift,
that gift should be curiosity.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

If a man does not make new acquaintances
as he advances through life,
he will soon find himself alone.
A man, sir, should keep his friendships in constant repair.
- Samuel Johnson

I surrender to life as it is, not as it should be.
- Richard Carlson

It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died.
Rather we should thank God that such men lived.
- George S. Patton

A Bill of Rights is what the people are
entitled to against every government,
and what no just government should refuse, or rest on inference.
- Thomas Jefferson

If there is one principle more deeply rooted
in the mind of every American,
it is that we should have nothing to do with conquest.
- Thomas Jefferson

It is curious - curious that physical courage
should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare
- Mark Twain

Things should be made as simple as possible, but not any simpler.
- Albert Einstein

Books and friends should be few but good.
- Anonymous

How often I found where I should be going
only by setting out for somewhere else.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

If the stars should appear
but one night every thousand years
how man would marvel and stare.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The school is the last expenditure upon which America
should be willing to economize.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Every man should have a fair-sized cemetery
in which to bury the faults of his friends.
- Henry Brooks Adams

There is NOTHING that I "must",
"have to", or "should" do today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Faith keeps many doubts in her pay.
If I could not doubt, I should not believe.
- Henry David Thoreau

Form follows function - that has been misunderstood.
Form and function should be one, joined in a spiritual union.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

NO ONE has been granted the authority to tell me
how my life should be lived.
I answer only to myself and to Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do not do unto others
as you expect they should do unto you.
Their tastes may not be the same.
- George Bernard Shaw

I think with the Romans, that the general of today
should be a soldier tomorrow if necessary.
- Thomas Jefferson

The essence of philosophy is that a man should so live
that his happiness shall depend
as little as possible on external things.
- Epictetus

No idea is so outlandish that it should not be considered
with a searching but at the same time a steady eye.
- Winston Churchill

A friend should be a master at guessing and keeping still.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

You should not confuse your career with your life.
- Dave Barry

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
- Albert Einstein

We should not pretend to understand the world
only by the intellect.
The judgment of the intellect
is only part of the truth.
- Carl Jung


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.