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Let these funny Reforming Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
The church is always trying to get other people to reform;
it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little,
by way of example.
- Mark Twain
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Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
After fifteen minutes I wanted to marry her,
and after half an hour
I completely gave up the idea of stealing her purse.
- the movie Take the Money and Run (1969)
One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde
Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous
By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
and that is a good thing for any man.
- Socrates
Don't marry the person you think you can live with;
marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
- James C. Dobson
You don't marry someone you can live with,
you marry the person who you cannot live without.
- Anonymous
I didn't want to marry anybody else in town.
I want my baby to look like you.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
- Marilyn Monroe
Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead
Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin
The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II
I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead
I'm always rather nervous about how you talk
about women who are active in politics,
whether they want to be talked about as women or as politicians.
- John F. Kennedy
Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior.
- Socrates
The real ornament of woman is her character, her purity.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Well-behaved women seldom make history.
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure.
I make mistakes, I am out of control
and at times hard to handle.
But if you can't handle me at my worst,
then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
- Marilyn Monroe
My decision to register women confirms what is already obvious
throughout our society -
that women are now providing
all types of skills in every profession.
The military should be no exception.
- Jimmy Carter
To a philosopher all news,
as it is called, is gossip,
and they who edit and read it
are old women over their tea.
- Henry David Thoreau
I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness.
- Anais Nin
Women are like teabags.
We don't know our true strength
until we are in hot water!
- Eleanor Roosevelt
The battle for the individual rights of women is one of long standing
and none of us should countenance anything which undermines it.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Many societies have educated their male children
on the simple device of teaching them not to be women.
- Margaret Mead
Men have always detested women's gossip
because they suspect the truth:
their measurements are being taken and compared.
- Erica Jong
Love men and women not for their strength
but their softness,
not for their fullness but their hunger,
not for their plenty but their need.
- Anais Nin
(paraphrase)
Whenever a man or women is truly inspired,
it is because the same One Universal Spirit
is doing the inspiring.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Men kick friendship around like a football,
but it doesn't seem to crack.
Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh
If sex and creativity are often
seen by dictators as subversive activities,
it's because they lead to the knowledge
that you own your own body
(and with it your own voice), and that's
the most revolutionary insight of all.
- Erica Jong
Women must pay for everything.
They do get more glory than men for comparable feats,
but, they also get more notoriety when they crash.
- Amelia Earhart
The difference between men friends and women friends
is that men tend to do things together,
women tend to just be together.
- Art Jahnke
Achievement seems to be connected with action.
Successful men and women keep moving.
They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
- Conrad Hilton
Men and women are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
I have thought a sufficient measure of civilization
is the influence of good women.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
If I am happy in spite of my deprivations,
if my happiness is so deep that it is a faith,
so thoughtful that it becomes a philosophy of life.
If, in short, I am an optimist,
my testimony to the creed of optimism is worth hearing.
- Helen Keller
...
Helen Keller (1880-1968) overcame being both deaf and blind
to become a famous author, lecturer, and activist
for women's suffrage, workers' rights, and ending war.
We must make it clear that a platform
of "I hate gay men and women'
is not a way to become president of the United States.
- Jimmy Carter
Women must try to do things as men have tried.
When they fail their failure must be
but a challenge to others.
- Amelia Earhart
I, with a deeper instinct,
choose a man who compels my strength,
who makes enormous demands on me,
who does not doubt my courage or my toughness,
who does not believe me naive or innocent,
who has the courage to treat me like a woman.
- Anais Nin
Friendship is not possible between two women
one of whom is very well dressed.
- Laurie Colwin
Man can never know the kind of loneliness a woman knows.
Man lies in a woman's womb only to gather strength,
he nourishes himself from this fusion,
and then he rises and goes into the world,
into his work, into battle, into art.
He is not lonely. He is busy.
The memory of the swim in amniotic fluid gives him energy, completion.
The woman may be busy too, but she feels empty.
Sensuality for her is not only a wave of pleasure
in which she has bathed,
and a charge of electric joy at contact with another.
When man lies in her womb, she is fulfilled,
each act of love a a taking of man within her,
an act of birth and rebirth, of child-bearing and man-bearing.
Man lies in her womb and is reborn each time anew
with a desire to act, to BE.
But for woman, the climax is not in the birth,
but in the moment the man rests inside of her.
- Anais Nin
Obviously I faced the possibility of not returning
when first I considered going.
Once faced and settled there really wasn't
any good reason to refer to it.
- Amelia Earhart
Please know that I am aware of the hazards.
I want to do it because I want to do it.
Women must try to do things as men have tried.
When they fail, their failure must be a challenge to others.
- Amelia Earhart
Too often the great decisions are originated and given form
in bodies made up wholly of men, or so completely dominated
by them that whatever of special value women
have to offer is shunted aside without expression.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
There are practical little things in housekeeping
which no man really understands.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Man can never be a woman's equal
in the spirit of selfless service
with which nature has endowed her.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The woman who can create her own job
is the woman who will win fame and fortune.
- Amelia Earhart
A woman under stress is not immediately concerned
with finding solutions to her problems
but rather seeks relief
by expressing herself and being understood.
- John Gray
Here in America we are descended in blood
and in spirit from revolutionists and rebels.
Men and women who dare to dissent from accepted doctrine.
As their heirs, may we never confuse
honest dissent with disloyal subversion.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
All successful people men and women are big dreamers.
They imagine what their future could be,
ideal in every respect,
and then they work every day toward
their distant vision,
that goal or purpose.
- Brian Tracy
I have no dress except the one I wear every day.
If you are going to be kind enough to give me one,
please let it be practical and dark
so that I can put it on afterwards to go to the laboratory.
- Marie Curie
The basic discovery about any people is the discovery
of the relationship between men and women.
- Pearl S. Buck
I have frequently been questioned, especially by women,
of how I could reconcile family life with a scientific career.
Well, it has not been easy.
- Marie Curie
How wrong is it for women to expect
the man to build the world she wants,
rather than set out to create it herself.
- Anais Nin
All men and women are born, live, suffer and die;
what distinguishes us one from another is our dreams,
whether they be dreams about worldly or unworldly things,
and what we do to make them come about.
We do not choose to be born.
We do not choose our parents.
We do not choose our historical epoch,
the country of our birth,
or the immediate circumstances of our upbringing.
We do not, most of us, choose to die;
nor do we choose the time and conditions of our death.
But within this realm of choicelessness, we do choose how we live.
- Joseph Epstein
All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.
- William Shakespeare
The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.
- Joseph Campbell
Know that the greatest fear is fear of the unknown.
Seek to meet the unknown with courage and a sense of adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek,
but a means by which we arrive at that goal.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Seek first to understand,
then to be understood.
- Stephen Covey
Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi
We live in a wonderful world that is
full of beauty, charm and adventure.
There is no end to the adventures that we can have
if only we seek them with our eyes open.
- Jawaharlal Nehru
Do not seek the because -
in love there is no because,
no reason, no explanation, no solutions.
- Anais Nin
Your task is not to seek for love,
but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself
that you have built against it.
- A Course In Miracles (commonly misattributed to Rumi)
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.