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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Relativity Quotes
Funny Quotes about Relativity

Let these funny Relativity Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

It is an interesting question how far men
would retain their relative rank
if they were divested of their clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

A system of morality which is based
on relative emotional values
is a mere illusion, a thoroughly vulgar conception
which has nothing sound in it and nothing true.
- Socrates


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We do not grow absolutely, chronologically.
We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another, unevenly.
We grow partially. We are relative.
We are mature in one realm, childish in another.
- Anais Nin

Nobody has ever asked the nuclear family to live
all by itself in a box the way we do.
With no relatives, no support,
we've put it in an impossible situation.
- Margaret Mead

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.
- Euripides


 

Give to your relatives, and to the needy, and to travelers.
Do not squander your wealth in wantonness.
- Quran 17:26

If the Great Way perishes, there will be morality and duty.
When cleverness and knowledge arise, great lies will flourish.
When relatives fall out with one another,
there will be filial duty and love.
When states are in confusion there will be faithful servants.
- Lao Tzu

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken

Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Where large sums of money are concerned,
it is advisable to trust nobody.
- Agatha Christie

Nobody can hurt me without my permission.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Nobody can bring you peace but yourself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

You can't stop the music, nobody can stop the music.
- Village People

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
- Satchel Paige

I have a great deal of company in the house,
especially in the morning when nobody calls.
- Henry David Thoreau

One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody.
- Mother Teresa

Nobody, as long as he moves about
among the chaotic currents of life,
is without trouble.
- Carl Jung

Existence needs you.
Without you, something will be missing
in existence and nobody can replace it.
Thats what gives you dignity,
that the whole existence will miss you.
- Osho

Do what nobody else can do for you.
Omit to do anything else.
- Henry David Thoreau

A somebody was once a nobody who wanted to and did.
- John Burroughs

Nobody ever gets to see what could have been.
- the 2010 movie Charlie St. Cloud

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment
before starting to improve the world.
- Anne Frank

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Sing like no one's listening,
love like you've never been hurt,
dance like nobody's watching,
and live like its heaven on earth.
- Mark Twain

Nobody cares how much you know,
until they know how much you care.
- attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, among others,
but probably earlier and anonymous

An error does not become truth
by reason of multiplied propagation,
nor does truth become error because nobody sees it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
- Dave Barry

Nobody needs your help.
I know, I know, this is a difficult one. But it is true.
This does not mean no one wants your help,
or that no one could use your help.
It simply means the thought that another
Aspect of Divinity is powerless without you is inaccurate.
- Neale Donald Walsch

We are not going to be able
to operate our Spaceship Earth
successfully nor for much longer
unless we see it as a whole spaceship
and our fate as common.
It has to be everybody or nobody.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

There is nobody in this country who got rich on their own. Nobody. You built a factory out there - good for you. But I want to be clear. You moved your goods to market on roads the rest of us paid for. You hired workers the rest of us paid to educate. You were safe in your factory because of police forces and fire forces that the rest of us paid for. You didn't have to worry that marauding bands would come and seize everything at your factory... Now look. You built a factory and it turned into something terrific or a great idea - God bless! Keep a hunk of it. But part of the underlying social contract is you take a hunk of that and pay forward for the next kid who comes along."
- Elizabeth Warren

In this world, the greatest courage is to drop the mind aside.
The bravest man is who can see the world
without the barrier of the mind, just as it is.
It is tremendously different, utterly beautiful.
There is nobody who is inferior and there is nobody who is superior -
there are no distinctions.
- Osho

The basic thing nobody asks is
why do people take drugs of any sort?
Why do we have these accessories to normal living to live?
I mean, is there something wrong with society
that's making us so pressurized,
that we cannot live without guarding ourselves against it?
- John Lennon

A fool is one who goes on trusting;
a fool is one who goes on trusting against all his experience.
You deceive him, and he trusts you;
and you deceive him again, and he trusts you;
and you deceive him again, and he trusts you.
Then you will say that he is a fool, he does not learn.
His trust is tremendous; his trust is
so pure that nobody can corrupt it.
Be a fool in the Taoist sense, in the Zen sense.
Don't try to create a wall of knowledge around you.
Whatsoever experience comes to you,
let it happen, and then go on dropping it.
Go on cleaning your mind continuously;
go on dying to the past so you remain in the present here-now,
as if just born, just a babe.
- Osho

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation.
- Khalil Gibran

Life is far too important a thing
ever to talk seriously about.
- Oscar Wilde

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn

We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins

I consider my greatest accomplishment to be lifelong celibacy.
- Isaac Newton
(discoverer of the laws of gravitation and motion,
famous mathematician, and perhaps the greatest scientist ever)

Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor

Sometimes I wonder if we shall ever grow up
in our politics and say definite things which mean something,
or whether we shall always go on using generalities
to which everyone can subscribe, and which mean very little.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal

Grant That I May Radiate Thy Light, Thy Love,
Thy Healing, Thy Joy, and Thy Peace,
to All Those Around Me
and All Those in My Thoughts
This Day and Ever More.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I say NO to the demands of the world.
I say YES to the longings of my own heart.
There is nothing I ever need to have.
There is nothing I ever need to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
- Robert F. Kennedy

Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world.
For, indeed, that's all who ever have.
- Margaret Mead

Life is greater than you have ever known it.
- Ernest Holmes

Do you ever question why our educational system
teaches competition rather than cooperation?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We never see Life as it really is.
All we can ever see is the reflection of Life -
distorted by our unique perceptions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt

No person was ever honored for what he received.
Honor has been the reward for what he gave.
- Calvin Coolidge

Life is now.
There was never a time when your life was not now,
nor will there ever be.
- Eckhart Tolle

Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves.
But deep down below the surface of the average conscience
a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.
- Carl Jung

Relax. Take a day off.
Go for a long silent walk in the woods.
The world will still be there tomorrow -
as good and as bad as ever.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We must free ourselves of the hope
that the sea will ever rest.
We must learn to sail in high winds.
- Aristotle Onassis

The road to perdition has ever been
accompanied by lip service to an ideal.
- Albert Einstein

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
- C. S. Lewis

Suffering is everywhere. Don't ever think it isn't.
So are miracles. Don't ever think they aren't.
- Jewel

I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together,
keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people stay for awhile,
and move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to a new understanding,
leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same.
- Flavia Weedn

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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