Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Funny Puts Quotes
Funny Quotes about Puts

Let these funny Puts Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Doing an injury puts you below your enemy;
revenging one make you but even with him;
forgiving it sets you above him.
- Benjamin Franklin [attributed]

Nature puts no question and answers none which we mortals ask.
She has long ago taken her resolution.
- Henry David Thoreau

There are other measures of self-respect for a man,
than the number of clean shirts he puts on every day.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mankind must put an end to war
before war puts an end to mankind.
- John F. Kennedy


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


The light which puts out our eyes is darkness to us.
Only that day dawns to which we are awake.
There is more day to dawn.
The sun is but a morning star.
- Henry David Thoreau

You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin


 

The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life.
Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.
- Albert Einstein

Ending a sentence with a preposition is
something up with which I will not put.
- Winston Churchill

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett

When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor

Few things are harder to put up with
than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain

Never put off till tomorrow
what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain

Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow,
you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton

It is easier to put on slippers
than to carpet the entire world
- Al Franken

My Mama always said you've got to put the past behind you
before you can move on.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Wise men put their trust in ideas
and not in circumstances
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A man is relieved and gay when he has
put his heart into his work and done his best;
but what he has said or done otherwise
shall give him no peace.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is utterly false and cruelly arbitrary
to put all the play and learning into childhood,
all the work into middle age,
and all the regrets into old age.
- Margaret Mead

When you put on a uniform,
there are certain inhibitions that you accept.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Put some distance between yourself
and whatever is concerning you.
Distance in space or time
always creates a new perspective.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What's the use of a fine house if you haven't got
a tolerable planet to put it on?
- Henry David Thoreau

What I recognized is that you can't put it together.
It's already together, and what you have to do
is experience it being together.
- Werner Erhard

Are creeds such simple things like the clothes
which a man can change at will - and put on at will?
Creeds are such for which people live for ages and ages.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Simply put, mindfulness is moment-to-moment non-judgmental awareness.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn

Non-violence is not a garment to be put on and off at will.
Its seat is in the heart,
and it must be an inseparable part of our being.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Gardening is all about optimism.
I put a seed in the ground.
I consistently tend it,
confident I will see the results, in time,
of the nurture I have provided.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Never put passion before principle.
Even if win, you lose.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid 2

Put on your own oxygen mask first.
- Airline companies

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.
- Thomas Jefferson
(also attributed to Benjamin Franklin and Lord Chesterfield)

Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.
- Abraham Lincoln

It is not the magnitude of our actions
but the amount of love
that is put into them that matters.
- Mother Teresa

If you want to be happy,
put your effort into controlling the sail, not the wind.
- Anonymous

Anyone can heal who believes that he can
and will take the time to put that belief into motion.
- Ernest Holmes

Reality is what you believe it to be.
It's what you put your thought and energy into,
because your hands physically manifest thought.
So your world becomes what you feel and what you think.
- Jewel

Only put off until tomorrow
what you are willing to die having left undone.
- Pablo Picasso

Nobody has ever asked the nuclear family to live
all by itself in a box the way we do.
With no relatives, no support,
we've put it in an impossible situation.
- Margaret Mead

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths,
but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.
- Anne Frank

You only get out what you put in.
- Anonymous

No duty the Executive had to perform was so trying
as to put the right man in the right place.
- Thomas Jefferson

If you have built castles in the air,
your work need not be lost;
that is where they should be.
Now put foundations under them.
- Henry David Thoreau

Believe that none of the effort you put
into coming closer to God is ever wasted -
even if in the end you don't achieve
what you are striving for.
- Rebbe Nachman of Breslov

Love wasn't put in your heart to stay.
Love isn't love until you give it away.
- Michael W. Smith

Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others,
you should put a good deal of thought
into the happiness that you are able to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Let us honor all children,
and put ourselves into service
preparing a magnificent
earthly home for future generations.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can do anything you put your mind to.
- Anonymous

An idea that is developed and put into action
is more important than
an idea that exists only as an idea.
- The Buddha

One is taught by experience to put a premium
on those few people who can appreciate you for what you are.
- Gail Godwin

I put aside personal preferences and step forward to be of service.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Angry and happy don't mix.
Flush out the angry,
and the happy has a place to put down roots.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Only love has the ability to put you in that state of bliss
- don Miguel Ruiz

Simply put, you believe that things
or people make you unhappy,
but this is not accurate.
You make yourself unhappy.
- Wayne Dyer

Who were you before you put yourself last.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Do not worry if you have built your castles in the air.
They are where they should be.
Now put the foundations under them.
- Henry David Thoreau

In a very real sense, it will not be one man going to the moon,
it will be an entire nation.
For all of us must work to put him there.
- John F. Kennedy

If you paint in your mind a picture of
bright and happy expectations,
you put yourself into a condition conducive to your goal.
- Norman Vincent Peale

We believe that if men have the talent
to invent new machines that put men out of work,
they have the talent to put those men back to work.
- John F. Kennedy

Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do...
but how much love we put in that action.
- Mother Teresa

We all have a social mask, right?
We put it on, we go out, put our
best foot forward, our best image.
But behind that social mask is a personal truth,
what we really, really believe
about who we are and what we're capable of.
- Phil McGraw

Laugh at yourself and at life.
Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity,
but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain,
cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective
that seemingly terrible defeat and worry
with laughter at your predicaments,
thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution
that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.
- Og Mandino

It is better to lead from behind
and to put others in front,
especially when you celebrate victory
when nice things occur.
You take the front line when there is danger.
Then people will appreciate your leadership.
- Nelson Mandela

Geography has made us neighbors.
History has made us friends.
Economics has made us partners,
and necessity has made us allies.
Those whom God has so joined together,
let no man put asunder.
- John F. Kennedy

Use heroes as a springboard for inquiry
into the identity and nature of admirably human qualities.
Do not judge heroes -
neither to put them unquestioningly on a pedestal
nor to unkindly probe their flaws.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

How true Daddy's words were when he said:
all children must look after their own upbringing.
Parents can only give good advice
or put them on the right paths,
but the final forming of a person's character
lies in their own hands.
- Anne Frank

Preserve me, O God: for in thee do I put my trust.
- Psalm 16:1

During his training, a baseball player strives
to make each swing better than the last.
The repetition of a faulty swing would be worse than useless.
It would ingrain bad habits.
The same is true of emotional responses.
If we allow ourselves to continue to have the same angry responses,
we just entrench our anger habit.
But if we strive - through consciousness, visualization, and coaching -
to moderate our anger response,
over time, we can train ourselves to respond
to events as we choose - without anger.
You can't magically be free from anger tomorrow,
but you can put yourself on your own training program
that will reduce the frequency and intensity
of your anger response day by day, year by year.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Recall a recent time when someone was strongly critical
of your opinions (perhaps your political or religious beliefs).
Now, put yourself in their shoes - with compassion.
Try to understand and appreciate their point-of-view -
not to change your own opinions,
but to celebrate all our human differences - in peace.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Thank you for visiting: Funny Puts Quotes - Funny Quotes about Puts.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.