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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Quickest Quotes
Funny Quotes about Quickest

Let these funny Quickest Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it -
that is the quickest and surest way
ever yet discovered to conquer fear.
- Dale Carnegie

We win justice quickest by rendering
justice to the other party.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Wishing to be friends is quick work,
but friendship is a slow ripening fruit.
- Aristotle

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall


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If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus

Life is short,
Break the Rules.
Forgive quickly,
Kiss SLOWLY.
Love truly.
Laugh uncontrollably
And never regret
ANYTHING
That makes you smile
- Mark Twain

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people stay for awhile,
and move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to a new understanding,
leave footprints on our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same.
- Flavia Weedn


 

Between believing a thing and thinking you KNOW
is only a small step and quickly taken.
- Mark Twain

You have a row of dominoes set up;
you knock over the first one,
and what will happen to the last one
is that it will go over very quickly.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

At the beginning of a relationship
we are attracted to the other person because
we think they are sexy, smart, funny -
whatever it is that we find appealing.
But very quickly, the focus of the relationship
turns to whether we feel appreciated.
If we don't feel appreciated, we don't feel loved.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Most people think that anger is an instinctive response,
and that some people were just born with the temperament
to get angrier faster than others.
That statement is only half right.
Anger is an instinctive response.
We respond to an affront with anger essentially instantaneously -
much too quickly for conscious thought to be called upon.
But the instinct of the anger response
can be trained through conscious repetition,
visualization, and coaching.
Visualization is seeing the event
we desire to master in our mind's eye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is what life is all about.
When I desire for the future to arrive quickly,
I become unable to savor today.
I can't live in tomorrow, and when I focus
all my energies on the future, I shortchange today.
Likewise, fearing the future emasculates today,
leaving it dry and lifeless.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

It takes a big cat to be number 2.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll

Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov

You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Joy is a choice - but it isn't an easy choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary "rules" about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a succession of lessons
which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller

One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau

I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche

I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein

Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha

A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson

Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln

She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll

Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda

The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson

The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale

The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.