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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Relieving Quotes
Funny Quotes about Relieving

Let these funny Relieving Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Honor your past, and all the consequences of that past.
Receive insight into relieving the pain
caused by past experiences and current attitudes toward life.
Observe life as it currently appears,
and then train yourself to observe life
from other perspectives that support a higher quality of living.
Re-consider your priorities.
Chart your Course.
Set Sail with Courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Know that unconditional forgiveness
holds immense power to relieve your suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil
to one who is striking at the root,
and it may be that he who bestows the largest amount
of time and money on the needy
is doing the most by his mode of life
to produce that misery
which he strives in vain to relieve.
- Henry David Thoreau

A man is relieved and gay when he has
put his heart into his work and done his best;
but what he has said or done otherwise
shall give him no peace.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


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Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin


 

Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,
the first of which is to be flexible at all times.
- Everett Dirksen

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West

Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

The civilized man has built a coach,
but has lost the use of his feet.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein

When I hear a man preach,
I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.
- Abraham Lincoln

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer

We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard

I don't advise a haircut, man.
All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
Hairs are your aerials.
They pick up signals from the cosmos,
and transmit them directly into the brain.
This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
- the movie Withnail & I

Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

You can always tell when a man's well informed.
His views are pretty much like your own.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Stay hopeless and confused. Keep polishing those skills.
- the movie When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau

I like a man who grins when he fights.
- Winston Churchill

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh

I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Man tends to treat all of his opinions as principles.
- Herbert Sebastian Agar

If it keeps up, man will atrophy
all his limbs but the push-button finger.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

Show me a sane man, and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Jung


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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