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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Regardless Quotes
Funny Quotes about Regardless

Let these funny Regardless Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Life is NOT "Supposed to be Fair."
Know that there is no single way that life is "supposed" to be.
Demanding that life meet our expectations
is a sure fire recipe for a miserable existence.
Life is a game with no rules.
Life just happens to us regardless of our best intentions.
Our only path to happiness lies in being open
to receiving whatever life throws at us -
with Gratitude. Have NO Expectations of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You CAN do what you are committed to do -
regardless of how difficult it seems.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Take responsibility for your whole life -
regardless of circumstances.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every loving thought is true.
Everything else is an appeal for healing and help,
regardless of the form it takes.
- A Course In Miracles


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Know that you can always choose your own inner peace -
regardless of circumstances.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The quality of a man's life is in direct proportion
to his commitment to excellence,
regardless of his chosen field of endeavor.
- Vince Lombardi

Faith is the great affirmative power that
says "yes" to the infinite goodness of life -
regardless of appearances. We all have within us
the potential for mountain-moving faith,
but we must take the steps necessary to activate it.
- Mary Omwake


 

Happiness comes when I remember that others' opinions of me
are just their opinions - nothing more.
I find happiness in moving toward my goals
regardless of the applause or the jeers of others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What if happiness were found in the serenity of simple pleasures.
What if we didn't need the newest gizmo... the highest high?
What if happiness is in the air we breathe...
slowly, deeply, and consciously?
What if happiness is one fresh grape, savored with gratitude?
What if happiness is in our oneness with all creation?
What if happiness is about enjoying life exactly as it comes to us -
without chasing after it?
What if happiness is something we CHOOSE...
regardless of our circumstances?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

While you can and should keep your composure and happiness
regardless of circumstances - regardless of your friends,
family and co-workers - regardless of gossip, sarcasm, and negativity.
Nonetheless, life is much easier and more pleasant
when you spend as much time as possible
in the company of enthusiastic positive people -
not necessarily those who agree with you,
but those who respect your right to your point of view.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am the owner of my choices.
I am the source for the perspectives I choose to hold...
regardless of how aware I am of why or how I come to possess
that particular perspective.
It takes courage to look into the mirror of our souls, absent excuses.
I will look into that mirror little bits at a time.
SEE and ACT. SEE what I can bear to see and ACT upon what I am able.
This is the heart of a gentle invitation to personal responsibility.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Each of us is of infinite value,
and each of us has the ability to make
a profound difference in the lives we touch.
We leave our most profoundly positive impact
on those around us by the nature of our lives
and the example we set -
not by how busy we are,
or how important we believe we are.
Setting an example of being loving, relaxed and joyful,
regardless of external circumstances,
is a great legacy for our family and for the world.
Self importance - ego - is not a path to happiness.
Focusing one's whole life on responsibilities,
without taking time for self-renewal and play,
abandons the joy and the true value of life.
I want my tombstone to read, "Inspired others,"
rather than, "Never missed a day at the office."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Suppose our gratitude could be zero-based gratitude.
With zero-based gratitude,
we would be grateful for everything we had each day -
regardless of whether it was more or less than yesterday.
With zero-based gratitude, I can be grateful for all the people,
the love, the food, the shelter, the services,
the health, that I am blessed with today,
regardless of what I had yesterday.
With zero-based gratitude,
I can be grateful each day for the gift of life itself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

Yesterday is like a dung heap;
you can complain about the smell,
or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous

You know what? Maybe there's a good reason
donkeys shouldn't talk.
- the movie Shrek (2001)

Where did you park the invisible car?
- the movie Megamind (2010)

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome.
Then, of course, you spoke.
- the movie As Good As It Gets (1997)

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous

Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous

Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain

Thank you, gentlemen. Someday I will repay you,
unless of course I can't find you, or if I forget.
- the movie Shrek 2

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
- Mark Twain

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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